Hi Guys this is really really really urgent. I have really severe OCD and I might go half blind and my head feels so bad because of my rituals.
I am now 22 and still in college. It all started two years ago when I developed a ritual which is straining my forehead muscles and squeezing my eye inside to prevent bad things from happening. It seemed to be quite successful at first until my eye has gotten really blurred and bad, seeing coloured lines and spots. It is so hard to stop it as I have been doing great with this ritual in my life like getting good grades in college which I have never done before and all but it IS hurting my eyes and head real bad. and I hate it I actually preferred my life the way it was before I even got good grades. That is how bad it is! So this time I calmed myself down and relaxed n did not straining my neck muscles at all and behold, WHY GOD WHY?? sth bad REALLY REALLY happened I swear one of things I have feared the most and caused me to do my rituals, a bed bug dropped on my bed and tried to bite me. I have been fearing bedbugs for very long and have never seen ONE before my apartment which I have just moved in this week claims that here are no bed bugs.SO the landlord said yes it was a bedbug. Now I can't stop squeezing my eyes and straining my head ITS SO BAD because I fear all my worst fears might come true. The fear of bed bugs was one of the worst fears I had which made me do this OCD habit. I am so ****ed up now!!!
It's so unfortunate that the thing i feared the most ACTUALLY happened the very first moment I tried to relax which means i am cursed when i relaxed and bad things will always happen when I relax which has become a more convinced reality because this WAS the 2 time it happened. The other time I totally relaxed and tell my say Ok nothing is going to happen (did not squeeze my eyes), and I ****nig FELL OFF a ski hill but of course not badly injured at all. But all such fears only come true WHEN I tell my self to let go and relax and the curse is activated when I stop squeezing my eyes. I was like trying to tell myself to start a whole new life and now i am SO So so so so so scared IT FAILED THAT my ocd is actually true and I have to squeeze my eyes the whole day to prevent bad things from happening!! omg and my eyes and body are so tired and I have so much eye bags and look older by the day if I keep doing it. But I just can't stop because of those 2 incdients where my GREATEST fear actually occurred when I STOPPED. Guys please you gotta help me this forum is my last resort before I do something stupid. I cant even walk proerly now because evrey ****ing minute I have to keep reminding myself not to relax and HAVE TO strain my eyes.
I am now 22 and still in college. It all started two years ago when I developed a ritual which is straining my forehead muscles and squeezing my eye inside to prevent bad things from happening. It seemed to be quite successful at first until my eye has gotten really blurred and bad, seeing coloured lines and spots. It is so hard to stop it as I have been doing great with this ritual in my life like getting good grades in college which I have never done before and all but it IS hurting my eyes and head real bad. and I hate it I actually preferred my life the way it was before I even got good grades. That is how bad it is! So this time I calmed myself down and relaxed n did not straining my neck muscles at all and behold, WHY GOD WHY?? sth bad REALLY REALLY happened I swear one of things I have feared the most and caused me to do my rituals, a bed bug dropped on my bed and tried to bite me. I have been fearing bedbugs for very long and have never seen ONE before my apartment which I have just moved in this week claims that here are no bed bugs.SO the landlord said yes it was a bedbug. Now I can't stop squeezing my eyes and straining my head ITS SO BAD because I fear all my worst fears might come true. The fear of bed bugs was one of the worst fears I had which made me do this OCD habit. I am so ****ed up now!!!
It's so unfortunate that the thing i feared the most ACTUALLY happened the very first moment I tried to relax which means i am cursed when i relaxed and bad things will always happen when I relax which has become a more convinced reality because this WAS the 2 time it happened. The other time I totally relaxed and tell my say Ok nothing is going to happen (did not squeeze my eyes), and I ****nig FELL OFF a ski hill but of course not badly injured at all. But all such fears only come true WHEN I tell my self to let go and relax and the curse is activated when I stop squeezing my eyes. I was like trying to tell myself to start a whole new life and now i am SO So so so so so scared IT FAILED THAT my ocd is actually true and I have to squeeze my eyes the whole day to prevent bad things from happening!! omg and my eyes and body are so tired and I have so much eye bags and look older by the day if I keep doing it. But I just can't stop because of those 2 incdients where my GREATEST fear actually occurred when I STOPPED. Guys please you gotta help me this forum is my last resort before I do something stupid. I cant even walk proerly now because evrey ****ing minute I have to keep reminding myself not to relax and HAVE TO strain my eyes.
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