Feeling depressed and need someone to talk to

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

For the past year or so, my boyfriend and I have been doing nothing but arguing... we can hardly have a conversation together without it turning in to a fight. I have tried to talk to him about it but he just blows me of every.single.time. I think he is falling out of love and and I worry I am too. The worst thing is we have a son together who is turning 2 in November... I am in a relationship yet I feel so lonely and distant from him...
Even if I did want to give up on our relationship, I couldn't leave because I cant do it alone finalcially yet.

I am a high school dropout which I am trying to change but my dyscalculia is making it hard to pass the test. I want to get a college education but I fear my learning disability will hold me back.

I fear that if my boyfriend and I do breakup, I will be single forever because nobody wants to date a woman with a child.

I honestly just feel like ****. I feel ugly and worthless.... I am tired of feeling like this but I don't know what to do... I tried turning to god but I have lost my faith in him since I lost my mom to alcoholism last year... which brings me to another thing... I have no family that I am close to... My mom died from alcohol last year and my father is an alcoholic too. So is my brother. My moms side of the family is across the country and I did not grow up with them... I'm not close with my dads side of the family either...

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Well, for starters, you're not ugly or worthless. And just because you have a child doesn't make you unattractive to males anymore. There are plenty of men out there who would date you.

But, and I probably shouldn't be advising you because I don't have much experience in dating, what do you mean by "he blows you off"? Has anything happened in the past year to make him like this?

But, if things start to get worse, you should look into shelters or organizations nearby for single mothers.

 

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

Well, for starters, you're not ugly or worthless. And just because you have a child doesn't make you unattractive to males anymore. There are plenty of men out there who would date you.

But, and I probably shouldn't be advising you because I don't have much experience in dating, what do you mean by "he blows you off"? Has anything happened in the past year to make him like this?

But, if things start to get worse, you should look into shelters or organizations nearby for single mothers.

I mean she. I try to discuss whatis wrong in our relationship, he insists nothing is wrong when something so obviously is. He is not abusive towards me or my son... is is just angry... angry at the world.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I mean she. I try to discuss whatis wrong in our relationship, he insists nothing is wrong when something so obviously is. He is not abusive towards me or my son... is is just angry... angry at the world.

When you two argue, do you raise your voice along with his or do you remain calm? Something big must have happened to him for him to have this drastic a change in personality.

 

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

When you two argue, do you raise your voice along with his or do you remain calm? Something big must have happened to him for him to have this drastic a change in personality.

I try. But usually I get so frustrated we end up screaming and cussing at each other. Sometimes he does say things that he knows will get a reaction out of me.
One time we were sitting watching t.v and there was a video of a girl getting a piercing. I meantioned I wanted something like it and he yelled at me to shut up and lose weight first.

 

[MikeyC]

One time we were sitting watching t.v and there was a video of a girl getting a piercing. I meantioned I wanted something like it and he yelled at me to shut up and lose weight first.

That's nasty. I'm sorry he said that.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

I try. But usually I get so frustrated we end up screaming and cussing at each other. Sometimes he does say things that he knows will get a reaction out of me.
One time we were sitting watching t.v and there was a video of a girl getting a piercing. I meantioned I wanted something like it and he yelled at me to shut up and lose weight first.

Know that screaming and yelling will only serve to agitate him. If you keep calm, chances are, he will calm down too. In anger, you listen to yourselves and not each other. Take a moment to see things from his perspective and listen to his side of the story and he should reciprocate.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

It is really difficult to maintain a relationship with someone whom you've been with since childhood-- and I count being teenagers as childhood.
I know, because I was with my boyfriend from a very young age; for almost 8 years.

You grow and you change; and often the growing doesn't happen together or in the same direction.
I can only imagine that it would magnify after giving birth to a child, as well.
You are a mother now- an adult.
Just because he is a father, doesn't mean his mentality has grown into one of a father, though.
He didn't carry, feed and grow a child inside of his body for 9 months.

It will be difficult to keep things together but it sounds like you're not in the place where you can sit and talk calmly if you're yelling constantly.
Some space and therapy could help but you still have alot of work ahead of you, unfortunately.


I can speak as a college dropout with moderate to severe dyscalculia and dyslexia that it's possible to train yourself and manage.
I entered college at the top of my class; the only reason I had to drop out was because I didn't have the money to continue paying the bills AND going to class.
You need focus and that will be hard to get with a relationship on the rocks and a young child.
So, I think that needs to be the first point in your life action plan: finding a balance.

I think a counselor (career or life) will be able to help you figure out the steps you need to take to getting your life under control.
You are young and as long as you can keep a fire lit under your ass-- I think you can make it work.

 

[SHYoreoCOOKIE4U]

I think getting with him so young is playing a part in it. I was 17 and he was 23. He says its money that is stressing him out but I know even if we did have more money he would still be te same way. The problem is that he is caught in his own world of depression and darkness.