For Those of You Who Have Gone Through Heart Break.

[veggielover]

I'm driving myself crazy over this guy. I just need somewhere to post my feelings because I thought I was doing okay when I just burst into tears while I was cleaning my room. This guy and I were seeing each other for just about a month, maybe a little bit more. I know, it's such a short amount of time, but things were seriously going so great and it caught me completely by surprise when he told me that "he wasn't ready for a relationship"...he felt that what we had was becoming too much like a relationship and it made him think of his last relationship which implied that he was not over his ex-girlfriend. I'm stuck in this position where I was really falling for this guy and I thought things were heading in a completely different direction when he hit me with that news. I can't tell you what a downer that was on my self esteem and everything else in general. I just don't get it, I mean I do, but how could he not have enjoyed everything that we had? It was all going so well. I was really ready to move on from my past relationship...I wish he was too. I don't know what to do now. I can't wait forever, but I really want him to come around and realize that he had something good. I feel so down and depressed. It's such a horrible feeling. I can't even sleep at night. I want to know how he's feeling, but I feel like I need to give him his space and wait until he's ready to talk to me because I could easily just throw myself back at him. That's not what I want though, I want him to come to me.

Any advice?
Anyone gone through anything similar?
Any one on the guy's side have any advice?

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

When a person says that they're not ready for a relationship then they probably mean it. If I were you I wouldn't wait around for this guy to realize he's lost something good and come running back to you. All you can d now is give yourself time to heal. I know exactly how you feel and I'm really sorry.

 

[Feathers]

Awww ((hugs))

It will be terrible for a while and then you'll get over it..
It may help to write really BAD country songs, or repaint your room, or declutter (donate to charity!), or do something you always wanted to do, like jump off a plane (with parachute!!) or join a craftivism group...

I also recommend reading this book: The Rules - it was eye opening to me to see how many 'mistakes' I was doing (eg being too available or 'giving too much too soon' etc) It gives you a completely different mindset...

I'd also recommend reading Mars and Venus on a Date - this one talks about the different stages of dating.. Maybe you guys were in different stages, like he was in the attraction stage and you were further along.. It gives advice how to act on which stage.. Or just go to the library and see what books or films attract you, or seem to have wisdom in them..

You seemed weary and sceptical and not totally 100% with this guy, so possibly it's good riddance and you will find someone who will make you feel good about YOU and definitely appreciate you more!!

Other possible things to do: relocating, moving to another dorm and getting a whole new set of great friends! Studying something fun and interesting, taking a cool course you always wanted.. go volunteering, bury yourself into work (school/$$$ or both) read really bad literature or watch trashy films (Bridget Jones marathon or such? Though it can make you depressed, but cheerful too, maybe??)

Of course no relationship books or fairy-tales are perfect.. And you might wanna toss'em all and just have a ball doing the things you always wanted, or even some a bit scary ones to widen your comfort zone - and maybe there you'll find someone new and very cool - who has just been waiting for someone like you!!

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

Sorry this happened to you. It really sucks when someone breaks your heart.

But I would have to agree with Serafina. Don't waste your time waiting around for him. He isn't worth it. If he wanted to be in a relationship and with you, he would have stayed.

I am not trying to hurt your feelings more. It's just one of those things that happens.

You look pretty from your picture, and I am sure you are a great girl. Just forget about him and get ready for the next guy who is going to sweep you off your feet.

 

[veggielover]

I think the best thing to do is keep myself busy with friends and other things so that I'm not constantly thinking about him. It's really hard to think that things were seriously so perfect...and then out of nowhere he hit me with that news. I just don't quite get it, because we were both really involved and I never would have thought he would break things off. He had me over for dinner to meet his parents, I was meeting all his friends, he was meeting mine..we just did so much together and I was getting all used to having him around all the time..which is probably a bad thing, and it's probably good that this happened when it did as a wake up call and to hang out with my friends more. But it's just really hard when I'm sitting at home and there's nothing else to do, all I want is for him to text me and want to hang out. ugh. He texted me today seeing how I was doing...it really just messed with my head. I just hope this break doesn't last that long..I'm having a harder time than I thought I would getting over it. I appreciate all of the advice though. I have been working out more to get my mind off things and to just get up and do something. I need something more though.