Getting yelled at by people

[aw1993]

I sometimes get random people snapping at me when I make a little mistake. I don't know why, its like I attract hostile reactions. For instance today we have these meetings at my school where all the students come and I had to write down people's names to speak. One girl was speaking for a really long time and I thought she was done talking so I began writing other people's names on the board who had their hands up. (this was my first time doing this so I didn't know when to write names down and was sort of overwhelmed)... anyways, this guy who I know but not well flipped out at me in front of everyone and yelled at me to stop because she wasn't done yet. He then gave me a disgusted face and whispered with some people as if I'd just done the rudest thing in the world. I was so taken aback, I just wanted to give up. I feel like whenever I try something, people look out for my mistakes and react so hostile/condescending towards me. I don't know if he would have yelled like that if it was anyone else because he's usually nice. Maybe I'm just an easy target or misunderstood... Does anyone else get these unwanted rude reactions from people?

 

[Iluv]

It's quite common. People get over-emotional when you don't cater to their every need. The best way to deal with it, is very hard to determine. Ignoring it makes it worse and opens to the doors to let them snap at you and view you as weak. But standing up to them can start a war. I have a had time finding out what to do, usually I end up snapping back but since I contained that I usually just brush it off. It's hard to avoid.

 

[Section_31]

Its amazing how fast grown adults can turn into children when they dont get what they want, their way, right that second. I get this at work alot being in IT. Luckily i have the luxury of telling my boss, then HE calls and yells at them, LOL.

Ive also gotten to the point where if they dish it out i give it right back to them. Then they try to play the email CC game and include managers that arent involved in the initial incident. I do the same thing, provide the facts, CC my boss' boss, and things usually end there.

Not the same situation obviously but similar.

 

[coyote]

...I don't know if he would have yelled like that if it was anyone else because he's usually nice...

his reaction seems a little extreme

maybe there was someone he was trying to impress

try not to take it personally - you made an honest mistake

he was the one with the issue

 

[Kat]

Yeah if he is usually nice I would have just stood up to him maybe he didn’t realize how hostile he was being. Some people don’t change but some people just need a wake-up call.

 

[doubtmyself]

Yelling at someone is "abuse". He was being abusive. You were used as a scape goat. Don't let him get away with it again.

 

[ohheybbyitscorixx]

People tend to use others as scapegoats for their own issues. The best thing I can say is try to be more assertive, which is not easy. If you are known to be shy, people think you're the perfect person to be **** on. But, if you make it known you will not take it (because you don't deserve that), then people will try and make a scapegoat of someone else because they know you won't take it. It helps having people to remind you that you're not the problem here. I tend to get yelled at for EVERYTHING (from bosses, coworkers, "friends", family). I figured out it's because I give off a vibe that I don't like confrontation. Now? I just ignore it the best I can. I try not to give a reaction because it's THEIR issues, not mine. I hope no one else does this to you any time soon.

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

i know what u mean about getting yelled at. it's not your fault but u feel you've done something horrible. people just yell and get angry over the stupidest things and all they really do it make the situation worse. ::

i hate when people yell at me, or even just at people around me, it gives me a sinking feeling inside and makes me super anxious and i usually just get paralyzed like i cant move after someone has yelled very angrily. especially when u didnt do anything wrong or just confabulating with them n then they snap and get mad over any little thing.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

I sometimes get random people snapping at me when I make a little mistake. I don't know why, its like I attract hostile reactions. For instance today we have these meetings at my school where all the students come and I had to write down people's names to speak. One girl was speaking for a really long time and I thought she was done talking so I began writing other people's names on the board who had their hands up. (this was my first time doing this so I didn't know when to write names down and was sort of overwhelmed)... anyways, this guy who I know but not well flipped out at me in front of everyone and yelled at me to stop because she wasn't done yet. He then gave me a disgusted face and whispered with some people as if I'd just done the rudest thing in the world. I was so taken aback, I just wanted to give up. I feel like whenever I try something, people look out for my mistakes and react so hostile/condescending towards me. I don't know if he would have yelled like that if it was anyone else because he's usually nice. Maybe I'm just an easy target or misunderstood... Does anyone else get these unwanted rude reactions from people?

One thing that I've learned is that people can sense "weakness" in others. When they realize this, it is their "opportunity" to show their own strength by making the other person feel small. It is a boost to them to showcase their "strength." Learn ways to build your self esteem. Once you appear strong and self assured, this will no longer happen to you. A couple books I found helpful are "Your Perfect Right" and "Self Coaching." Best wishes.

 

[doubtmyself]

Its amazing how fast grown adults can turn into children when they dont get what they want, their way, right that second. I get this at work alot being in IT. Luckily i have the luxury of telling my boss, then HE calls and yells at them, LOL.

Ive also gotten to the point where if they dish it out i give it right back to them. Then they try to play the email CC game and include managers that arent involved in the initial incident. I do the same thing, provide the facts, CC my boss' boss, and things usually end there.
Not the same situation obviously but similar.

Describing my former workplace to a tee.

 

[doubtmyself]

I feel like whenever I try something, people look out for my mistakes and react so hostile/condescending towards me. I don't know if he would have yelled like that if it was anyone else because he's usually nice. Maybe I'm just an easy target or misunderstood... Does anyone else get these unwanted rude reactions from people?

Law of the jungle. People sniff weak prey and go in for the kill.
Honestly, sometimes I think I'd feel safer with real tigers!!