Having social anxiety for so long...

[phil91]

OK, a little background information: I've had social anxiety throughout my teen years (since 13 I think, I'm 18 now), and during these years I've done anything possible to avoid socialising with others, saying very little in social situations, generally being the outcast etc. Now I've come to realise this has become part of my personality, whether I feel anxious or not. I've been like this for so long, I've forgotten how to be normal.

I'm at university now, living in halls with 5 others. I have improved slightly and I actually want to be social now. I'm quite lucky that my flatmates are friendly to me and still invite me out with them, even though I'm really quiet. However, my problem is that I CAN'T talk to people, even if I want to. When there's a discussion with several people, I think "OK phil, contribute something to the conversation" but I just can't, my mind is totally blank. I'm certain it's not just anxiety (although I do still have SA). Even when I'm completely drunk (I'm at uni, it happens ) I still can't think of anything to say. It's like I have no opinion on anything, or I lack a personality.

Is anyone else like this? Is it reversible? I really don't want to be like this forever. It's so depressing that I can't communicate with people. I just want to be a friendly, chatty person.

 

[northernlywest]

Hello

Maybe it is just anxiety, as I get this all the time too. So when it does, I just bring up silly small talk as they call it - mention the weather or a tv show you know that person likes.

My mind goes blank alot whenever anyone asks me a question that I'm not expecting. Eg once (in my home town) a man asked me where blah blah building was and although I walk by it every day, I could not for the life of me remember where it was. My mind went completely blank.

Even just silly questions people ask me, eg my age, my mind will go blank and I will forget even if I feel comfortable in the situation lol. Does this ever happen to you?

 

[Shift]

I'm like that too. My mind goes blank when I get nervous and I can 't think of anything to say to people. Even when I'm not nervous, I still don't have anything to say most of the time...

People can change, so I don't think you'll be like this forever.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I've always been that way. I go blank and become extremely self-conscious when trying to talk to people, especially when I first meet them. Mine lets-up as I get comfortable with them, though. The problem being that most people seem to write me-off as weird before that happens.

 

[phil91]

Hello

Maybe it is just anxiety, as I get this all the time too. So when it does, I just bring up silly small talk as they call it - mention the weather or a tv show you know that person likes.

Small talk is an impossible task for me. :\

Even just silly questions people ask me, eg my age, my mind will go blank and I will forget even if I feel comfortable in the situation lol. Does this ever happen to you?

Sort of, someone asked me where a store was a while ago, and it took me several seconds (and a few "umm"s and some head scratching) to remember and tell him. My main problem with being asked something off-guard is I try to answer too quickly and the words don't come out in the right order, which makes me look like a complete tool.

 

[lollipop103]

Small talk is an impossible task for me. :\


Sort of, someone asked me where a store was a while ago, and it took me several seconds (and a few "umm"s and some head scratching) to remember and tell him. My main problem with being asked something off-guard is I try to answer too quickly and the words don't come out in the right order, which makes me look like a complete tool.

Lol, that happens to me too.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

My mind goes blank a lot of times when I have to talk to people. I think it's anxiety because, even if it's a question I know the answer to, or have definite opinions on, when a person asks me, I'll have no clue what the answer is, or what to say. I've even forgotten my name on occasion, & also my age & very simple basic things that I definitely do know the answer to lol.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I have this problem as well, I supposed it was a normal symptom of Social phobia. This is my main problem... My mind goes blank in conversation, I cannot concentrate with others around, I cannot think straight because my mind is so preoccupied with monitoring. Everything takes extra effort. It's confusing. And sometimes I don't feel like I'm there at all. This is with or without anxiety symptoms.

 

[eski]

Yes I too have this same problem... Even without anxiety I just have nothing to say to people most of the time and can't keep a conversation going. I think this is what actually leads to my anxiety when I meet people or in anticpation of meeting people because I know that I'll draw a blank and not have much to say... even though I really want to be social. I dunno, I feel like my brain is dead and that I can't form opinions about stuff or sometimes I zone out when in a group convo. Ive been like this since early teens and I too feel like its taking over my personality

And getting asked a question off guard gets me too... like they'll ask me a question when I'm not execting it so either I poorly contruct my sentences so I make abosultely no sense at all or I'll go blank and say "I don't know.." only to realise later that I know the answer... *facepalm*

 

[megalon]

My main problem with being asked something off-guard is I try to answer too quickly and the words don't come out in the right order, which makes me look like a complete tool.

The best is when you know the answer to the question and you get all hyped up that you're gonna help someone out and you say it way too fast and your voice cracks, etc. After that the other person is like "what?" Then you have to repeat it and you just end up feeling like an idiot.