How do I get past depression over my age?

#1
While I have a few ambitious pursuits that I hold with a great degree of importance, I always feel obstructed and frustrated when I think about my age. And I'm stuck with the notion that "I'm too old for that". As I try to make every day count and pave my way closer to achieving my goals, it's always these intrusive thoughts that's holding me back.

I don't want to mention my age here because I want to stay away from the idea that age is a big deal and that I have limitations or deadlines. Unfortunately, the media likes to imbue certain ages with their standard of youth and vitality. I always try to convince myself that age is just a number, which in reality, is true. I mean if you look around, you see 40 year olds who look and act young, and you see 20 year olds you look and act old. Age is not a measure of youth, it's your personality and character that determines that.

My personal trainer is 40 years old and she does running marathons and she runs up to 10k. One of my favourite singers hit 32 recently and she maintains her fitness and goes clubbing every weekend. One of my favourite acrobatic athletes hit 33 and still does performances. My favourite role model is 55 years old and he goes around debating people, he's trenchant and intellectual. Nobody asks these people how old they are and that they shouldn't be doing what they're doing at that age...

I know I'm being irrational about this whole age thing. I have goals that are not too demanding, and I'm so close to achieving them, if I could only put in a little effort in focusing on them rather than wallowing over my age.

Sadly, I go through this on a daily basis, and I have a tough time finding any sort of inspiration. and I was wondering, may be it isn't my irrational thoughts over my age, may be I'm going through clinical depression? I realised that throughout the day I get episodes of depression and perhaps anti-depressants just might be the solution to this problem? Or perhaps all I need is a push from some encouraging words...
 
#2
Anti-depressants can help prevent & rid clinical depression (which is when you lose all "emotional connection" to things). But the cause of the depression i think is the automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). "ANTs are cynical, gloomy, and complaining thoughts that just seem to keep marching in all by themselves" (from the book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life").
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
#3
Age. A visit a nursing home and see what a struggle it is for the elderly.

I have my physical heatlh, independence, wealth, hobbies I love. I can run.

There is no doubt I will look back with longing. I had all that why did I worry.
 

grapevine

Well-known member
#6
Age can be no barrier , it's more health and mindset I've found. But with me as a woman I do get depressed being 35 and time ticking by in terms of fertility.
 
#7
I remember feeling this way. I reached 30 and hadn't come close to my goals when I was 18. My peers had already graduated college and started families and I had none of that. I didn't move past this until I recognized some very real facts. Here is what you must realize and you will not move past this until you accomplish these things in order (I'm not kidding): First, you must love yourself. That means you must forgive yourself for your mistakes (both intentional and unintentional). Second, you must decide if you want to live in freedom or wallow in self pity. If you can love yourself and decide you want to live in freedom, then you can move this third phase: the people you are referencing have lived a completely different life than you and you logically cannot have the same expectations of yourself when you're life until now (past and present) is different than theirs. They didn't grow up in the house you grew up in. They didn't have the same experiences you had as a child, teen, 20 something, etc. The path you have left behind is a path you, and only you, have had to walk. Had those people lived your life, they might have ended up where you are and vice versa. You cannot judge your path using someone else's path as a reference. You must life your own life and focus on overcoming the obstacles in your path.
 
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#8
I try not to think about it, because when i do I go into anxiety and depression and want to get out and keep running.
What you can do is try to accept it, and not think about it no matter how hard it is.
It is something you can't control and a number of how many years you've been living on planet Earth.
Find some purpose to live, everyone has, you have, eat healthy, excercise, go out there beyond your comfort zones and seek enjoyment. When I went skydiving, my instructor was 70. He might be dreading his age, but he is living it to the full. You can too.
 
#9
.. the people you are referencing have lived a completely different life than you and you logically cannot have the same expectations of yourself when you're life until now (past and present) is different than theirs. They didn't grow up in the house you grew up in. They didn't have the same experiences you had as a child, teen, 20 something, etc. The path you have left behind is a path you, and only you, have had to walk. Had those people lived your life, they might have ended up where you are and vice versa. You cannot judge your path using someone else's path as a reference. You must life your own life and focus on overcoming the obstacles in your path.
So VERY TRUE! :perfect:
 

grapevine

Well-known member
#10
I remember feeling this way. I reached 30 and hadn't come close to my goals when I was 18. My peers had already graduated college and started families and I had none of that. I didn't move past this until I recognized some very real facts. Here is what you must realize and you will not move past this until you accomplish these things in order (I'm not kidding): First, you must love yourself. That means you must forgive yourself for your mistakes (both intentional and unintentional). Second, you must decide if you want to live in freedom or wallow in self pity. If you can love yourself and decide you want to live in freedom, then you can move this third phase: the people you are referencing have lived a completely different life than you and you logically cannot have the same expectations of yourself when you're life until now (past and present) is different than theirs. They didn't grow up in the house you grew up in. They didn't have the same experiences you had as a child, teen, 20 something, etc. The path you have left behind is a path you, and only you, have had to walk. Had those people lived your life, they might have ended up where you are and vice versa. You cannot judge your path using someone else's path as a reference. You must life your own life and focus on overcoming the obstacles in your path.
This is so true -
 
#11
just make friends of all age group, be in friendship relationship with young girls and boys, same with old age group and middle age group. enjoy the moment and company being with all age bar it will change the mindset, thinking and also upgrade our mental thinking up to date. friendship will always keep you evergreen.
 

lily

Well-known member
#13
age. i hate that society puts an oldness to age. it's not true! if you take care of yourself well you not only will feel young but look young! it also can be a genetic thing as well but anyway i know a 40 years old who looks and act like she's twenty something! i know a 50 year old who looks like she could be 26! i look younger than my ago too. i can look as young as 16! i have a pic of me in the post your picture thread but I'm afraid to post a larger pic for security reasons. who cares about your age, just take care of yourself and be who you feel you are on the inside and out!
 
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