Here we go

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Eri

Member
Hello everyone. I decided to join here after attempting to start college last week. It made me realize I might have some social problems.
All I can say is that it was not a pleasant experience.
The one and a half days I endured was spent in fear of getting a question I didn't understand (this was German), being placed in groups (something I really fear), having someone talking to me... I can't really explain the fear I feel when I'm placed in situations like these, but it's very real for me even though I know it's irrational. I've always been a very shy person, but I honestly thought I was strong enough to cope with being in college. Obviously I'm not, because I went straight into what I call prey mode, and I knew immediately I had to withdraw from the course.
I'm very disappointed in myself right now for being so weak and not more of a fighter. It seems that my social problems are bigger than I'd like to acknowledge.
So yeah, at the moment I'm having all this overwhelming thoughts and worries about the future (will I ever make it with all my weaknesses?), the present (what am I going to fill my days with now?), my abilities, my options and so on and so forth.
I thought maybe this forum could be do me some good. I'm looking forward to hopefully getting to know some of you and be a part of the community here.
Eri
 
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Feathers

Well-known member
Hi & Welcome!

I recommend going to Germany for a volunteering experience when you can, there are camps especially in the summer and some options are year-round. If you go for at least 2 weeks, it's likely you'll start thinking in German too..
Nobody expects a first year student to know everything!!
And yeah first week can be tough, please don't give up after just one week though? Did you manage to find a friendly soul (maybe someone quiet too, or with similar interests?) even if you have just one friend, it may be easier!!
Do you have a friend, bf or relative who could go with you, just for the beginning?

Maybe studying something else could be helpful too? You sound fluent in English, how about maybe studying that? Or something else that you might be more comfortable with? A lot can depend on how the classrooms and professors look and communicate too.. I think it's still time to maybe sign up for something else?

Wishing you good luck!
 
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Eri

Member
Thanks Damaged, and thanks Feathers for the kind reply. I would love to do voluntary work. It's already crossed my mind, but I just don't know where to start and I'm not sure if I have the courage either.
I know it's weak of me, but I really don't feel like I have strength to go back to the university. I don't really have anyone who could help my in that way. My dream (in lack of a better word) was to study Japanese, but then I'd have to move away from home which scares me too much. But it's what I really, genuinely want to do, more than German, so I think I'll work on this in my mind. I really appreciate your tips even though I'm afraid I can't give very satisfying answers, if you know what I mean:/
 
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