hard time at college...

[madmike]

I'm curious how any of you who've been or are at college (university) have made it through. I feel i'm doing everything in my powers to be a part of the scene (which may not be a great deal due to SA), but still feel alienated from all the people i live with.

I'd just like to know what other people did to cope with all the social stresses. It's friday night today and i haven't been out at all (not even into the kitchen). Any good advice on establishing better relationships maybe, building up some contacts... any success stories that might inspire me...?

I really don't want to drop out, but it gets soooo hards sometimes *sigh*

 

[no1]

when times are tough, and you feel like you've done everything you can... wait for Jesus or just suck it up and live with it (if you want to).

sorry, I know not much help.

 

[freestylemonster]

drink, man!!! That's what I do every Friday, Saturday and sometimes other days of the week! It helps me become more relaxed and I can have a better time when I'm with my room mate or other people who live in the res. In fact I never would have met my best friend if I wasn't drunk one night haha..

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying to get wasted all the time, just a few drinks here and there will help you enjoy college more

 

[yohannes]

yeah I am in college right now I have like One more year to go. College has turn out to be better than High school for me. I actually avoided going to College for a while ,because I thought it would be the same as High School.
For me what really has help me and still is helping me is that. I am more concentrating on my school work rather than my SA. It makes a real different bro college is stressful enough without SA. So, my advice to you is that get some help go to your doctor if you haven't already tell him/her your problem.

One more thing don't drop out no matter how hard it get please don't. I have been dropping out of high-school like a bad habit. It didn't help it actually made my SA worst. Think about your future you can bit your SA with a right help in a couple of years. Keep going bro this is a phrase I use "I will never stop I will keep going."

 

[Moonie]

I didn't really have many friends in college, but I did meet more people in there than in HS. So, things could get better for you. I didn't really meet them until my second or third years, though. And I lucked out with some nice roommates one yr.

Like a previous poster said, have you ever tried going out or drinking with your roommates? I don't mean to sound like alcohol is the cure, but if you are not opposed to drinking, having a few with your roomies can call for good times and some fun memories.

Otherwise, try to just start small. Say hello to your roommates, ask them how their classes are going, comment on the music they listen to, or what have you. Also, try and look at some posters on campus for clubs/organizations/events that might interest you - even if that means attending them alone. I found that in college that people are more likely to do stuff on their own (which was taboo is HS!) So, you won't appear to be weird or anything for showing up alone. There might be other singletons there.

 

[LonelyLeaf]

I agree it gets tough at times but whatever you do don't drop out! I'm quite sure you'll regret it later..

 

[PhantomPod]

Definitely don't drop out! You can make it through!

I had a hard time socializing in college, and did not make many friends at all (no matter how hard I seemed to try), but I finally graduated this year, and feel good about making it through, even though I made it through friendless.

 

[Alejandro]

I can't get enough of it

I have gone through four year of undergrad course followed by a year of honours and now I am back for more.

During my honours year I had to give a presentation in front of the school of chemistry and physics at the beginning of the year followed by a stressful questioning after each one, meanwhile in the analytical chem group, they made us give talks basically every month (in front of ten people) which is still terrifying.


What I did is practice the hell out of everything and do what I do when i have to phone someone. A minute or two of hesitation followed by the fact that i had already dialled the number, to which i think "i have locked in, i have to go through with it" and start talking incoherently.

If this fails, persuade yourself that you don't give a shit about anything. Keep doing this and perhaps you may see some change, hopefully positive.

 

[Azahara]

Replay

For me what really has help me and still is helping me is that. I am more concentrating on my school work rather than my SA. "

Exactly, this is what I did. And help me so much. and then, like Yohannes says: a visit to the doctor.
Good like. I feel your pain. I felt this in Ireland. All alone in my room.

Good luck!

 

[SilentType]

Definitely don't drop out. I did two years ago and now I'm headed back for more. I would almost be graduated by now if I had just stuck it out... Hang in there. I look at it like this... Would u rather be socially inept with a good job or socially inept with a crappy job? The answer is obvious, unfortunately we have to get through college to achieve that good job that will make us independent, therefore more self-confident individuals. At least I hope that's the way it's gonna work, lol...


Peace

 

[chris11]

Unfortunatly, I can completly relate to you. I'm in my first semester of university, and have been for quite some time (it's now nearing the end of the semester) and I haven't talked to anyone in any of my classes beyond what is nessacary... It does get somewhat lonely--but that's what the antideppresants are for!...

 

[madmike]

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I find that concentrating on school work does help, and gets you into that zone where you stop thinking about your problems and just get on with it. But it's sometimes so hard just to take that first step when i constantly feel like i should be stepping out of myself, joining some more societies, talking to some more people, or getting a job.

It does seem to be getting a little better though. Ever since wednesday i've felt a lot happier and i've spent my first weekend at college for quite a while i even seem to be getting on a little better with one of my flatmates and we chatted quite a bit yesterday (even though another flatmate has stopped noticing me altogether and another one even seems to be really scared of me... i guess i must have said some pretty dumb things to her in my state of nervosity lol

 

[Square_Eyes]

I started university this september and I have to say, although I am studying a topic that I love, the negative social aspects of the experience is absolutlely killing me.
I spend 99.9% of my time in my room. I venture out only for lectures, food shopping once a week, and to make food and I dread each of these events more and more as time progresses. I'm missing meals all the time because I simply wont venture out of my room if I know my flat mates are wandering about and even when they're not the possibility that they may return whilst I'm making food is usually more than enough to stop me going down there.

 

[kayelle]

I'm taking a year out from college at the minute...I was in third year in university and then I didn't go back for my second semester last year, so I''m just starting again at second semester this January..I'm soooo excited!
Have you thought of deferring a year if you're finding it a bit much? The college were very willing to let me defer once I had a medical cert. you'd regret it if you dropped out completely, but I'm so glad I took a year out for myself and moved home, to fully address my anxiety and get over it and concentrate completely on just getting better. And think of it this way, universities often let you take a year out, but you won't be able to do that ten years down the line when you've a job and responsibilities and a mortgage and such!