chris11
Well-known member
Yep. I graduated with very high standing as an undergraduate in a subject I love, so I decided to continue on and get a masters degree with the intention of getting a phd afterwards. Of course, this was while I was experiencing a resurgence of my old friend depression, and my long standing compatriot anxiety.
I arrive on my new campus, and attend the mandatory orientation. I'm nervous as hell, and I think. Okay this is fine, you should expect to be nervous for the next few days. You're clearly bright enough to be here, and you have dealt with worse anxiety.
Of course, the anxiety doesn't go away, and it just builds and builds. Eventually I also start experiencing depression, and I don't want to get out of my bed to go to classes. I.start drinking more beer, and continue to get worse.
Done my first semester. Now the second one starts up. I can so anxious that I decide to try to kill myself. I drink a litre of vodka, and swallow 90x the dose of a medication that one really shouldn't take with alcohol. I panic shortly after, get my phone out to call 911. Then I pass out. I wake up between 18 and 22 hours later to discover that I've completely trashed the place, apparently dumping bottles of sauce on the floor and leaving a piece of meat in a frying pan for over 15 hours on high heat, cooking in an enormous amount of different kinds of sauce.
Now, one month after that, I'm still depresed and wanting to die most days. In 22 days, I'll only have one semester left of my masters, and it will be a much lighter semester. I've decided not to go to a phd program as I don't want my health to get even worse. It's even possible that The pills ****ed my liver and that I'll die of liver failure in a couple of years.
I'm going to graduate and feel like a complete failure. Moreover, I'll likly be unable to get any decent job. Regardless, I'll be back home and be able to see people I really care about. Hopefully things will get better then
I was worried about this happening before coming here, but thought I could manage. I could have died a month ago as a result
I arrive on my new campus, and attend the mandatory orientation. I'm nervous as hell, and I think. Okay this is fine, you should expect to be nervous for the next few days. You're clearly bright enough to be here, and you have dealt with worse anxiety.
Of course, the anxiety doesn't go away, and it just builds and builds. Eventually I also start experiencing depression, and I don't want to get out of my bed to go to classes. I.start drinking more beer, and continue to get worse.
Done my first semester. Now the second one starts up. I can so anxious that I decide to try to kill myself. I drink a litre of vodka, and swallow 90x the dose of a medication that one really shouldn't take with alcohol. I panic shortly after, get my phone out to call 911. Then I pass out. I wake up between 18 and 22 hours later to discover that I've completely trashed the place, apparently dumping bottles of sauce on the floor and leaving a piece of meat in a frying pan for over 15 hours on high heat, cooking in an enormous amount of different kinds of sauce.
Now, one month after that, I'm still depresed and wanting to die most days. In 22 days, I'll only have one semester left of my masters, and it will be a much lighter semester. I've decided not to go to a phd program as I don't want my health to get even worse. It's even possible that The pills ****ed my liver and that I'll die of liver failure in a couple of years.
I'm going to graduate and feel like a complete failure. Moreover, I'll likly be unable to get any decent job. Regardless, I'll be back home and be able to see people I really care about. Hopefully things will get better then
I was worried about this happening before coming here, but thought I could manage. I could have died a month ago as a result
