lost hope
I was a member on here before, but lost all my info since I moved across the country about 8 months ago for a job. Haven't been on since due to work and life.
Anyway recently i was terminated from my job. I've been terminated in the past because I don't always socialize with the management or other co-workers. I go in, do my job well, work long and hard, then go home. Not always a good thing in today's world. Never a good thing when new management comes in and wants to know who you are since most people don't know you. THey just know you work on so and so and have never had a problem with him.
I've been praised in the past by management and co-workers but as time goes on, a quiet co-worker isn't somebody people praise.
Anyway, this latest termination wasn't really because of me. Well, maybe it was, at least I think that way sometimes, but there is no evidence that says that. I came in to do IT project on a 12+ month contract. I was the architect, lead, mentor, designer, and everything. The people were friendly enough and liked to share their lives. I was comfortable and did my job and felt I had a purpose. I learned many things and was getting things done. But the one manager thought the project was a 3 month project while the other manager said it was a 12 month project. At one meeting the one manager said it had to be kept on the down low because he did something with the budgets to bring me in since the company wasn't planning on hiring or bringing in help.
Anyway, another worker was a scheduler/planner or other projects. The one manager got him involved to write out this huge plan to prove what was needed, how long, and so on. It seemed like a great idea. Prove to upper management that this is indeed a complicated project and with a manager/scheduler on board from another department it would look good. That and the one manager kept asking for a realistic plan and schedule.
So it turns out it should be a 2 year plan. I could get it done in a year but the one manager told me to get it right, train those who would maintain it when i was done and take the 2 years. I was happy. So we showed the plan to the higher level manager and he really liked it. He didn't like how it was 2 years, but it was professional and somebody from another department who was well respected helped with the plan, so it got more respect.
So about a week and a half later, I felt good. I finished a few more things, deployed them, tested them and then expected to go to a meeting with the one manager and spread what I did. But the meeting was canceled. It was a normal update, tell me what's going on meeting and I figured the manager had other important things to do since he sort of kept up to date anyway. I finished a few more things and was way ahead of schedule like i knew I would be. I went home for the weekend.
Monday I come in and a few minutes after I sit down to get started on the next part, the higher level manager comes over and asks to meet with me. Not sure why, I thought maybe they were going to hire me full on, but I doubted it since they really didn't budget for me as a contractor. There was another thing though. The previous night I had a dream that I had to find a job within 5 days. I woke up and ignored that because in the past, since I rarely talked, that was always a problem. But this job, I talked, i interacted, and did my best and people seemed to at least like me at work. I wasn't the weird quiet guy.
So the manager tells me they are canceling the project, going in a different direction, and terminating my contract. At first I didn't really understand, i guess I did, but didn't believe it. I do what I normally do, brush it off, act like everything is ok, and move on. My last day would be Friday. Wow 5 days away.
I contacted people I sort of knew in the past, posted my resume did many things. Had a few interviews but nothing good. A company even flew me across the country on their dime and put me up in a hotel for an interview. But they didn't hire me. Seems my communication skills aren't up to par.. Kind of real bad since i was the only US English speaking candidate. Kind of depressing actually. The company i was contracting for had another opportunity about 2500 miles away but I had to pay for relocation and everything. Like I said I just moved 3000+ miles and it was no guarantee I'd get that job.
So in a market where they say most IT people have jobs, I have none and in all honesty, am tired. It seems regardless of what I do to improve, every six months I'm out of a job. Then it takes me 6 months to find a job. And in that time I go broke. Hard to save money when you only work 6 months out of the year and not by choice.
I try to improve my IT skills. I learn new things. I try to interact and speak more. But in the end nothing seems to work. I'm always back at square one with no job, no money and a day or two away from living on the street.
So how do i feel?
Right now I'm about a week or two from actually living on the street and I don't have any hope for a job or interview. I've exhausted the few of my contacts, I've posted my resume online, I contacted companies directly and in the end, as I said in another post, I guess I'm useless.