haunted by missed opportunities

[skins]

have you ever felt that you've met your 'soulmate' in the past and either done nothing about it, or screwed things up? i don't care if i miss out on job opportunities or make some wrong decisions in life somtimes..but, if i miss out on love, then that seems to hurt the most.

years ago back in the uni days i reckon i met her....thing was my AvPD was much more sevre then it is now, which meant i couldn't do anything about it, or was unable or unwilling to even try. if i met her today i would have a good chance to make things work as there sure was chemistry there. i always dream about if i were able to have my life over again how different it could have been...i know its pointless to think about the past like this but it does happen...now i dont believe in there being only the one 'soulmate' out there for everyone or in fact there is such a thing, but its still thought provoking.

 

[SilentStranger]

Don't know about soul mate. I haven't been friends with any females* to that greater extent to know if I would have considered them to be my soul mate. But I have missed opportunities ... well one opportunity in particular.

That particular period there were well lots of ups and downs in my life. Like you said if it happened now maybe... just maybe I would have done something about it.

Anyway circumstances prevented me from pursuing it anyway as I finished uni!

I actually I considered deliberately failing uni over this issue (and having to find a job). Weird/Sad/Funny I know.


Yes same here I don't feel the same about jobs, socialising or success in my career etc, but just this subject. Probably because its such a primal emotion yet it is as yet for me unreachable.


* Doesn't include ppl here on this site.

 

[dutchguy]

Oh yes. I've had so many opportunities, but my fear has made me waste all of them (well, except one maybe, and that one went nowhere after the first date). Some of them are very painful memories.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

Well like you I don't believe in there just being one 'soulmate' for everyone, so while I would regret a missed opportunity (and there have been such opportunities that I have missed) I don't think of it in terms of blowing my one chance at happiness or anything like that.

You make mistakes in life. You learn. You move on.

 

[skins]

yeh i guess by soulmate i meant i would have been happy to marry this girl and live the rest of my life with her( well that was the gut feeling)..she was gorgeous too. i've had a few girlfriends since then but none have worked out long term...i guess its the ones you miss out on are the ones you end up regretting the most. regret is such a destructive emotion

 

[vj288]

"The memories that haunt us are cherished all the same."

I think that tells it all...

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

yea.. there was someone who i loved but never told him and all the sudden we couldn't trust eachother and that was the end communication was off as usual.. and it may be impossible to feel the same way about anyone else ever. maybe you could try emailing that girl and start chatting?

 

[vj288]

maybe you could try emailing that girl and start chatting?

Yeah I totally agree with LazyHermitCrab. Missing one opportunity doesn't mean game over. If you really are soulmates then everything will work out.

Don't cry over spilled milk, get a cat.

 

[Anti Matter]

You always get a second chance, even if you don't think you can there is always hope, least you can do is try and talk to the girl again right?

Give it a go.

 

[zharl]

Goodness gracious! So much dwelling on the past in here! It doesn't help to think of what could have been, but I'm sure you all know this. Just do your best to move on and try to realize that for every opportunity missed, there are more to actually make. Learn from your mistakes and try to do better when confronted with a similar situation in the future.

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, I agree... Lots of past possibilities too, sometimes we even both liked each other.. and somehow it didn't work out or we were both too shy or I saw it wouldn't really be 'the real thing' (or saw a deal breaker, or a few) or his approach was off, or mine or we were both too young and silly or whatever...

I had periods of time when I was thinking about these past options too.. But somehow I did see it would probably not work out and it's probably best to let past be the past - if you're really meant to be, maybe your paths will meet again, or more likely you'll meet someone better and more interesting!!

I also like the quote, 'Everything you do before you meet (a Mr Right) is practising' (I think it was from a romance book but it's fun...)

It may help you to write down all of their flaws, or at least as many as you remember!! And make a list of what values you have and deem important, and see if they had those - most likely these will not completely overlap!

Don't cry over spilled milk, get a cat.

LOVE your quote!! ha ha so true..