Hi Freestyle,
Well, it is really hard to explain and it is not as simple as doing a small test like that to be honest.
I mean, I imagined myself kissing another guy passionately the other day and it made me feel sick, but then when I watched this film last night and this gay scene came on, I started to get a sensation in my groinal region and my heart started to beat quicker. I am not sure if that happened because I was fearnig it, or whether I liked it. I dont want to like it, I dont want to be gay, but something just keeps telling me I am. I have tried accepting the fact I am gay, but for some reason I just cant, but then I have lost my libido (spelling?) when it comes to women comlpetely, which only feeds my gay worries.
The thing that is confusing me the most is why would I have always liked girls before these thoughts, how was I so easily aroused by my ex girlfriends, even when we were just cuddling and things, I would start to get an erection. I went and seen one of my girl mates the other day (and that is all she is, a mate) and I found myself getting aroused being around her, when I cuddled her, I started to get a semi!
I never have sexual thoughts about males until the HOCD thing kicks in and it all spirals from there. I now find myself noticing males more in the street and when I do notice females, I feel numb toward them.
Well, it is really hard to explain and it is not as simple as doing a small test like that to be honest.
I mean, I imagined myself kissing another guy passionately the other day and it made me feel sick, but then when I watched this film last night and this gay scene came on, I started to get a sensation in my groinal region and my heart started to beat quicker. I am not sure if that happened because I was fearnig it, or whether I liked it. I dont want to like it, I dont want to be gay, but something just keeps telling me I am. I have tried accepting the fact I am gay, but for some reason I just cant, but then I have lost my libido (spelling?) when it comes to women comlpetely, which only feeds my gay worries.
The thing that is confusing me the most is why would I have always liked girls before these thoughts, how was I so easily aroused by my ex girlfriends, even when we were just cuddling and things, I would start to get an erection. I went and seen one of my girl mates the other day (and that is all she is, a mate) and I found myself getting aroused being around her, when I cuddled her, I started to get a semi!
I never have sexual thoughts about males until the HOCD thing kicks in and it all spirals from there. I now find myself noticing males more in the street and when I do notice females, I feel numb toward them.