Going on Dates
- Thread starter missjesss
- Start date
Aussie_Lad
Well-known member
There is not one person alive that wouldn't be at least a little nervous on their first date with someone (and I assume it's your first). He is probably pretty nervous too. It is okay to be nervous, but you the more you let your nerves control your life, the harder it will be next time. I find the easiest way is to pretend that they are just some random person that you want to talk to, without there being a love interest there.
Also helps to have a backup plan if things aren't going well. Excuse yourself to go to the toilet and then get a friend to call you back in a couple of minutes with a fake emergency that requires you to immediately leave and attend to the "emergency".
Also helps to have a backup plan if things aren't going well. Excuse yourself to go to the toilet and then get a friend to call you back in a couple of minutes with a fake emergency that requires you to immediately leave and attend to the "emergency".
I will try my best, its just kind of a blind date he trains at my gym and he found me on facebook and complimented me etc, hes rlly cute which wud make me even more nervous lol what should I do if there is silent moments in our convos ... im find once I feel comfortable with them but the first few dates r the worst!!
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
Don't cancel. It's alright to be nervous. Most people would be on a first date. Whenever you're starting to feel a bit anxious, just let him know that you're nervous. I don't see why he won't be understanding.
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
Silent moments don't have to be awkward. Just remember that there is nothing wrong with silence. I can understand that you would be nervous around someone whom you find attractive, but keep in mind that he's human just like you.
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I think it's normal to be a little nervous and excited! 
You're really cute too, if that's you in the avatar! So maybe he'll be even more nervous too..
Also, remember, you are there to get to know him, some gorgeous-looking guys can also be boring or airheads, you are there to check if he's just 'a pretty face' or something more... some people on Facebook are also married or partnered up, and doing iffy stuff on Facebook, so you need to check if he's really single too etc. (only time will tell, don't count just on what he says, observe his behaviour in future days etc) Lots of stuff to find out about him.. so take it as 'information-gathering' opportunity... Like a research meeting or something Or being 'undercover' in a spy sense lol..? Or pretend you're your favorite movie star in a cool movie? (What would she say/do? ) if it helps to look at it that way?
Yeah you can always excuse yourself and go to the toilet, it's good to have a friend 'on alert' (and tell her where you meet up etc) to call you if needed.. It's not your job to entertain him, it's quite okay to let him do the talking and think of topics etc You can also always talk about the place where you meet, the drink/food, the weather.. since you go to the gym you can talk about health and sports/gym stuff.. and see if you have any other common interests? (maybe there's something about that on FB, but let him tell you himself..) If you find things you are both interested in, communication can develop quite naturally...
There's a thread that agoraphobickatie started a while ago, some tips there too.. do a search or browse through old threads..
You're really cute too, if that's you in the avatar! So maybe he'll be even more nervous too..
Also, remember, you are there to get to know him, some gorgeous-looking guys can also be boring or airheads, you are there to check if he's just 'a pretty face' or something more... some people on Facebook are also married or partnered up, and doing iffy stuff on Facebook, so you need to check if he's really single too etc. (only time will tell, don't count just on what he says, observe his behaviour in future days etc) Lots of stuff to find out about him.. so take it as 'information-gathering' opportunity... Like a research meeting or something
Or being 'undercover' in a spy sense lol..? Or pretend you're your favorite movie star in a cool movie? (What would she say/do? ) if it helps to look at it that way?Yeah you can always excuse yourself and go to the toilet, it's good to have a friend 'on alert' (and tell her where you meet up etc) to call you if needed.. It's not your job to entertain him, it's quite okay to let him do the talking and think of topics etc
You can also always talk about the place where you meet, the drink/food, the weather.. since you go to the gym you can talk about health and sports/gym stuff.. and see if you have any other common interests? (maybe there's something about that on FB, but let him tell you himself..) If you find things you are both interested in, communication can develop quite naturally...There's a thread that agoraphobickatie started a while ago, some tips there too.. do a search or browse through old threads..
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Falkor
1
I think it's normal too, to be nervous on the first date.
I think everyone is nervous on their first date, because you don't know much about the other person, you have to get ''used to that person''. And see if you two have the ''click''. But mostly a conversation just rolls in, and silences don't have to be awkward, you could use the silence to think about another topic, just keep relaxed.. And it'll be fine! You could ask him about his life, about his interests, what kind of music he likes, what other sports he likes, what he does for study, or work. And don't forget, telling him about yourself!
Just let the moment come, and just let it suprise ya. Just see what will happen.
It can be fun, and that would be great. But if it's not, it's not your fault, you both have to make the best out of it!
Good luck!!!!
I think everyone is nervous on their first date, because you don't know much about the other person, you have to get ''used to that person''. And see if you two have the ''click''.
But mostly a conversation just rolls in, and silences don't have to be awkward, you could use the silence to think about another topic, just keep relaxed.. And it'll be fine! You could ask him about his life, about his interests, what kind of music he likes, what other sports he likes, what he does for study, or work. And don't forget, telling him about yourself!Just let the moment come, and just let it suprise ya. Just see what will happen.
It can be fun, and that would be great. But if it's not, it's not your fault, you both have to make the best out of it!
Good luck!!!!
thanks for all the tips and support! I guess the main fear wud be judgement and if he thinks im boring coz im a bit shy (as per my usual fear) but as we all know that fear is totally irrational and unnecessary oh and the eye contact problem I am slowly overcoming this but I have not mastered it yet! it rlly just depends how anxious im feeling gotta try and not think about it but I will repost and let you all know how I went