Having no friends is killing me

[CosmicNeurotica]

I've decided not having a friend is the thing actually making me suffer.
At least before when I had someone to hang out with, and had a few friends in school, my social anxiety didn't bother me as much because I knew people liked me. It didn't matter so much then when someone didn't like me.
I could handle being judged negatively because I knew I had that love there from friends, and it made me confident.

But now, so many years later, it's the negative things that gnaw at me. When someone doesn't like the way I dress, or the music I like, or something I said. It becomes an obsession and leads to major depression. I don't have a friend to call and talk about stuff with. Like a crutch to fall back on to make me happy again.
It's just so hard the older I get I guess to have much in common with anyone. Or maybe because my tastes have gotten more broad and I have more freedom in thinking for myself, the art I enjoy is more particular to me.
And the fact that I have aspergers, can't live on my own and have to live with my mom at 30. Yeah, that one's probably a pretty big one.

Oh well, I just needed to post because I was feeling down and of course I won't post anywhere else but here.
Love you guys. Peace!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I think you should try living on your own. Write down a plan?

 

[recluse]

I know how you feel, i have no friends i can call close...Aqquaintances really, i have no social life because i have no friends, and no friends because of no social life so catch 22.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I think you should try living on your own. Write down a plan?

Yeah I was going to say that, it seems impossible for you, why is that?

Also I found that a good way to make friends starting from nothing is choose places where you like to hang out or spend time, and stick to it, so at some point you will see the same people again and again and you might end up talking to some of them and then if there is a connection with one (it might never happen) then maybe a relationship will develop. Most of the time it happens when it is not expected. ::

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

Well, in addition to my aspergers and social anxiety, I've developed agoraphobia. So it's not an easy thing for me just to get out of the house, let alone trying to figure out how to be independent and living on my own would be too much for me.
That kinda takes care of the choose places I like to hang out too.
I know I have to get out of this somehow, but it's not going to be easy. Having friends makes one feel so much better though. Maybe that's where I could gain motivation.

Anyway, thanks for the post Millie. I might take you up on that offer.
Most things in life are indeed a catch 22. A lot of times you have to just get lucky.
Thanks for your posts guys.

 

[bigcat1967]

Try making small talk with people. There might be one that you trust and end up being friends with...

 

[shyness123]

I've decided not having a friend is the thing actually making me suffer.
At least before when I had someone to hang out with, and had a few friends in school, my social anxiety didn't bother me as much because I knew people liked me. It didn't matter so much then when someone didn't like me.
I could handle being judged negatively because I knew I had that love there from friends, and it made me confident.

But now, so many years later, it's the negative things that gnaw at me. When someone doesn't like the way I dress, or the music I like, or something I said. It becomes an obsession and leads to major depression. I don't have a friend to call and talk about stuff with. Like a crutch to fall back on to make me happy again.
It's just so hard the older I get I guess to have much in common with anyone. Or maybe because my tastes have gotten more broad and I have more freedom in thinking for myself, the art I enjoy is more particular to me.
And the fact that I have aspergers, can't live on my own and have to live with my mom at 30. Yeah, that one's probably a pretty big one.

Oh well, I just needed to post because I was feeling down and of course I won't post anywhere else but here.
Love you guys. Peace!

I can relate to this, not having friends when you have social anxiety is very hard. I have been without friends and it isn't easy at all.

 

[layeazy]

strength comes from within if you want something bad enough go out and get it. Friends are annoying at times and can be hard to manage but if you want them join a gym or get into the things that you would want a friend to be into...

 

[Kiwong]

Not to be loved, or liked, but just to fit in.

I can survive without friends, but the need to belong to something seems important.

 

[Agon]

I've decided not having a friend is the thing actually making me suffer.
At least before when I had someone to hang out with, and had a few friends in school, my social anxiety didn't bother me as much because I knew people liked me. It didn't matter so much then when someone didn't like me.
I could handle being judged negatively because I knew I had that love there from friends, and it made me confident.

But now, so many years later, it's the negative things that gnaw at me. When someone doesn't like the way I dress, or the music I like, or something I said. It becomes an obsession and leads to major depression. I don't have a friend to call and talk about stuff with. Like a crutch to fall back on to make me happy again.
It's just so hard the older I get I guess to have much in common with anyone. Or maybe because my tastes have gotten more broad and I have more freedom in thinking for myself, the art I enjoy is more particular to me.
And the fact that I have aspergers, can't live on my own and have to live with my mom at 30. Yeah, that one's probably a pretty big one.

Oh well, I just needed to post because I was feeling down and of course I won't post anywhere else but here.
Love you guys. Peace!

*hug* Hopefully this is just a temporary phase, like a um. Whatcha call it? The darkest hour before dawn? I'm really bad at analogies...

The people at this forum are here for you.

 

[popolala]

Yeah, the pet idea is good, when 1 dont have friends, its best to make good use of a single lifestyle. Such as adopting a pet, and i think there are ways to make friends, such as here on SA, maybe you guys should meet up 1 day and hang out. I think it be cool. You sound like a safe guy.

 

[aidan]

i'll be your friend if you want. always good to make new internet friends, i know how you feel

I've decided not having a friend is the thing actually making me suffer.
At least before when I had someone to hang out with, and had a few friends in school, my social anxiety didn't bother me as much because I knew people liked me. It didn't matter so much then when someone didn't like me.
I could handle being judged negatively because I knew I had that love there from friends, and it made me confident.

But now, so many years later, it's the negative things that gnaw at me. When someone doesn't like the way I dress, or the music I like, or something I said. It becomes an obsession and leads to major depression. I don't have a friend to call and talk about stuff with. Like a crutch to fall back on to make me happy again.
It's just so hard the older I get I guess to have much in common with anyone. Or maybe because my tastes have gotten more broad and I have more freedom in thinking for myself, the art I enjoy is more particular to me.
And the fact that I have aspergers, can't live on my own and have to live with my mom at 30. Yeah, that one's probably a pretty big one.

Oh well, I just needed to post because I was feeling down and of course I won't post anywhere else but here.
Love you guys. Peace!

 

[leave_me_alone]

I know this feeling very well.

Its hard when there is noobdy who you can share your happiness with.
Its hard when there is nobody to call, when you feel absolutely down and need to cheer up.

I will say one very private thing. There is nothing more that appears in my dreams more often, than my old friends. Literally every second time i have a dream it is about them. The situations varies, but what usually happens is, they ask me where I been all those years. Then I apologize and somehow they accept and dont make big deal out of it (I guess thats what i wish to happen in real life)... And then its all just like before, when we used to hang out. Just having good time...Various scenarios.

Am I missinng friends so much, that they even appear in my dreams? It is a nightmare to be honest.. messes with my mind greatly and i always feel miserable when i wake up.

 

[NewtoThis]

Ugh, yeah. I haven't made friends in years and I'll graduate from college soon. To me, my greatest fear is having my parents watch me walk (which I really hope I don't do) and afterwards asking me where all my friends are. I really don't like telling my family that I haven't made any friends whatsoever in three years but I don't know how to hide it.
I guess that means I'll just have to get better somehow... Joining here has helped though.