Hated by many loved by few

[Rodney]

Do you ever feel like no matter how you act people hate you? I used to be rather talkative, very weird, and really happy in the first half of highschool. I had friends and a lot of aquaintances but at the same time I had a lot of people who openly hated me. Eventually it got to me and it even seemed like friends started to become haters. So I tried to change who I was by acting duller and not as weird or talkative but people also hated the new me. This dull me continued into my first year at university and it got me nowhere and the few people that knew me grew to hate me.

So why is this? I swear, I could act and say the same things as someone who is very much liked and people who would laugh and like them because of what they said would not laugh or like me for the same thing. ::

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

No matter how great a person you can be, there will always be someone out there who either loves you or hates you. It's inevitable. You can't expect to impress everyone in this world. As long as you accept who you are and love yourself, there's no need to worry about the haters. If someone dislikes you, that's on them. Don't blame yourself because other people don't know how to properly observe others. People have eyes to see with but those eyes cannot see things for what they truly are.

 

[just wanna b normal]

you dont ever change the way you are just 4 people approval stay true to yourself you are all you can be be youself. if u do try to change yull seem fake people dont like that & youll never know how to act. people wanna see the real you thats what distinguish you from others. maybe you jsut need to change the way you think. think postive you keep thinking they might not like you thats negative plus your not suppose to care what people thats a big key in being yourself

 

[Silvox Black]

Therein lies an important concept you must understand. True friends are the ones who appreciate you for who you truly are. You should not feel any need to change your personality to please the whims of others. Find happiness within yourself, if your friends follow suit, then you know they are trustworthy.

However, in your case it would seem you are far too desperate for appreciation and fulfillment from your peers. I believe that others can sense this. They see you as a sort of overeager puppy trying to be something he isn't. You should also be aware of precisely what your definition of being hated is, and whether or not that correlates with how others view you.

 

[UnOccupied]

I had a similar cycle actually going from middle school to high school to college. That is where my SA developed, i just became quieter and quieter, until i had full blown SA, where i was scared to say anything on my mind and to be around people, in fear of being hated. It is a tough cycle.

I don't know exactly what to tell you, but in my case, this feeling kind of diminished when i found a good group of friends to hang around. Also, the CBT i started recently has REALLY been helping better than any therapy i have ever done.

Here is a good rational statement i picked up from my CBT therapist that has helped me out a lot in the past:

"If somebody hates you without a justifiable reason, there must be something wrong with them."

It is simple, to the point, and SO true. I hope that helps, at least a little. I mean, seriously, what is the reason for someone to hate you? It's not like you have wronged them in any way. They may not want to be your best friend, or hear EVERYTHING you have to say. But, this doesn't mean they hate you necessarily. Humans weren't meant to get along with everyone. Oh, speaking of that, here's a quote i heard a few weeks ago from this motivational quote site i like to visit. It went something like this:

"I don't know the key to being happy. But, i know the sure way to be unhappy is trying to please everyone."