help needed

[WiwerGoch]

I hate the fact that my "friend" only talks to me when no one else is with us. When we're not alone she completely ignores me. I can't say i blame her - who'd want to talk to the "weird girl that never speaks"? This adds to all the stuff I've got going on in my mind right now, I need to talk to someone, but I don't know who and I don't know how! Please help

 

[slowmotiondaydream]

I hate the fact that my "friend" only talks to me when no one else is with us. When we're not alone she completely ignores me. I can't say i blame her - who'd want to talk to the "weird girl that never speaks"? This adds to all the stuff I've got going on in my mind right now, I need to talk to someone, but I don't know who and I don't know how! Please help

care for a chat? [email protected]

 

[Feathers]

I hate the fact that my "friend" only talks to me when no one else is with us. When we're not alone she completely ignores me. I can't say i blame her - who'd want to talk to the "weird girl that never speaks"? This adds to all the stuff I've got going on in my mind right now, I need to talk to someone, but I don't know who and I don't know how! Please help

Hm, maybe she's overwhelmed with too many people going on at the same time too?
At a time, a friend of mine 'accused' me of ignoring her when we were with other people, but it was only cause I knew we'd talk again and be together during the other breaks and for lunch etc.
I thought, 'We hang out all the time anyway', let's just talk to other people now (as we didn't meet them every day, only in some classes..)
The funny thing is she was/is way more attractive than me (generally considered) and I thought she was way more sociable/confident too, so I thought she'd join in and talk to other people if she wanted to as well..
She just sort of stood at the side.. When we talked about it it was a bit better...

I've had another friend in primary school who did sort of 'ditch' me for 'the cooler bunch'... (and that can kinda suck) So I know there's a difference between these two, depending on individual circumstances..

Can you sort of try to talk to some of the friendlier/nicer or shier-looking people who are around too?

Just being focused on one person can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, it's good to have a variety of friends, at least a few.. So that if one person is busy or not there, you still have others to talk to.. And new people bring new experiences and new insights.. It may be interesting to talk about things with them..

If you don't know what to talk about with these other people, there's a book list I posted somewhere - there are books that I found very helpful... Especially try reading 'Meeting People Is Fun'..

 

[Anomaly]

I hate the fact that my "friend" only talks to me when no one else is with us. When we're not alone she completely ignores me. I can't say i blame her - who'd want to talk to the "weird girl that never speaks"? This adds to all the stuff I've got going on in my mind right now, I need to talk to someone, but I don't know who and I don't know how! Please help

This happens to me as well (though I have no friends). I believe there was a similar thread like this where several people reported noticing the same thing.

 

[Feathers]

Thanks I've got one or two other people that I talk to quite often. But I get the feeling that they don't want to be with me 24/7! but maybe it's me being too self conscious

You're welcome! Cool that you can talk with other people too!

Yeah, you're probably right - nobody wants to be with someone 24/7, even if they are married and such, it's good to have some time apart.. with other people and friends... This may be difficult to understand sometimes, especially if you click so well.. Even if you really enjoy time together, it may be good to do stuff separately too!! Understand that by letting other people 'go', they can come back to you enriched and full of energy or new ideas and info etc, so you and they can have more fun talking to each other again..

My mum has an acquaintance who sort of 'usurps' people and almost doesn't let one talk to anyone else (even when it's needed), and it can be a bit awkward at times..
I'm guessing you're not like that, you sound like an intelligent person, just wanted to show you an extreme this can get to!!

Sometimes other people need to talk to others for various reasons, like homework assignments or common projects or whatever..

Maybe you can widen the network of people you talk to? Or reconnect with some people you used to be good friends or acquaintances with?

You could also read a bit on communication techniques and such, I found that very helpful too.. It was easier to communicate with people then.. And it may be good to work on your confidence, yeah.. Like maybe start a gratitude list or accomplishments list, or post in the threads here about what you like on yourself...

Know that other people may see you not as "weird girl that never speaks" but as 'this really cool girl I wish I could get to know better'!! (And maybe they may even wonder if there's something wrong with them, so that you don't want to talk to them?)

Your nickname says you've got lots of imagination, and I think you really must be an interesting girl!!