Hating everything I do

[polishgirl]

Hey guys!
I was just thinking about how social phobia affects my self-confidence. As if, how do I perceive myself? And I came to a conclusion, I really hate everything I do, I keep pissing myself off and I am pretty sure I am not good enough for anyone.

I feel like others don't blame themselves, but rather the sickness. They are sure they have a lot to offer. So that makes me think that most of us, who have SA, have rather a good perception of self and are quite self-confident (which is a great thing!).

I guess, what I am asking is... do you guys have that too? This is the biggest problem in my life, and I have been struggling to fight my own imaginaries, ideals, and the perception of who I should be for a long time. I guess I just want to know if someone is struggling with it, too.

 

[Section_31]

Polishgirl, i have to agree with everything youve said. You took the words right out of my mouth.

 

[Graeme1988]

Oh, very much so. My self-confidence and how do I perceive myself have definitely been affected by my social anxiety.

I have struggle with this for awhile now, since I was a teenager. And it's on going. But I think your perception changes over time, as you get older. Things will get better. I know it won't happen overnight but eventually... you will realise you are good enough. As we all are.

 

[ronja]

But I think your perception changes over time, as you get older. Things will get better. I know it won't happen overnight but eventually... you will realise you are good enough. As we all are.

We're all good enough- for what? And why sholud we only be good enough.. That pisses me of- and not on you greame but just that idea. I was just thinking about that and wrote something about it in another post. There no survival of the fittist in human society enymore and i think that is a shame, because we are now just all " good enough" Someone please say im wrong it will be much apreassiated (God! Dont worry i know im a terrible speller) .I dont want to be here and just be good enough, I dont feel I have anything to offer the world that wouldn't be here just the same, and better, in someone else. I dont think Im making any sense right now.

 

[Bustn Justin]

Yea I hate myself everyday. Just seems like I can't do everything right or I do not do it good enough. It be nice to be able to love and accept myself for all of what I am.

Alot of this stems from when I was younger since I always put down and and never had approval from others. Just got to a point if nobody thinks I am ok then I guess I am not ok.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

I have zero self-confidence/esteem. I think there is something wrong with the person that I am and I blame myself for everything (well, not everything, but most things).
I believe the reason why I have this condition is because I'm extremely insecure and not worthy of anyone. I think SA and low self-esteem have quite a high co-morbidity rate, but not all sufferers completely despise themselves.

 

[polishgirl]

Thank you guys for all your responses I am actually surprised, and sad, that many people go through this, too. It's a nightmare, feeling like you don't deserve anything. I always thought though that people around me are so confident and feel good with who they are, I didn't think there were many like me.

Yea I hate myself everyday. Just seems like I can't do everything right or I do not do it good enough. It be nice to be able to love and accept myself for all of what I am.

Alot of this stems from when I was younger since I always put down and and never had approval from others. Just got to a point if nobody thinks I am ok then I guess I am not ok.

Exactly what I mean. EXACTLY. I had so many proofs, coming from others that I'm not good enough that now I can't think of me any different. SOMETHING must be utterly wrong with me.

Oh, very much so. My self-confidence and how do I perceive myself have definitely been affected by my social anxiety.

I have struggle with this for awhile now, since I was a teenager. And it's on going. But I think your perception changes over time, as you get older. Things will get better. I know it won't happen overnight but eventually... you will realise you are good enough. As we all are.

Thank you, I hope that in time I will mature enough to know what I'm worth.

 

[Griffin]

Yes, I do tend to take a negative view on the things I do or have done. I don't know if this is a cause or effect of my lack of social skills.

Whilst it causes me much angst, I still look to compare my life with that of my friends or peers. I always think that I'm way behind them. That I've wasted the opportunities I had in school and in university. Now I feel like I'm doing the same in work.

To an extent, I can see low self-esteem being an effect of poor social skills. When you don't fit in with others and can't make friends that easily, you tend to feel alone. If you're a loner then that's great, but when you want to be friendly with people, and hope that the feeling's mutual, it can be disheartening to be left out.

In feeling alone and upset, for an introvert like myself, it's easy to look inward for the source of the problem (and no doubt, lack of social skills is down to me). When you start to feel like that, I think you tend to see the things that you do in a bad light.

I try and rationalise it - they don't want to hang around with me because I'm bad at this and that - but in doing so, ironically, I become irrational and take things too far. That's when I start to think that my life is a failure. That my 'acccomplishments' are at the bottom end of the scale.

Always there is the part of my that has to compare with others. It's like I'm looking for an answer by highlighting my own flaws, and then that's all I can focus on.