Friends and Nasty Jokes

[Honda]

i got a friend of mine that jokes with me to the extent of pissing me off cuz im short tempered... I dont give it a big deal even though im pissed but cuz i know hes doing it to annoy me... The thing is if id pull the same thing on him he goes all crazy as if i offended his mom or some ****... I dont understand why would someone do such a joke and not take it easily from other people.. I feel like im being a bitch cuz im not stand up for his jokes while he gets insane when he hears mine and i get scared and confused and dont know how to answer back so i ignore which is the smart thing to do... I feel he knows i got this fear and he tries to mess with me about it.. even though hes not a bad person but i feel like im in a weak position when im with him... I dont find any word to describe it but cowardice... It looks funny cuz i try to grab my balls and face him while my face shows the fear i got inside of me.. This is silly and childish and i dont consider myself a man if im doing this..

 

[Satine]

Some people are just used to dealing with others harshly. He may not even be that conscious that he's doing it (or should I say why he's doing it). All he's really thinking, I'll guess, is that speaking to you the way he does sounds a bit shocking, a bit daring and makes him feel like he's living on the edge. He's not thought as far as how it might affect you personally and whether you actually want him to cut his teeth on you in such a way.

Responding with simple offense would probably only encourage him and he'd see evidence that he's having an effect. He'd probably again not realise that you'd be saying you wanted him to stop, so you're right to avoid that course of action.

You might want to consider giving him a well-placed reciprocal blow, just once, to make the point that you don't like it. If he complains... just point out that he's been doing that to you all along and you dislike it just as much as he does at that moment. Bide your time if you do that - don't be too quick to hit him back with the first thing that occurs to you. You'll dig up a better counterblow that way.

If he complains that he doesn't like your own jokes, then tell him tough. Why is it that important that he approves? He's the one who's chosen to hang around you, right? So if he doesn't like what you have to say, then tough. You're just speaking your mind. Honest, mate - get used to thinking that way and you'll find this kind of problem evaporates.

 

[hoddesdon]

Someone who exploits vulnerability is not a friend.

The reason why he can dish it out but not take it is because he is a coward. By doing it only when sure there is no danger he is lying to himself. Courage is silhouetted by danger. He gets angry when you return fire because you are shattering the illusion.

 

[Hellhound]

Are you sure he is your friend? Friends are not supposed to do that...

 

[Honda]

its been a while since i saw him... & i always keep caution if i ever see him nowadays.. I show weakness and thats my problem... I poked fun out of him once in a bar, he apparently got annoyed but stayed quiet... and later on i was going with friends to a trip to his town... He started poking real nasty **** about me, i stayed quiet cuz i didnt know how to answer back but later on i got pissed... I let it go, i managed to answer back a couple of times but he was running the game.. I was nervous and confused and felt like ****...
You know whats real pu**y. i was trying to talk to him 'indirectly' and hint for him to tell him to stop doing it cuz in the past when i asked a person to stop it; he made it worse and i didnt do any more about it..
I was riding in his car at that time and when we were alone in the car he was like: man f**k it cheer up, u know i was f**kin around.. You know what i was just like you, i used to be short tempered also and i was gonna beat up my friend for a joke once... and then he said jokingly: that was the revenge for **** @ the bar nite, u raped me big time there..
I notice that most of my life i hanged out with the wrong people that treated me like sh1t and were abusive and i believed this is how normal people are.. Also I look at other people and the reason they have the power i dont have i because they had friends next to them to keep them up.. I will eventually meet him again but wont interact too much with him... F**k him, next time i get the chance i will rape him good and hope i get lucky and push him to look stupid, he got a couple of friends that mess around but not in an offending way and i think i could play them around against him... Even if i get a punch in the face i will still rub it in his face... My other friend who was in the car told me to forget it and that you dont want it to get serious cuz it wasnt and he was messing wid u cuz ur short tempered..

 

[Hellhound]

Everyone have at least one weakness and that's normal. Even if you showed weakness, if he were a true friend he would not take advantage of that. He's obviously not a true friend and has some issues. Talking back, joking back it's a good idea. he needs to learn that you don't take **** from anyone.

 

[recluse]

People shouldn't dish out jokes if they can't take them themselves.

 

[Honda]

Im really stupid to let people like these cross the line with me... Especially being 22 years old and a big looking guy with a mature mentality... Im not a man if i let silly things like these scare me from standing up for myself, what did i leave for real problems, God forbid... This is silly and childish...
Im not a man to not be able to address the issue with that ba$tard and tell him how ****ed up that sh1t was, i had 2nd thoughts and that i was over reacting cuz other people wont get that offended or scared from such jokes but i find it difficult to accept...
I wouldn't want to hang out with such people for decency's sake and to avoid putting my self in **** and stupidity but the thing is i also let it slip and still see him on occasions... Im sh1t scared from these bullies even though i would've dealt with worse problems, this phobia is my biggest nightmare.... I'd rather runaway like a coward than stand up for myself and this isnt a funny thing anymore.. And the thing is these jokes are kind of fashionable nowadays..

The secretary in my office always tells me that i feel like you have a problem and you always look like you're thinking about something... is there anything wrong you could tell me? but screw her i aint telling her jack sh1t, i dont trust her that much..

I wana say something else even though its embarrassing and offending to me.. I wouldn't want to ever let anyone know about it... I was sometimes scared to date a girl cuz i was too scared id be too coward to defend her incase an a$$hole comes in the way.. There was this a$$hole that was messing with this girl and i was too scared to stand up for her and stop him cuz he was crossing the line...

 

[mrb]

the mans a twat mate iv worked with people like that , they can throw it but they cant take it .......and as far as you being scared your not a coward, lots of people dont like confrontation nothing wrong with that mate , but it might help if you took up some kind of sport ..... dunno karate lessons or something , they would soon shut up when you had a few karate belts under you , and your self confidence would go right up ...... i was bullied at school very badly , then took up weightlifting , im nothing like the person i used to be b4 ....... so go for it and good luck

 

[Honda]

^ Glad to hear your story... I will avoid getting too close to such stupid people & i guess i gave him more than he deserves... I feel like i try to convince myself its normal and that its just me that i cant take it cuz im short tempered... If i ever see him again then i should put limits for him i cant take the fact of constantly repeating the mistakes of the past.. Plus he is a friends with some of my other college friends so i will be hanging out next to him often and i should make a limit for him for decency's sake..