How can I improve my contact

[deleted #89]

I have a hard time making good eye contact with people, when I make eye contact I feel as the other person can see my anxiety/discomfort. Ok I can practice by looking at the person's forehead or look at them in between the eyes...but what else would be more effective?

 

[Falkor]

I have generally with almost everyone....
Although teenagers scare me more.. I don't trust them all, since their so extravert and loudish, i need to gain trust first

It's hard to look people in the eyes, but i do it all time cuz I am constantly focussed on the people around me, I need to focus on the task. It will make me live in my own world again, like I used to do.. When I was a kid.

How bad i want to feel like that again... Dancing in the supermarket and crying for candies hahaha

 

[Kiwong]

Practice relaxation and mindfullness. When I have had some good relaxation sessions I am able to talk more easily.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

I wear my sunglassas all the time. I only take them off after talking for a few moments, after I have settled into a conversation and feel comfortable with the other person. If I don't feel comfortable they stay on.

 

[Kiwong]

I wear my sunglassas all the time. I only take them off after talking for a few moments, after I have settled into a conversation and feel comfortable with the other person. If I don't feel comfortable they stay on.

I've thought about wearing sunglasses too, but I can't do that in the office unfortunately.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

Try slightly tinted. It works if you wear prescription glasses already. The slight tinting gives you the effect of being hidden even if you are not.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

Smile when you male eye contact.Look at the area surrounding the eye,the shape of the eye,the lid,skin tone.Make it clear you appreciate another letting them look into their eyes without conflict erupting.

I have the reverse problem with dogs,I cannot be around another being without looking at it's eyes,I am not an ogler of body parts,and as a result a lot of dog perceive me as a threat and attack.

 

[megalon]

The best way I've found is just to consciously force myself. I just practice looking where peoples' eyes are, even if they're too far away to notice or their back is turned, I just look at the back of their head. It gets easier but if I'm trying to concentrate on something else, I still tend to forget.

 

[userremoved]

Focus on what the person is saying, and not how you look to them.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well, I guess the only thing I can say is try to ease yourself into it; try to look into someone's eyes for x amount of seconds or minutes, then, next time, try to beat that record. Don't worry about how others perceive you; I'm pretty certain that when I look at people, I look like some kind of monster or really scary person. But, I still try anyway.

As for girls, well, just accept their compliments like everyone said and feel happy that they want to associate themselves with you. If you're being complimented by multiple girls, then don't you think that there's something to what they're saying? You're luckier than some of us on here and out in the world, so take advantage of that luck and go get some female associates!

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I make eye contact with most everyone I encounter, but the after gets me too. A smile of some sort would be appropriate, a friendly smile if we can. It has to be natural though, and I have trouble being natural about smiling sometimes. Even children make me feel awkward. They always consider me quietly; I probably frighten them. Oh, well. But show me a cat, and I go oohing and ahhing.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I wear my sunglassas all the time. I only take them off after talking for a few moments, after I have settled into a conversation and feel comfortable with the other person. If I don't feel comfortable they stay on.

I always wear sunglasses when I am outside, during daylight, sometimes even on cloudy days-I do have sensitive eyes. They are like my protective shield. They do come off when I am indoors though.

 

[FriendlessGirl]

I have the same problem. I agree what others said plus you can try practice your eye contact looking people in the eye in tv while watching news or other disscusions.