Feeling paralyzed when out with friends.

[Tulicks]

Terrible title description, I know.

Alright, it's like this. Whenever I'm out with friends, just casually hanging out, watching Anime or whatever the case may be, I always feel paralyzed from within myself... (my inner self feels paralyzed.) I get really afraid and awkward to even make a sound. I can't clear my throat, cough, laugh at anything, say anything (note: if I do say something my voice comes out really weak and quiet.) I'm not always like this... it just happens to me whenever I'm out with friends or sometimes in a classroom setting.

Another thing that puzzles me about this is how no one else seems to notice how silent I am. Even if there's only two other people in the room with me. They just talk back and forth the whole night while I am left in my paralyzed-like state , and no one directs a question at me like, "Are you ok?" "Why are you so quiet?" etc.

My question is, why does this happen, and what could be causing this intense social awkwardness. Why can't I say anything or do anything without feeling like every eye is watching every move I make? Also, why is it that I can't speak a word, think of anything to say, or at least feel comfortable enough to make the slightest movement while in these environments?

 

[hidwell]

I used to feel just the same when I was in my late teens. Unfortunately it is classic social phobia symptoms, therapy and medication will help with your awkwardness. But there is no quick fix you will just have to be patient with your self, and allow the therapy and medication to ease your anxieties.

 

[MikeyC]

Pretty much what hidwell has said, it's classic SA right there. I don't feel paralyzed, but sometimes I'm quieter than everyone else.

 

[Dark angel]

You are not the only one who feels this way, I'm pretty much the same and it is definiely classic SA. Your friends won't ask you what's going on because basically, they do not understand what you are going through. They probably think that you are a quite person and that this trait, is part of your nature, so they look at it as normal. My friends do exactly the same, I barely talk when we are together, and they do not notice that paralyzed state I'm in. This gets intensified when I'm meeting new people.Unless they don't establish the conversation or make questions to me I stay quite the whole time and it makes me feel like i'm a robot.
I think that our fear to talk is because we are afraid of being judge.

 

[suhaila]

This has happened to me so many times. I still remember the very first time. I was with a few of my friends and we may or may hot have smoked some herbal substances (!) and I just felt paralyzed with anxiety and fear. This wasn't the first time that I smoked with these people, so I don't know what triggered it. After that day, I had numerous awkward social experiences where I just wanted to dig myself into the ground and be invisible...

I'm getting better gradually, and I guess growing up has a lot to do with it. I hope you feel well soon.

Don't worry, you will.

 

[mart22n]

Ask this question from the people you are hanging out with. Takes some balls, but definitely gives some insight. Would you give it a try?

 

[Little Miss Muffet]

Terrible title description, I know.

Alright, it's like this. Whenever I'm out with friends, just casually hanging out, watching Anime or whatever the case may be, I always feel paralyzed from within myself... (my inner self feels paralyzed.) I get really afraid and awkward to even make a sound. I can't clear my throat, cough, laugh at anything, say anything (note: if I do say something my voice comes out really weak and quiet.) I'm not always like this... it just happens to me whenever I'm out with friends or sometimes in a classroom setting.

Another thing that puzzles me about this is how no one else seems to notice how silent I am. Even if there's only two other people in the room with me. They just talk back and forth the whole night while I am left in my paralyzed-like state , and no one directs a question at me like, "Are you ok?" "Why are you so quiet?" etc.

My question is, why does this happen, and what could be causing this intense social awkwardness. Why can't I say anything or do anything without feeling like every eye is watching every move I make? Also, why is it that I can't speak a word, think of anything to say, or at least feel comfortable enough to make the slightest movement while in these environments?

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Is it because you feel like you have to talk - the pressure of this - that nothing will come out??

I personally dont socialise because I know I will HAVE to talk. I am really ok with people when I dont feel pressure to talk- then I really want to.

when spending time with your friends are you comparing yourself to them? Ive done this and thought of things to say and just not said it, and then some of them will say what i was going to, and i will think s--t it was ok to say that lol

 

[Tulicks]

Thanks for all your advice everyone. Yea it is definitely classical social anxiety at it's finest. I can't make heads or tails of what's going on with me, it's quite disturbing actually. I just feel unauthorized to speak my mind whenever I'm out in public places... it's a serious problem that I hope won't be in my life forever. Again, thanks for all the comments. Really appreciate all the support I can get, and I wish you guys all the best with your own sufferings with social anxiety.

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Is it because you feel like you have to talk - the pressure of this - that nothing will come out??

I personally dont socialise because I know I will HAVE to talk. I am really ok with people when I dont feel pressure to talk- then I really want to.

when spending time with your friends are you comparing yourself to them? Ive done this and thought of things to say and just not said it, and then some of them will say what i was going to, and i will think s--t it was ok to say that lol

I feel like I have to talk mainly because I'm the only one at that time who's not saying anything. The pressure is on me because I feel like I'm being way too quiet, and feel like I'm disrupting the atmosphere entirely.

That happens to me a lot where I want to say something but then I don't say it because I feel too anxious to talk and then someone else says what I was going to say and it makes me feel lousy that I didn't just speak up when I had the chance. My thoughts often feel suppressed because of the tension I feel inside of me due to my anxieties.

I don't talk because I don't want to talk though... I feel less comfortable around people who can't start conversations because then we just stand there in an awkward silence. I just can't seem to keep my end of the conversing going for anymore than a few minutes without drawing a complete blank.

Also I do compare myself with my friends a lot because they seem to be living more successful lives than myself. It's not that I wish I was them... I just wish I was more like them based on capability and success.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

You could try meditation? I just listen to the music sometimes.