firstTherapySession = worries

[IamThisOne]

Well tomorrow is my first session with my therapist. I am worried.

I know there is nothing to worry about because I went to therapy when I was 13. However, that was a long time ago.

I believe my therapist is the lady that asked diagnosed me when I went for my assessment. She is a young, pretty lady. I get the most nervous around pretty ladies.

All I can think about is what will she be thinking when I start talking to her. I mean she is probably like in her mid to late 20s and you know she can't help but think how pathetic I am. A 20 year old man complaining about life. What is more pathetic?

Another thing is that when I get real emotional and confessional, I start to like tear up and cry. :: Does anyone else do this?

Me crying just adds to my patheticness.

One minor thing that I am worrying about is if she asks, "How have you been". Well, I want to say "bad", but I have gotten so used to saying, "good" when people ask me that because there is always someone worse off than me. I hate that question - "How are you?, How have you been?".

Also, I don't know if we are going to talk about my social anxiety or my depression because I believe my depression stems from my social anxiety.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

Therapists are supposed to be sympathetic to most patients. They have do deal with a lot of stuff, rapes, child abuse, people who are grieving, depression etc. You'd probably be surprised at the number of young (and older) men that seek help for various issues that are going on in their lives.

Regarding the crying, that is often a good thing in therapy as it is a sign that you are opening up and prepared to let the feelings come to the surface. It is hard to let go of your past, when you bottle up your emotions.

Good luck in your therapy session, and I look forward to hearing about how you went.

 

[Feathers]

Heh you can just start (after initial introductions) by telling her what you told us here - that your SA is worst around attractive ladies like she is etc. She may be even flattered!

Do you know which approaches to therapy she does? (CBT or anything else?) There are lists on what to ask your potential therapists online..
You'll also see if you're a good fit with her or not.. Some people only find therapists they click with after a while..

And yeah, they're supposed to be used to crying etc. Crying can be good sometimes..
I cry all the time lol.. (It's only annoying in a work setting or such.. and even there you can ideally hide in a toilet or such) Just bring your own cloth hankies maybe? (I switched to these and like them much more than paper! much more eco too!)

If she asks, "How have you been" you can say, 'Hey that's a tricky question - do you want the real answer or what I tell everyone?'
Or you can tell her the good stuff and the bad stuff that happened since you last met - eg 'I was brave and met this cool girl while eating lunch, and I'd still like to be braver and more outspoken..' (This way you don't necessarily overwhelm her with negative feelings either.. Therapists are only human too, and if you just spill negative things on them it can be overwhelming too.. And you most likely had some good moments too!!)

Or: 'How are you?' - 'A little nervous right now but also excited about possibly getting better/interested in what we'd be doing'-? What do you think? Could you muster up something like that?

I think you can talk about both SA and d. and they may be related - you may also get SA because of d. (feeling 'not worthwhile' or such..) You may do exercises or explore thoughts paralelly, separately or together.. Or work first on what bothers you less, or more..

Remember some therapists may push people a bit too much, it's best to go with your own pace and tell when something is too fast or too uncomfortable, and do small steps if needed!!

If you can really feel too negative about something, you can try doing some EFT (emofree.com ) or TAT (tatlife.com ) or some CBT journalling later on or ahead of it.. It may help...

I really recommend reading The Feeling Good Handbook, especially if she does the CBT approach, as it's explained well in that book..