Finding someone

Smokeringz

Smokeringz

Well-known member
I belive I have concored most of my SA, but still for me finding someone seems like a challenge.
I hade made the dedication not to show interest in women until I got my act together, which is fair.
But now that its been a while I think I would like to find a girlfriend.
Advice?
What I need to know is this,
what do women like to be told?
would you rather be friends with a guy first?
How vain can the average woman be?
Would it be rude to ask a girl out to coffee just to get to know her?
 
3lefts

3lefts

Well-known member
You know, bowcy has some solid advice, just make sure that they are equally interested in you.
And going out for coffee is a great idea. Or just getting into conversations where ever you are, take it from there. Sorry I couldn't be too helpful.
But good luck, I'm sure you'll manage to do fine. Be confident :)
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
Women like restraint and feeling comfortable around a guy. That's why your idea of starting out non-threatening is good. You want to keep it that way until something develops naturally. Focus on getting to know her as a friend first and foremost, and if you're having a great time together she'll make it obvious that she wants more out of it. Leave your feelings out of the equation until you're quite a bit further down the road, because you want it to be reciprocal and not intimidating.

Be confident and easy going wherever possible and remember that it's also attractive if you take initiative and suggest something rather than both of you going "umm" every five minutes. Tell her what's going on instead of asking too much (it can make things seem like a boring tennis match), and smile often. If you can at least appear to be in control you're a long way to actually being it. That's why it's important you have your next move planned out a little. You have to kind of guide it in that direction, and over time you'll automatically sense how it's going. If it feels right and equal, it probably is, and if it's going well you won't even have to think about how to take it to the next level because that opportunity will come by itself.

Good luck. :)
 
joyce

joyce

Well-known member
well start as friends then slowly move on and see if you really like the person and I love being tould that i look good in my outfit
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
It's also important to know different woman want and like different things - you may want to ask yourself what kind of woman would you like and feel comfortable with?
What are the essential things, what is negotiable... And then not obsess too much about an 'ideal' but go out there and meet and get to know people.. In reality you can probably 'click' with a lot of people, then it's up to discovering who shares your values and ideas of what you'd like in life etc.
Good advice from others here...

Some women are more into looks than others, some like to hear they look good, some don't and may prefer to be appreciated for other reasons first... ShyKiwi already has a thread on this..
It may also depend on the age group somewhat...

Working on a project together or volunteering for a good cause can also help you get to know people well.. what is important to them etc. Some courses or classes can be good in that regard too, if there are discussions on interesting and important things.. You can see who shares your values or really-important-things..
 
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