Getting laid diary

Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
This is going to be a journal of my journey to losing my virginity. Looking back, I've had the opportunity to, but because of my shyness, it didn't happen.

I'm almost 20 and it's getting ridiculous.

This isn't to say I'm downplaying relationships and finding that special someone, this is simply a declaration of a major motivating factor for me. If I find a special someone, all the better.

Whats the first step? Getting a job. I have one lined up, but it requires I get a car because its from 4 pm to 12 am and nobody is going to give me a ride that late. I still don't even have a license..so thats actually the first step. I'm going to get my learners permit as soon as possible and I'll have to drive my mom's car there and back.

Its sort of hard to go on a date without transportation
 
eR1k

eR1k

Active member
Just don't forget to have fun along the way, if you're only goal is to lose your virginity you will get very frustrated when it isn't going the way you planned. And thats bound to happen, there are always a few roadblocks along the way.

Your goal was the same as mine, I lost my virginity 3 months ago but it isn't that big a deal when I've come to think of it. Nothing major will change after you lose your virginity if your confidence doesn't come from within. If your source of confidence is external (sex) you will set yourself up for a system of punishment and reward. Your confidence stays high as long as you continu to have sex, but when you don't get it as often as you want your confidence will plummet.

Be confident because you choose to, because you want to put in the effort to succeed in life. Get a job because you want to learn something new, meet new interesting people. Get your license because you enjoy being independent and free to go where ever you like. Don't do it to impress a girl, do it because you want to treat yourself with respect because you find yourself worthy.

Sex is just a side effect of you being happy with who you are. When you are becoming more happy with yourself and start to enjoy your life, sex won't be such a big issue anymore. Personally I love to have sex, but I don't need it to be happy. When you realise this, you will notice girls will try to make you have sex with them, it's magical I swear to god.
 
Lexmark

Lexmark

Well-known member
Well last 6 months for me are empty in this diary
But most of them i was on meds with no sex drive
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
eR1k said:
Just don't forget to have fun along the way, if you're only goal is to lose your virginity you will get very frustrated when it isn't going the way you planned. And thats bound to happen, there are always a few roadblocks along the way.

Your goal was the same as mine, I lost my virginity 3 months ago but it isn't that big a deal when I've come to think of it. Nothing major will change after you lose your virginity if your confidence doesn't come from within. If your source of confidence is external (sex) you will set yourself up for a system of punishment and reward. Your confidence stays high as long as you continu to have sex, but when you don't get it as often as you want your confidence will plummet.

Be confident because you choose to, because you want to put in the effort to succeed in life. Get a job because you want to learn something new, meet new interesting people. Get your license because you enjoy being independent and free to go where ever you like. Don't do it to impress a girl, do it because you want to treat yourself with respect because you find yourself worthy.

Sex is just a side effect of you being happy with who you are. When you are becoming more happy with yourself and start to enjoy your life, sex won't be such a big issue anymore. Personally I love to have sex, but I don't need it to be happy. When you realise this, you will notice girls will try to make you have sex with them, it's magical I swear to god.
Click to expand...

How did it finally happen? Did she initiate or did you?

Dude, I've been patiently waiting for years to finally get lucky; twiddling my thumbs like a nervous dork.
 
Coper

Coper

Active member
Thelema said:
This is going to be a journal of my journey to losing my virginity. Looking back, I've had the opportunity to, but because of my shyness, it didn't happen.

I'm almost 20 and it's getting ridiculous.

This isn't to say I'm downplaying relationships and finding that special someone, this is simply a declaration of a major motivating factor for me. If I find a special someone, all the better.

Whats the first step? Getting a job. I have one lined up, but it requires I get a car because its from 4 pm to 12 am and nobody is going to give me a ride that late. I still don't even have a license..so thats actually the first step. I'm going to get my learners permit as soon as possible and I'll have to drive my mom's car there and back.

Its sort of hard to go on a date without transportation
Click to expand...

This reminds me of my ongoing 'plan' to lose my virginity for the last 8 years or so. I've kept making other things higher priorities, like learning to drive, and moving out of my dad's house. Unfortunately it took me about 8 years to work up to these things (mostly because at the same time I was devoting even more energy to getting my education back on track, but still...). In hindsight, I think it would have been better if I had tried to meet girls concurrently with those other things, rather than waiting until I felt like I had all my shit together. I was ashamed of where my life was back in my early 20's, but I don't know that girls would have rejected me just because of that, and even if they did, at least I would have some experience talking to them. Right now I feel like I'm starting from square one, and even though I do have my shit pretty well together otherwise, it's still very scary to think about starting to date.
 
D

Dave_McFadden

Well-known member
Sounds like you have a plan. Did you mean you were going to keep a getting laid diary, or you're going to use this thread?

Let us know when you pick up a driver's manual for your state.

Thelema said:
This isn't to say I'm downplaying relationships and finding that special someone, this is simply a declaration of a major motivating factor for me. If I find a special someone, all the better.
Click to expand...

Well, if it takes you a while to succeed, at least you'll end up with a job, your license, and maybe your own car. I get the impression that you live at home, maybe soon you'll have your own place, which of course will greatly help your chances.

er1k said:
Your goal was the same as mine, I lost my virginity 3 months ago but it isn't that big a deal when I've come to think of it.
Click to expand...

Sex is like oxygen; it's not a big deal, unless you're not getting any.
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
Coper said:
Thelema said:
This is going to be a journal of my journey to losing my virginity. Looking back, I've had the opportunity to, but because of my shyness, it didn't happen.

I'm almost 20 and it's getting ridiculous.

This isn't to say I'm downplaying relationships and finding that special someone, this is simply a declaration of a major motivating factor for me. If I find a special someone, all the better.

Whats the first step? Getting a job. I have one lined up, but it requires I get a car because its from 4 pm to 12 am and nobody is going to give me a ride that late. I still don't even have a license..so thats actually the first step. I'm going to get my learners permit as soon as possible and I'll have to drive my mom's car there and back.

Its sort of hard to go on a date without transportation
Click to expand...

This reminds me of my ongoing 'plan' to lose my virginity for the last 8 years or so. I've kept making other things higher priorities, like learning to drive, and moving out of my dad's house. Unfortunately it took me about 8 years to work up to these things (mostly because at the same time I was devoting even more energy to getting my education back on track, but still...). In hindsight, I think it would have been better if I had tried to meet girls concurrently with those other things, rather than waiting until I felt like I had all my shit together. I was ashamed of where my life was back in my early 20's, but I don't know that girls would have rejected me just because of that, and even if they did, at least I would have some experience talking to them. Right now I feel like I'm starting from square one, and even though I do have my shit pretty well together otherwise, it's still very scary to think about starting to date.
Click to expand...

You're pretty much describing where I am right now. I've pretty much been sitting on my ass for years now and now it's all catching up with me.
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
Dave_McFadden said:
Sounds like you have a plan. Did you mean you were going to keep a getting laid diary, or you're going to use this thread?

Let us know when you pick up a driver's manual for your state.

Thelema said:
This isn't to say I'm downplaying relationships and finding that special someone, this is simply a declaration of a major motivating factor for me. If I find a special someone, all the better.
Click to expand...

Well, if it takes you a while to succeed, at least you'll end up with a job, your license, and maybe your own car. I get the impression that you live at home, maybe soon you'll have your own place, which of course will greatly help your chances.

er1k said:
Your goal was the same as mine, I lost my virginity 3 months ago but it isn't that big a deal when I've come to think of it.
Click to expand...

Sex is like oxygen; it's not a big deal, unless you're not getting any.
Click to expand...

I don't see getting laid as a stand alone thing...I see it as getting my whole life together and with that comes dating opportunities.

I workout 6 times a week, I'm 5' 10'' tall ( I used to think I was 6' 1''...nurse somehow got my height wrong and I've been making an ass of myself telling people I was 6' 1'' all these years) and pretty damn decent looking. I'm actually way ahead of a lot of guys on those things, but they get laid and I don't. What do they have that I don't? Their shit together and they're confident and not shy. If I start doing what I have to do, they'll be jealous of me getting all the girls and not the other way around
 
eR1k

eR1k

Active member
Thelema said:
How did it finally happen? Did she initiate or did you?

Dude, I've been patiently waiting for years to finally get lucky; twiddling my thumbs like a nervous dork.
Click to expand...

I initiated everything, I actually am getting pretty darn good at attracting women in bars if I say so myself. However my dating skills are not on par yet :p I had dates with about 10 different women during the last year, and some were totally uninteresting and even boring. That's the risk of picking up women in bars when they are high energy and drinking :p It's a numbers game when I come to think of it, all you need is one great woman you really like.

It's not a matter of getting lucky, it's a matter of skill and experience. When you got your act together, it all comes down to skill and experience. Everyone needs some luck, but it's nowhere near as important as skill.
Practise makes perfect ! 8)

To me it sounds like you are getting your act together. You are starting to look great (have you also upgraded your clothing style, grooming etc? 8) ). You are starting to feel confident about the way you look, new job, new car, making plans thats fantastic. The only difference between you and the other guys getting laid, is that they are actually out there meeting women. Get out there right away, don't wait for everything to fall in place. Make some cool friends, start talking with women and you will meet a foxy lady before you even know it :D
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
eR1k said:
Thelema said:
How did it finally happen? Did she initiate or did you?

Dude, I've been patiently waiting for years to finally get lucky; twiddling my thumbs like a nervous dork.
Click to expand...

I initiated everything, I actually am getting pretty darn good at attracting women in bars if I say so myself. However my dating skills are not on par yet :p I had dates with about 10 different women during the last year, and some were totally uninteresting and even boring. That's the risk of picking up women in bars when they are high energy and drinking :p It's a numbers game when I come to think of it, all you need is one great woman you really like.

It's not a matter of getting lucky, it's a matter of skill and experience. When you got your act together, it all comes down to skill and experience. Everyone needs some luck, but it's nowhere near as important as skill.
Practise makes perfect ! 8)

To me it sounds like you are getting your act together. You are starting to look great (have you also upgraded your clothing style, grooming etc? 8) ). You are starting to feel confident about the way you look, new job, new car, making plans thats fantastic. The only difference between you and the other guys getting laid, is that they are actually out there meeting women. Get out there right away, don't wait for everything to fall in place. Make some cool friends, start talking with women and you will meet a foxy lady before you even know it :D
Click to expand...


It sound like you're doing pretty good for yourself. Were you always so easy going with girls?
 
eR1k

eR1k

Active member
Actually I used to be shy and I would only talk to people I have known for my entire life. Then I decided to talk to people I did not know, especially old people at first they are really easy to talk to and non judgemental. One conversation a day, it felt good because I was working hard to improve myself.

Anyway the important thing I did was practising my conversational skills with anyone anywhere. Only AFTER I was improving my conversational skills talking to random people was I able to talk to girls without getting a blank mind or getting nervous. Think about it; It's much easier to talk to someone when you have no expectancy or no outcome in mind, than talking to a girl you are romantically interested in when your heart is racing. So I wasn't easy going with girls at first, it's a skill I had to learn the hard way.

I think it's key to not putting too much pressure on yourself, if you are not comfortable talking to random people, just being in their presence and even sitting on a bench when they walk by, will make you feel more comfortable. Try it, just go to a crowded place, take a seat, and relax.. You don't have to talk to anyone, just take a seat and enjoy looking at people. This way you will get used to being around unfamiliar people. Small steps :)
 
Thelema

Thelema

Well-known member
eR1k said:
Actually I used to be shy and I would only talk to people I have known for my entire life. Then I decided to talk to people I did not know, especially old people at first they are really easy to talk to and non judgemental. One conversation a day, it felt good because I was working hard to improve myself.

Anyway the important thing I did was practising my conversational skills with anyone anywhere. Only AFTER I was improving my conversational skills talking to random people was I able to talk to girls without getting a blank mind or getting nervous. Think about it; It's much easier to talk to someone when you have no expectancy or no outcome in mind, than talking to a girl you are romantically interested in when your heart is racing. So I wasn't easy going with girls at first, it's a skill I had to learn the hard way.

I think it's key to not putting too much pressure on yourself, if you are not comfortable talking to random people, just being in their presence and even sitting on a bench when they walk by, will make you feel more comfortable. Try it, just go to a crowded place, take a seat, and relax.. You don't have to talk to anyone, just take a seat and enjoy looking at people. This way you will get used to being around unfamiliar people. Small steps :)
Click to expand...

I really don't like talking to people I don't know. I always assume I'm going to come off as weird and our conversation will be about something so stupid an uninteresting that it isn't worth the energy.

How did you get up the nerve to start talking to random people?

There might be a girl that I may like. She's the oldest of 3 Hawaiian sisters that bowl in a Saturday morning league. I'll see if I can come up with a way to start talking with her and become comfortable around her so I can see if I like her. I'm not going to try and push myself too hard to talk to her...that always ends up with me doing nothing and then beating myself up for it later on
 
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