Hi. This is my first post, but Ive lurked on this site for a bit...
I'm not new to anxiety. I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was twelve. I did not have any friends, people at school refused to talk to me...I was, and still am a loner. What caused my anxiety...two bullying incidents a few years before, spending a lot of time in hospital when I was younger...certainly, the way the people from school acted around me only made it worse...
My parents were in denial about it. They refused to get me help until the school insisted. My mother is particular believed that it was "just part of my sensitive personality",that I was attention seeking...ironically, all I wanted was to be left alone. I later find out she has depression, and by the time I was really suffering from anxiety, had been for several years. I really cannot help but feel betrayed by all of that.
But I got CBT and the anxiety became less and less and was almost non existent for a while. It could not last though. June this year it came back, along with some other issues...Bipolar disorder.
It is currently a battle with this countries useless health system to get help. Im struggling to get any sort of counselling. I cannot get any help for bipolar and I am literally on my own dealing with it...The meds I am on for anxiety have been cut, and I am rationing them. When they run out, the anxiety will come back full force...help.
Everything just is not going well lately...my friends currently hate me. I feel as though its better not to have any, maybe that is just bipolar or SA talking, I don't know. Ive overdosed on my meds, the reason they have been stopped, I suspect, although they have yet to tell me that. Im wondering if it would be easier to stop caring, and to not feel any sort of emotion.
Thats my story. Thanks if you read it.
Otherside
I'm not new to anxiety. I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was twelve. I did not have any friends, people at school refused to talk to me...I was, and still am a loner. What caused my anxiety...two bullying incidents a few years before, spending a lot of time in hospital when I was younger...certainly, the way the people from school acted around me only made it worse...
My parents were in denial about it. They refused to get me help until the school insisted. My mother is particular believed that it was "just part of my sensitive personality",that I was attention seeking...ironically, all I wanted was to be left alone. I later find out she has depression, and by the time I was really suffering from anxiety, had been for several years. I really cannot help but feel betrayed by all of that.
But I got CBT and the anxiety became less and less and was almost non existent for a while. It could not last though. June this year it came back, along with some other issues...Bipolar disorder.
It is currently a battle with this countries useless health system to get help. Im struggling to get any sort of counselling. I cannot get any help for bipolar and I am literally on my own dealing with it...The meds I am on for anxiety have been cut, and I am rationing them. When they run out, the anxiety will come back full force...help.
Everything just is not going well lately...my friends currently hate me. I feel as though its better not to have any, maybe that is just bipolar or SA talking, I don't know. Ive overdosed on my meds, the reason they have been stopped, I suspect, although they have yet to tell me that. Im wondering if it would be easier to stop caring, and to not feel any sort of emotion.
Thats my story. Thanks if you read it.
Otherside
there are other people with this situation so you are not alone. you can come one here anytime you like and rant, and complain or what not and just do what you need to do to get it off of your chest. my advice is to see how you can get your meds to not be cut. tell your doctor you really, really need them. i would also look for an activity that makes you feel good, whatever it is, going on a walk, drawing, a sport, day dreaming, fantasizing, resting, listening to music, or anything that just makes you laugh or puts a smile on your face. put this activity in your mind and use that as a motivation to get through your day. also you could try praying, ask God for help and whatever you need. he is always there for you no matter what and he loves you always. i hope this helps you and i hope you get 100% better, and you will be in my prayers. Good luck!