Feeling disgusted by myself.

[Falkor]

Hi,

I don't know how I could give this a better title, but I really have a serious problem. When I look in the mirror, I am dissapointed. I don't like my appearance,
While my invirement tells me I look fine, I totally cannot believe it.
I don't like to start ranting about my looks, but I just don't like my face.
I wish I could look at myself like other people Do. But still i'm afraid
when they'll see me they look at me like i'm the most ugly person alive.
I think I seriously deal with BDD. Because I am obsessed about my looks.
And I feel too ugly to live....
And people tell me I look good, but I'm not kidding that I feel this way, I feel horrible.


XX Flowergirlie

 

[BlackPuma]

Aw, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Flower. I think we're all a little bit more critical about ourselves then others are of us, it's only natural. Let me just say, by looking at your photo's, I can't really see where it's coming from. You have a very good looking face, probably one of the nicer ones I've seen around, actually. And besides, you've got such a lovely personality to compensate for potential flaws you might have. Which, may I add, I have yet to discover.

I'm sorry you feel this way, Flower.. And I can only assume that my opinion isn't going to change your own opinion much, and that's okay too. Words don't help much, you'll have to realize for yourself that you're in fact a beautiful person. Physically, and mentally. And I hope, and am sure, you will, over time.

Hang in there. :3

 

[kihira]

The mirror is a liar. It has to be, otherwise people would watch themselves all day.

What do you see when you watch your youtube clips? Do you feel the same?

I can echo blackpuma's comments and say that, from your clips and posts, you shine with beauty in your looks and personality

 

[Feathers]

Yup, I agree, you shine with beauty in your looks and personality.

It does sound a bit like BDD. Take a look at any helpful articles or books about it. There's a good one on Amazon, gives exercises and to put it into a pie chart - the looks and personality and what other people like about you.. outside beauty may be just a tiny part of who you really are and what people like about you.. It's 'the whole package' and that is much MORE than just looks OR 'personality'...

That said, people have 'good days' and 'bad days' too, even those without SA or other problems..
Sometimes feeling bad about something, or some problems that seem unsolved or difficult to solve (or weather or nutrition or 'that time of month', hormones or whatever) can affect our mood and this can affect how we see ourselves too..
For example, I have sometimes been angry at myself for not doing certain things etc, and it might translate into not liking myself physically too, though I'm working on this these days...

So even if you see yourself as 'nothing special' others can see you in a totally different way... And accept you even if you don't accept yourself..

We women are soo totally pressured to be 'beautiful', and fashion changes every year.. For some, it may be best to stay away from fashion magazines or such.. OR sometimes you can see other people that look like you are 'in' and it can help.. It depends..

Does this have anything to do with this girl you talked about yesterday? Sometimes, especially in initial stages or such, one may find many faults with oneself and thinks 'But what would they want to do with me' or such.. Or there may be some guilt in other ways involved.. Difficult to say from afar..
Maybe just accept you might have a 'bad day' and hope next day will be better?

(Or go research BDD and books on Amazon, like I did a while ago, and learnt a lot! )

 

[Gerdje]

Yes,

I watched your youtube clips, and you talking about your phobia, and
I really say what other people here say, although you may feel far from good inside, you look pretty much what every boy or girl would dream of having around and shine with someone as beautiful as you.
I'm a bit older myself, but If I would be of your age, and not have problems
getting to know people, and not having anxiety being around others, and you wouldn't prefer girls , I would go for you, that's for sure !!!! ::

I have one "troef in english" : I speak dutch too ::

but I understand, we have so much negative thoughts and "ideas" that we also see our outside as "never good enough for the other" , even when EVERYONE says just the opposite.

So what can I say, even if you believe me or not, is that you look gorgeous

 

[SPV]

I know pretty much what you mean. A lot of the times I get compliments from people on the way I look, I even had a girl once call me cute. However, in spite of all that, I thought the opposite which I know isn't a healthy thing to be doing, but I just can't help thinking that I'm ugly.
I become very critical when it comes down to my looks, just because I'm a few pounds bigger. I keep thinking to myself, oh god, I have double chins, my forehead is too high, my arms are too flabby, my tummy is too doughy, when in reality these thoughts are way too exaggerated.

I can tell you for sure flowerie you ARE very pretty, whether you like it or not. I'm sorry you might not be able to process that instantly, but I'm telling you, don't waste your time worrying about it because there is absolutely NOTHING to worry about.

Let me tell you this, I had a party once, which was recorded on camera. I was there all the time feeling camera shy and thinking to myself oh god I'm gonna look ugly only to find out that after the party, when we viewed the movie, I looked at myself and thought, gosh I don't look bad at all as I thought. I then felt really sorry not having enjoyed the party as much as I should have.

So take my word flowerie. You're pretty, any guy\girl would be really lucky to have you. feeling self conscious in public would be superfluous and unnecessary.
If you want me to be honest, really, sometimes I do get jealous about the way you look.
So please, don't waste your time, your young, you're supposed to be enjoying yourself right now.

 

[Waybuloo]

I have BDD too which has become less severe now. Don't base your self worth so much on your looks, that helps, and think about other things to do and learn, and don't look at the mirror unless necessary. When you do think about your appearance do your hair and makeup to accentuate your best features instead of trying to hide. I've seen your pic you have beautiful eyes and a lovely smile. Smile more and that makes you even more beautiful and attract positive emotions from people.

You are feeling inadequate in your looks because you think people judge your worth based on how you look. That is true to an extent, for example when men (superficial ones) eye up a potential partner, but most people don't even focus on how you look for long. And your personality and the things you say actually alter how people perceive you.

 

[Falkor]

Wow thank you all so much, you guys are so nice, i just love this place
because people are so understandable and they ACCEPT you the way YOU ARE!
I wanna thank you all and give you all a big hug.. *bhug!!*
I will find a nice book in the amazon library thank you Feathers, and yes this company is full about being beautiful, i wish it could be a little different, but thats life!, and SPV i have the same with cameras, when someone else films me, because when i do it myself i can also re-cord it and i can edit it haha.
I wanna thank you all for the nice words, i really think you guys are really nice.
en gerdje jij ook bedankt!!! he !! leuk om iemand te zien hier die ook nederlands spreekt!!
thank you all!!

xx