How are you feeling?

K

Kato

Well-known member
Dread. I have to go shopping. Dread not because of being around people this time. Dread because I have to follow someone around all evening and act polite about shopping.;)
 
K

Kato

Well-known member
Tired. My old Yorkie just has to wake me up early so he can go outside.I swear this happens every time I need extra sleep. What is this revenge?

peeing-upsidedown-9.jpeg
 
D

deleted user 1

Guest
More arguing. Feeling jaded, angry, emotionally worn out. I wish I was on an island all on my own.
 
DespairSoul

DespairSoul

Well-known member
This i was wishing milion of times be on my own Island with out people only with some one who i really love and dont judge me.
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
DespairSoul said:
Hello to everyone,

Social anxiety how do i feel?
Sometimes i cant even describe what i feel coz so much is hurting me.
I have every symptoms of SP :fear of be between people no matter wich ones
if strangers or close family,fear of be juded and critic,fear that i look anxious but i do anyway then fear i should have coz no ones like anxious peole true?
and i cant do almost nothing like go out and have fun,go shopping,go working,go eat to restaurant and shopping centrums or bus is for me horror.
go only for walk if i try it do those stuff my day is ruined coz some one was outside looking on me bad and i already start have feeling that someone looked me bad and i think about it yet few days i need more days for bad experience with people to reset my mind and clear,thats why i better go no where and stay in the house,coz my head work like PC i upload everything what i take like bad to my head and later i suffer coz of that,cry,think about it round round and drawing this to my heart deeply,and feel like my head will explose. Im so despair about my situation coz constantly i wish so much be outside and act normalwith out extremly nervousity my hands are shaking,and i see blury,all the time i must play with my fingers or something squizz,i bite my lips,or play with something what i have in hands and i cant look to eyes this is for me so hard,im tired of my acting wich i cant change i wish so much dont exist.Coz for what is those live if i cant do almost nothing.
I live like this few years and is really a hell on the earth.
Social anxiety come to me like wind and now is in my head added like my apart.
Also i think coz i haveextremly less self'-esteem and people let me believe if they act to me so ignorant or arogant that i really look bad and im not sympatic coz of my nervousity,i believe if would have self-esteem that i chance maybe not complitly but for sure a lot,people did to me with bad acting to me and insulting me.I really start later believe that im ugly or something and this cant be changed i will always look how i look and my anxiety cant disspaer if i will be for people always something less. I was thinking and still im about suicide just kill me close my eyes and i will finally have my piece in my soul what im longing for so so so much. But this is to problem im to much affraid of this that i alieve this and i will be yet must live in some psychiatr with my brain totally off.And this will be my punishment that i dont appreaciate my live,coz is something wonderfull holy but not for me if i cant do basic stuff like others i feel anoyed of people what are having fun,they smile,they hang out and dont worry about no sense stuff like me. Sorry for long way as i write and some mistakes but my mature language isnt english.::(:
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I understand completely.
 
DespairSoul

DespairSoul

Well-known member
anomicdeer said:
I understand completely.
Click to expand...

Hello, yes atleast here i found some support if not in real world thank u. My family is fine they try to support me but isnt helping me anyway, i just swimm in my problems like in deep ocean of tears i cant get out of dark side of my problems.
By the way they are not here anyway i live with my bf and anyway unhappy coz i have here only he and if he go out im so lonely and this is teasing me anyway...i wait for him like dog for his master im dependent on him. And i feel like small child:confused: like i never grow up://
 
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