Hard to put my finger on what exactly is wrong with me

[gustavofring]

I don't know what the root cause of my problems, or the dominant disorder is.

I think I have several things in varying degrees, that may all be related to each other in a cause and effect-manner:
- avoidant personality disorder
- mild social anxiety
- eating disorder (binge-eating)
- sleeping disorder (night owl, delayed sleep syndrome, daytime fatigue and fogginess)
- depression (mood swings, escapism online, in movies, games, etc.)
- possible ADD (concentration problems, mind going 360 degrees all the time)
- obsession with appearance, looking at the mirror often, comparing myself to other men/guys
- general insecurity (very critical of myself and others, constantly questioning myself)

How does one go about treating the root cause, when you don't know where to start? Especially when some things are a vicious circle?

For example: I need to finish my grad. project, so I work at home. Which leads to social isolation. But I procrastinate, have social anxiety and worry on my mind because of roommates (because I'm always at home) so I can't really concentrate, because of my avoidant personality disorder my room becomes a mess and I procrastinate even more.... Which leads to anxiety about not making progress, makes me feel like a failure and an invalid irrelevant person, which may lead to insomnia. Insomnia leads to me needing a lot of energy in the day so I over-eat or drink. Over-eating again leads to feeling fatigued and depressed again... etc.

It's just hard to get out of such a situation. ::
If I could look at my life objectively as an outsider I think I would say to myself just do this and do that, get it over with, but it's not so easy to actually do it yourself. Once things are messed up in one section of your life, it becomes a giant pile of problems. I keep trying to motivate myself, taking on new mindsets every day to "snap out of it" but it takes a lot of energy and I swing back each time.

I have tried several things like working in the library instead of at home, but I can't seem to focus there either. In fact the only times when I really can focus for hours is at night, but then I am a wreck the next day. The next day consists mainly in browsing the internet for hours, before I get started on working on my grad project in the evening. I also tried many times to switch back to a normal sleep pattern and start at 8 am but I just find myself very fatigued and with a drifting mind. I tried sporting but I do it two to three times and then give up because I get bored with it.

Sometimes I wish I had a little person with a whip standing by me to control me and to make me do things. I think the main problem is my lack of a structured life.

 

[planemo]

The list you made would seem very appropriate to myself. It's a combination of problems, each one seemingly intertwined with the next. I suppose they all seem to overlap, and i guess it's all anxiety related. Where to start??? i don't know myself. I've been trying to find the root problem, but it ain't easy. It just seems like i was born into an anxious state, and over time it has just snowballed into more problems. How does one get to the root of it all??? Perhaps therapy and the opinion of a professional could help us help ourselves. I certainly hope there is an answer. Is it possible to seek some help?

Motivation is something i lack as well. it's not that i don't want to get better or succeed, it's just that deep down i know that my issues will make success a much more difficult prospect than it should be. i think it's a sign of a man, who has encountered the sheer destructive power of his issues and is not willing to fight any more for his happiness. sometimes you wonder if it's worth all the effort, i guess.

 

[Ali Ali]

I dont know what to tell you man, except to hang on and things will eventually get better. Maybe school is stressing you? Maybe you should a take a break and continue later when your feeling up to it.

 

[gustavofring]

I dont know what to tell you man, except to hang on and things will eventually get better. Maybe school is stressing you? Maybe you should a take a break and continue later when your feeling up to it.

I already have a year and a half delay in graduating. I really need to get it over with for the sake of my life and sanity, not to mention the financial implications. This has really become a pressure point in my brain that may be the cause of my stagnation in life. I just feel tired and worn out, without having accomplished anything.

Motivation is something i lack as well.

I don't know if motivation is my problem, but maybe it's true. I've watched many motivational video's, but in the end, it's a whole lot of faux optimism (YES I CAN), only to fall back in self-destructive habits later on. I can be motivated and optimistic for a short while, but it's like my inner subconcious beliefs don't really agree and I go back into my sluggish, non-accomplishing, procrastinating, anxious state of mind.

With me, it seems I only spring into action when the bucket's about to overflow with problems and I kick into emergency mode. I'm hoping I can get my life sorted out before I hit the bottom.

 

[Porto]

Anxiety can be very problematic but in my point of view nothing even compares with depression. If you get both, is like a swatch bom in your brain. It shakes u up and down all the time, stealing u the most important thing to finish your graduation: motivation ( and energy). U should see a doctor who will eventually prescribe u thing at least to help u trough this time of your life. Hope u get better soon!

 

[gustavofring]

Anxiety can be very problematic but in my point of view nothing even compares with depression. If you get both, is like a swatch bom in your brain. It shakes u up and down all the time, stealing u the most important thing to finish your graduation: motivation ( and energy). U should see a doctor who will eventually prescribe u thing at least to help u trough this time of your life. Hope u get better soon!

Thanks. I haven't been to the doctor in years, (also procrastination, putting it ahead of me) and I need to find a new one in the city I live in now, since I've moved. I've never been on any kind of medication, so it may be worth a try to see if it can help me through this difficult time.

I really don't look forward to try and explain my problems to a new doctor at the first meeting. I'm probably not going to be able to form a coherent story because of the overwhelming (in my mind) scope of the problem so I may have to write it all down. I'll probably seem like a desperate fool wanting a magic pill to fix everything, which is partly true.

 

[Porto]

U'll probably lie about something, or at least got some problems to be honest when it comes to social anxiety, although depression is other issue u can start for there, with symphtoms, cause medication dont cure the problem it self, with luck it can decrease the symptoms! I'm not the biggest fan of meds, but everyone is a case, and in the end is the doctor who knows better what can be good for u. But all u describes is more part of depress than anxiety. So give it a try!

 

[guyonthecouch]

I can tell you exactly what the magic pill is... It's called routine/structure... the actual doing of the stuff is hard enough without having to figure out what you should be doing as you go about your day... Sometimes i just freeze up thnking what i should be doing this second out of the huge list of stuff and at the end i end up not doing anything at all. But, i have found that if i plan and analize ahead of time, all i have to do is just stick to the schedule and not let myself think about it so much. At the end, it always pays off, and the important thing is to just remember and trust that "it will pay off at the end".... Also, in my experience, bad sleeping habits make every one of those simptoms even worse. So i would start by trying to stick to a sleeping schedule, times are not important, the important thing is sticking to it and making it work around your life. Exercise is very helpfull, ever heard of P90X? look it up... it will also help with your food problem... I also want to recommend a book called "the procastination workbook", it's helped me and other people i know... Cheers!!

 

[Dark angel]

Wow, is like looking myself in the mirror. I usually stay awake on nights because I don't want the next day to come in and think how to survive the entire day again. I do have problems looking myself at the mirror and I tend to isolate a lot from the general public and my own family

 

[upndwn]

I have most of the symptoms you have listed, except the looking in the mirror stuff. I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder (type 2) and chronic depression. My mood swings are pretty frequent and extreme when I'm not taking meds. When I have my up periods I feel like the King of the world, but in my down periods I feel like burying myself in the deepest, darkest pit I can find. Although whenever I can't occupy my mind with something, be it television, partying or hobbies, I get really depressed and just want to die. I have a real fear of being out alone without anyone I know around, but I have improved a lot when it comes to this problem lately.

My only advice is to seek professional help to help asses your problems. Try to occupy yourself with activities you enjoy and you feel you can master. Don't be afraid to lean on your friends if you want to, but remember to be there for them when they need someone to lean on. Try to be honest to yourself, and practice being happy with who you are. Don't compare yourself to others because there are no others like you.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I related WAY TOO MUCH to this thread. :crying:

 

[laure15]

I can also relate to most of this thread except for the looking in the mirror and binge eating thing. Sometimes, I feel lack of motivation but lately, I've been trying to motivate myself to learn new skills over the winter break. I hope I can make productive use of my time while school's closed.

 

[hardy]

How is it possible to solve our problems if we don't know what the problem is?? A trouble shooter starts by seeing all the things that can go wrong...a doctor looks for all the physical symptoms.

Our mind is hardwired to work in an anxious way....if you don't watch it.....is it possible to cure it? The solution lies in Observation.....observe the mind. A psychiatrist can help a bit with all his experience in reading books...but he wont be there when you are unable to sleep due to too much thinking. Apply what you learn...and see if it works. Become a scientist...i know easier said than done...but give your best.

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. -- Buddha


How to observe the mind?? read this: The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation

 

[kc1296426]

I understand completely man. You have focus issues and whatnot and that can relate create a bad situation, especially in Grad School.

PLEASE take a chance and read this: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/please-click-and-read-47901/

You need to go and see a mental health professional, and straighten out what's going wrong and how you can fix it. You have to tell them straight up how you feel man. You're in a grad school and you haven't found that you need to go and get help from a professional? That's the first thing you do whenever you have anything wrong with you, physically and mentally, despite what anyone says or thinks. Never forget that.