Gambling and SA

[doubtmyself]

Any gamblers out there?
I used to spend all day every day in casinos playing slot machines. It filled the void of loneliness, of not being able to connect with my fellow humans.( I had a partner but we were having a trial separation at the time.)
I hated my fear of meeting people and talking to them. It was much more tempting to heed the call of those damnable machines! Like a mating call. I was hooked, hypnotised, seduced, bedazzled by those things. I wasn't faithful to just one machine either. I was tricked by all of them! The fantasy windfall is just aroiund the corner. Plus then I could smoke and drink whilst playing. Triple addiction!
I loved it at the time. The times flew. I would extract more money out of the bank until I was skint. It took me a long time to finally wake up.

 

[MikeyC]

My mother has/had a gambling problem, also with those slot machines (called poker machines or "pokies" in Australia). It was close to ripping our family apart and she refused to get help, so your predicament hits quite close to home for me.

I think my mum was just bored and maybe she was a little bit lonely when dad was at work so it was difficult for her to cope. I don't really know the reason. I hated it and thinking about it makes me upset because it took up a whole lot of my childhood.

At least you woke up to your problem. Would you say you're free from the grasp or is there more to go?

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I am not a gambler, but I can see how it can become an addiction and a big problem. How are you doing with it now?

 

[doubtmyself]

I am not a gambler, but I can see how it can become an addiction and a big problem. How are you doing with it now?

I stopped. I had to. My partner gave me an ultimatum and I didn't want to lose her. Still drink but getting old so don't even do much of that now.

 

[doubtmyself]

My mother has/had a gambling problem, also with those slot machines (called poker machines or "pokies" in Australia). It was close to ripping our family apart and she refused to get help, so your predicament hits quite close to home for me.

I think my mum was just bored and maybe she was a little bit lonely when dad was at work so it was difficult for her to cope. I don't really know the reason. I hated it and thinking about it makes me upset because it took up a whole lot of my childhood.

At least you woke up to your problem. Would you say you're free from the grasp or is there more to go?

Yeah I'm defintely free of gambling.
Overeating is my new addiction I guess. Seems like I always need some kind of addiction, doesn't it.::

 

[MikeyC]

Yeah I'm defintely free of gambling.
Overeating is my new addiction I guess. Seems like I always need some kind of addiction, doesn't it.::

Well, you're probably compensating. As long as that doesn't turn into a huge problem like the gambling did, it's really not an issue.

 

[doubtmyself]

Oh I have to add Internet addiction now too!::

 

[doubtmyself]

Getting back to the main point of this thread. I'd like to explore the relationship between SA and gambling.
Are problem gamblers often people who have difficulty relating/connecting with others? Are there many SA types who gamble?
For me gambling filled a real void. I was so lonely I didn't realise I was lonely. A real outsider. I preferred to be a spectator of life. Getting close to people often resulted in me being teased /exposed for my weaknesses. Such as lack of fashion sense. Poor conversation skills with girls/women. Naivity. Not being able to assert myself. Afraid of showing anger. Not getting my needs met in a realtionship.Oversensitive. Not being able to roll with the punches.

Gambling/slot machines. No teasing. No rejection. No thinking/mulling over my problems. I guess it was just total escape from my stressed out mind. Those little tunes when I received a small win, were like a drug to ease the pain of life.

 

[OceanMist]

I'm a gambler but I've found a way to manage my gambling money. I only do small amounts that I can afford now. I used to have a bad problem by betting too much.

 

[doubtmyself]

oceanmist

small amounts......I bet in small amounts too...the problem was I gambled frequently....creating an illusion..."oh Im only betting small here"

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Getting back to the main point of this thread. I'd like to explore the relationship between SA and gambling.
Are problem gamblers often people who have difficulty relating/connecting with others? Are there many SA types who gamble?

Pathological gambling is an impulse control disorder, part of the OCD family of disorders. Many here suffer from OCD and its related disorders. It is not surprising that someone who suffers from one of these is generally an anxious person. It all feeds each other. I developed OCD when I was 8 years old. The OCD eventually brought on depression and social phobia. These usually tend to go together...like a package.

My sister was developing a gambling problem. When she finally confided in me, she expressed how ashamed she was by the whole thing, but that it a great stress reliever for her. Slot machine casinos are a couple hours away from where we live, so she would enjoy the drive there and getting little treats at the casino...the whole ritual of it. When she would win, it gave her a high. Like you said, it was an escape from her problems. She doesn't have social anxiety, though she is prone to bouts of depression.

Overeating is my new addiction I guess. Seems like I always need some kind of addiction, doesn't it.::

I know what you mean. I know I have an addictive personality; that is why I stay away from drugs and alcohol for example, as I don't need to add a substance abuse problem to my list of issues. But sometimes I do binge. Why can't I just be addicted to like exercising or something? Well, I shouldn't say that 'cause there is such a disorder.

 

[doubtmyself]

Pathological gambling is an impulse control disorder, part of the OCD family of disorders. Many here suffer from OCD and its related disorders. It is not surprising that someone who suffers from one of these is generally an anxious person. It all feeds each other. I developed OCD when I was 8 years old. The OCD eventually brought on depression and social phobia. These usually tend to go together...like a package.

My sister was developing a gambling problem. When she finally confided in me, she expressed how ashamed she was by the whole thing, but that it a great stress reliever for her. Slot machine casinos are a couple hours away from where we live, so she would enjoy the drive there and getting little treats at the casino...the whole ritual of it. When she would win, it gave her a high. Like you said, it was an escape from her problems. She doesn't have social anxiety, though she is prone to bouts of depression.


I know what you mean. I know I have an addictive personality; that is why I stay away from drugs and alcohol for example, as I don't need to add a substance abuse problem to my list of issues. But sometimes I do binge. Why can't I just be addicted to like exercising or something? Well, I shouldn't say that 'cause there is such a disorder.

Nice informative post razzle. thanks.
Maybe I have OCD too then.
It was definitely a ritual ..the whole process...before, during and after...
A lot of shame attached. That feeling of shame has helped stop me from getting addicted again.
I definitely have an addictive personality!!

 

[R3K]

i always wondered how i'd do at poker with SA...

everyone else is thinking: look at this guy, how nervous he is, he must have a crappy hand and is afraid of losing cause he only makes tiny bets. i'm going all in agaisnst him even though my hand is mediocre.

I'm thinking: oh crap is my aweseome hand good enough to win? if i bet a lot and lose i'll look like an idiot, i'll just bet a little bit.

 

[Nacho]

Any gamblers out there?
I used to spend all day every day in casinos playing slot machines. It filled the void of loneliness, of not being able to connect with my fellow humans.( I had a partner but we were having a trial separation at the time.)
I hated my fear of meeting people and talking to them. It was much more tempting to heed the call of those damnable machines! Like a mating call. I was hooked, hypnotised, seduced, bedazzled by those things. I wasn't faithful to just one machine either. I was tricked by all of them! The fantasy windfall is just aroiund the corner. Plus then I could smoke and drink whilst playing. Triple addiction!
I loved it at the time. The times flew. I would extract more money out of the bank until I was skint. It took me a long time to finally wake up.

Consider your casino days as a great lesson in life. I threw away more than $5000 some years ago (casino, online poker). Then I woke up, like you did

 

[OceanMist]

oceanmist

small amounts......I bet in small amounts too...the problem was I gambled frequently....creating an illusion..."oh Im only betting small here"

I should have explained better. I meant I do a small amount with a stopping point. Of course you can't get carried away and keep going once you've spent your limit.

You have to always be planning ahead, like if I lose this much, I'll stop here.

For instance, always take to the casino what you are planning on losing. A guy once said, "bet to lose," which means you only bet what you can lose.

The best way to know how much is too much is ask yourself, will this change my lifestyle financially? If it will, then stop immediately.

 

[OceanMist]

I think there is no question that my gambling has everything to do with my SA. It's an escape for me. I get this high that lets me forget about how I don't hang out with friends anymore, and I stop caring about anything social.

It's the same thing with drinking, it just helps me forget that I'm a loner that fails to connect with most people. Most people get enough out of the social high of connecting with people, but I almost never connect with people because of my SA, so I have to resort to drinking or gambling to feel good.

I feel I have it under control, so surprisingly to many people, I don't feel I have a problem. In fact, I believe drinking and gambling may be keeping me alive, believe it or not. If I didn't have those things, I'd slip into deeper depression and loneliness.

 

[justsomeguy]

For me gambling filled a real void. I was so lonely I didn't realise I was lonely. A real outsider. I preferred to be a spectator of life. Getting close to people often resulted in me being teased /exposed for my weaknesses. Such as lack of fashion sense. Poor conversation skills with girls/women. Naivity. Not being able to assert myself. Afraid of showing anger. Not getting my needs met in a realtionship.Oversensitive. Not being able to roll with the punches.


I feel like alot of these things describe me as well, including the gambling as being a filler for me. I've never been diagnosed with a mental disorder (outside of a misdiagnosis of autism when i was very young.. then again HFA wasn't a thing then) but it just seems like i feel empty and lonely almost all the time.

Addictions always seem to help fill that void for me. The thing itself used to change from time to time: alcohol, gambling, work, w/e, although lately its been just gambling, specifically poker and table games. It almost like it forces me and others to be in social interactions, i feel comfortable reaching out to people because were both sitting at the table.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Any gamblers out there?
I used to spend all day every day in casinos playing slot machines. It filled the void of loneliness, of not being able to connect with my fellow humans.( I had a partner but we were having a trial separation at the time.)
I hated my fear of meeting people and talking to them. It was much more tempting to heed the call of those damnable machines! Like a mating call. I was hooked, hypnotised, seduced, bedazzled by those things. I wasn't faithful to just one machine either. I was tricked by all of them! The fantasy windfall is just aroiund the corner. Plus then I could smoke and drink whilst playing. Triple addiction!
I loved it at the time. The times flew. I would extract more money out of the bank until I was skint. It took me a long time to finally wake up.

I worked as a cocktail waitress in a casino and I couldn't stand the smoke and the achoholics and watching the elderly put all there retirement into nickle machines, oh and the noise. I am happy you stopped in other words I only worked there 3 days LoL

 

[doubtmyself]

I think there is no question that my gambling has everything to do with my SA. It's an escape for me. I get this high that lets me forget about how I don't hang out with friends anymore, and I stop caring about anything social.

It's the same thing with drinking, it just helps me forget that I'm a loner that fails to connect with most people. Most people get enough out of the social high of connecting with people, but I almost never connect with people because of my SA, so I have to resort to drinking or gambling to feel good.

I feel I have it under control, so surprisingly to many people, I don't feel I have a problem. In fact, I believe drinking and gambling may be keeping me alive, believe it or not. If I didn't have those things, I'd slip into deeper depression and loneliness.

Wow. that's interesting. Gambling a lifesaver!!

 

[doubtmyself]

I worked as a cocktail waitress in a casino and I couldn't stand the smoke and the achoholics and watching the elderly put all there retirement into nickle machines, oh and the noise. I am happy you stopped in other words I only worked there 3 days LoL

Love that signature!!
I'm a non smoker now. Looking back, those places were like gas chambers!