Getting more then i bargained for [about relationships]

[JonnyD]

It's funny, it's an perfect comic situation - i'm even thinkingmy life would be a good sitcom (I'm thinking about The good, the bad , and the shy guy - Or Nice guy's never finish - or maybe women and him)...

I came a long way from not being able to talk with women almost like raj (from the big bang theory), from actually asking a girl out.

Last week i came here, crying my lungs out about not being able to go out with this girl, she was alright with me, we are planning to go out again, but today something came up. Guess what, now i have another girl, wanting to go out with me - and she just came on to me like a train.

now they both to go out with me this weekend

The first one is very sweet and understanding with me - she grabbed me and i'm completelly into her, but i think we are losing our momentum (my fault), the second one is a tad bit crazy and very much like me, she's funny and said she really wanted to go out with me , but i just dont know her enought.

now i don't want to hurt anyone here, nor i want to hurt myself - i have two sweet girls that i wish too go out with me - and i just feel like cheating if i go out with each and "evaluete" them - they are human beings!
i'm really thinking about going to colombia

 

[arsenalwa]

Two at the same time? Just a minoota.

*checks I'm really on SPW*

Oh, boy. You are one lucky guy

Won't try and give you any advice, since me giving advice about relationships would be kinda weird. I'm sure others will, though.

 

[Sial Axetder]

... i just feel like cheating if i go out with each and "evaluete" them - they are human beings!
i'm really thinking about going to colombia

Exactly how I would feel. You are in a difficult position, will not hide it.

I can say foolishly the one that makes you feel at ease being you ....

Other than that I fear am unqualified to answer.

 

[JonnyD]

Two at the same time? Just a minoota.

*checks I'm really on SPW*

Oh, boy. You are one lucky guy

Won't try and give you any advice, since me giving advice about relationships would be kinda weird. I'm sure others will, though.

lol i know i should, but i don't feel so lucky, i just wanted to be able to find one girl i like and go out with her, not to choose! i don't want to be that guy that goes around going out with a lot of girls and hooking up with several persons!

I can deal with my feelings towards one person, i don't want to get caught up in mixed feelings

 

[Jamovik]

First of all... DAYUM! You go boy!

Secondly... I really have no idea. What would I do? I would date them both, but not for too long. Your heart and intuition will tell you who the right one is

I'm not high btw... just tired.

 

[BlackPuma]

You lucky dog. ;3

I think you should try your luck with the first girl you mentioned, though. It doesn't really matter whether it's not going as smooth as it once was, that can be fixed. You'll see that that happens allot in a relationship. That other girl sounds nice too, but if you don't know her that well, wouldn't you risk ruining the good thing you've got going on with this other girl? I don't know how long you've been seeing this first girl.

But this is just what I would do, of course. It is by no means valuable nor experienced advice. It's merely a suggestion based upon my own experiences. Other suggestions might fit you better. :3

 

[JonnyD]

thanks guys, So the general sense is that i'm pretty much fu**ed anyway?

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I'd say give it a try with the one you feel better with.
But don't lie to the other one, so if she asked you out, maybe tell her that you really like her but are already involved with someone else. As long as you make a clear choice and don't fool anyone, you should be fine I think. Hope that helps.

 

[Feathers]

Well, I think it's okay to go out with both of them (one at a time ), as long as you keep it 'friends-oriented': that means like a movie for kids under 13 or something like that? That is, just hanging out... talking, getting to know each other.. no kissing or sensual/sexual stuff etc.
(if you kiss one girl she'll probably think you want 'something more'... and if you kiss or mess up with them both that brings you into realm of 'players'... and that is not recommended in my book.. or any good girl's book.. though some girls may be into casual dating or sleeping around too.. so actually it would be best to kinda find out what sort of relationship either of those girls expect? committed 'serious' relationship or just a 'fling'? Some girls may be okay with 'nothing serious' and may even go out with multiple people themselves, or even 'sleep around', though would you really want to go out and be with a girl like that? with stds and such around..)

Other things to find out: wishes and goals of these girls, are you guys compatible or not? If one of you wants to live in the city and the other one wants to have a farm with horses, that may or may not be a problem.. depends on discussion..
That's if you both are looking for something long-term, of course..

How are you both economically? It may sound harsh, but if you both have no jobs and/or are both in debt, it's different than if at least one of you works.. If the girls both work, do they plan to work even after they get married or in a relationship, or not? In that case, can you provide for a maybe-family? - Of course it's probably not a good idea to start asking these things someone you just met, you can hang out and talk about things in a general manner (talking about 'women' or 'men' in general..) and slowly get to know them etc. That's why I said keep it 'friends-oriented' first.. until you get to know them better..

'a bit crazy' can be 'fun' or could indicate possible mental health problems, so maybe try to (diplomatically) discover which is it? This may then help you decide easier too..
Also like Puma said, things can be fixed... And sometimes the initial 'butterflies' can become addictive (some people fall in love with falling in love!) so the really important thing is getting to know someone.. Of course if you don't know her that well you can just meet up for a cup of tea or coffee, you don't have to go to the movies or a weekend in Aspen!!

Actually books on dating recommend it to go out with different people, to get to know them...

 

[JonnyD]

It gets better and better!

Seems the second girl (which is jumping on to me like a kangooroo) is really crazy (not mentally challanged) but she seems to be trying out every type of guy there is (i'm the nerdy type)

The first one, is getting more and more away from me, and i'm losing my hopes.

basically i'm blowing my chances by the our, why can't i find a nice SA girl which would understandme

 

[Sial Axetder]

It gets better and better!

Seems the second girl (which is jumping on to me like a kangooroo) is really crazy (not mentally challanged) but she seems to be trying out every type of guy there is (i'm the nerdy type)

The first one, is getting more and more away from me, and i'm losing my hopes.

basically i'm blowing my chances by the our, why can't i find a nice SA girl which would understandme

Explain more and more away.

 

[Feathers]

It gets better and better!

Seems the second girl (which is jumping on to me like a kangooroo) is really crazy (not mentally challanged) but she seems to be trying out every type of guy there is (i'm the nerdy type)

LOL Has she actually told you that? Or have you heard it from her friends, or...?

If she's really promiscuous and you want something more stable and long-term, just say no.. And maybe she'll become intrigued and want to go long-term with you? he he.. (If you really want that though?? Not sure if her word can mean anything though?)

The first one, is getting more and more away from me, and i'm losing my hopes.

How is she getting away? Has she maybe seen your interest in that other girl 'with the reputation'? (And maybe just decided to step away, possibly because feeling she's 'no competition'?)

basically i'm blowing my chances by the our, why can't i find a nice SA girl which would understandme

lol how old are you? I'm sure there are lots of nice girls out there for you, even if these two don't work out..
At least you're getting to know girls and seeing if there could be compatibility or not.. Now you know more about what you'd really like in a relationship!!

 

[JonnyD]

Explain more and more away.

More and more away like, going out with me kissing me!
seriously how wrong am i?

 

[Feathers]

More and more away like, going out with me kissing me!
seriously how wrong am i?

Then don't wonder the other girl is drifting away!! If she's a nice girl she doesn't want to see you kissing other girls!! (and her friends may tell you if they see you with that other girl... 'duh'...)

It's your choice who you date and how you live.. be careful if this girl is promiscuous though, does she have any stds and such..? be protected, be safe.. maybe ask her to get tested.. or to get tested together? (and still be protected, learn about this stuff) ..also be careful not to get your heart broken.. (it can happen..)

 

[JonnyD]

Then don't wonder the other girl is drifting away!! If she's a nice girl she doesn't want to see you kissing other girls!! (and her friends may tell you if they see you with that other girl... 'duh'...)

It's your choice who you date and how you live.. be careful if this girl is promiscuous though, does she have any stds and such..? be protected, be safe.. maybe ask her to get tested.. or to get tested together? (and still be protected, learn about this stuff) ..also be careful not to get your heart broken.. (it can happen..)

Sorry to revive this topic, i thing i made a little confusion.

I went out with the first girl, the girl i met online, not the second one, i felt bad after not going out with her we stopped talking at all - she's not promiscous, she's just not looking for something serious though. (maybe it makes her promiscuous?)