Facebook

[tom123]

Hi, my name is Tom and I am new to this forum. I am a college student who has been suffering through social anxiety for quite some time now. One thing that has been bothering me lately was the fact that I don't have a Facebook because pretty much all the people I meet at my school has one. And when they ask me if I have a Facebook, and I say no, they automatically think that I am weird.

The reason why I don't have one is because I don't really have a lot of friends - maybe one or two at most, but I don't really hang out with them often. I'm afraid that if I do create one, people will see my short friends list and judge me. I know there is a feature that can make your friends' list private, but that to me makes it even more conspicuous for people to know that I have little to no friends. There are also people that I've met in classes in previous years that I haven't talked to since, and I'm afraid that if I do add them as 'facebook friends' it would be weird.

I do want to create a Facebook page, but because of these fears, I just haven't had the courage to do so. It makes me wonder if not having a Facebook is also making it more difficult for me to make new friends. It's not considered normal for college students in their 20's to not have a Facebook.

Well, I just wanted to voice this out. My lack of friends just makes me sad and depressed at times.

 

[vse2008]

Hey, Tom. Thanks for sharing. I used to live in Upstate NY (a relative location) and had a ton of friends. I moved to Arizona about ten years ago and I just can't seem to make any close friends. I wonder if some of it is all this social networking going on nowadays.

I don't think you're weird for not having a Facebook account. I didn't have one because of security concerns, but then it seemed the only way I could keep up with my two grown boys was to get an account. They have time to post on Facebook but no time to email their dad, right?

Anyway, you might want to give Facebook a chance because you might meet other people with similar interests, and it's cool to see what other people post. George Takei especially posts some cool stuff. People on Facebook don't always pay a lot of attention to how many friends other people have -they are mostly interested in sharing and venting.

Just be careful about how much personal info you give out. Facebook is not the most reliable when it comes to security.

You can give it a try. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to. See if you like it. It will help you feel like you are a part of something. Search for your interests and "Like" them.

 

[Hoppy]

Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to use it every day.

I make a deliberate effort to post something at least once a month, and then I skip some.

 

[da_illest101]

After 6 years I have about 60 people on it when everyone else has 150 minimum. I don't post anything, I barely chat on it as well. I only have facebook because my classmates keep bothering me about it, yet we never talk outside of school. As you can see the social aspect of my facebook is a graveyard. I have been thinking on deactivating it, but what's the point.

So if you don't need it, don't get it, don't fail for social pressure like I did

 

[coyote]

i'm on Facebook - lots of people i know are on Facebook

as far as i know, none of them judge anyone else for the number of friends they have - or even care

not that there might not be people out there who do that

but if there were, i probably woudn't have them as Facebook friends in the first place

 

[da_illest101]

I got to admit, no one ever asked me why I got so little amount of friends, I guess no one care.

Also I just went on facebook and got slap in the face with the cold reality that everyone has friends and have fun while I stay alone in my corner being miserable

 

[JuiceB]

Tom I don't have a Facebook page either. I can't rationalize my fears for not having one like you can. Is it because Facebook requires a face? I don't know. I don't want pics of me floating around on the internet, I'd snap.

 

[MikeyC]

If someone judged you for the amount of Facebook friends you had, then they're not worth having as friends on there.

Facebook is also not for everyone.

 

[Foxface]

Anyone who judges you is not worth your time.

 

[Daniel089]

I have a facebook page and I have no real life friends at all who I hang out with. Like 95% of my FB "friends" consist of 4 type of people:
People I know from elementary school, high school, uni, and relatives & few of their friends.
I try to act natural, like I'm one of "them". I don't tell anyone that I'm such an introvert person. But I know one thing, if you decide to get a fb page, do it for yourself, for your life, not because your jealous of others.
Facebook is mostly for contacting friends, not to get to know friends, just keep in mind. Besides you can contact your real friends in a dozen other ways too...
I find it sad that today android cellphones take over peoples social life; talking face-to-face with somebody seems to go out of fashion...

 

[InvisaLady]

I don't have a FB account, not cause I'm afraid but cause I don't see any point to it. I don't like to read nonsense from people I don't know and I would never have anything of interest to post.

 

[wariomona]

If you're concerned about privacy and that aren't there plenty of options to remove stuff from public? You could also just make an account with fake details.
I think it's at least handy to have a facebook account. A lot of companies interact with fans that way and I've used it for some group assignments for uni. I'd never use it to talk about my life though!!

But I hate it how even though I never upload photos of me, other people still link photos to my account... Although I think the only one still there is when someone took it of me asleep...

 

[9407]

I created a face book a year and a half ago but I don't use it and have no friends on it. Why bother? The only real friend I have doesn't have a computer and rarely goes on his Facebook and the other guy that's sort of my friend doesn't have a computer and hasn't logged on his Facebook in over 3 years. I also have no interest in talking to my old classmates and school acquaintances.

 

[Niiña]

what coincidence. Exactly the same thing happens to me. I just have 113 friends, mi fb wall is almost empty because just a friend write in my fb wall but she doesn't know about my social anxietyI hade to create an facebook acount just because it was necesary, but due my few friends at faceebook I was shamed about it so I started to send a lot friendship requests to people that I know, no matter if they aren't talk to me very well the objective was fill the facebook just for no appear a big social looser. I don't know, facebook creates bad fame about me show to the world my poor social life. Maybe in a future I will close it. It is regrettable. If you don' t have a great need to create an account do not do it, it's most preferably that they are in doubt if you have a poor social life or not, instead that they confirm that you do not have a great social life.

 

[Chloegirl]

Hi Tom. I avoided Facebook for years because I'm not super social and assumed everyone on it is. I also had the false impression that it was for people desperate to communicate with others because they are unable to function independently. I finally joined in January 2012 initially for business purposes, but I am really enjoying it now. It took time to get comfortable with it (and I have not even done anything with the business aspect yet) and I am not on every day, but when I do go on I usually find that I feel glad that I did. I'm cautious about who I am friends with and choose not to have an enormous list of friends. Your list will probably build faster than you would think. However, even with just a few friends, FB can be so much fun. I enjoy the funny posts and pictures people put on. Some posts I pass over and some I respond too. Like others have said, do it for yourself and not out of pressure. You can always deactivate it if it's not for you or you can just check in once in awhile. I am very independent, but I can now also truly appreciate and enjoy feeling like part of a unique social community. I hope this helps.

 

[paperie]

I don't think most people would really pay attention to how many friends you have on facebook. I like to keep my list moderately short. I will notice though when someone has like 600+ friends, it's obvious they just add any and everyone they come in contact with. The only thing I really hate about facebook is that I look at other people's pics and statuses about all the cool things they're doing and then I get depressed that I'm so boring haha. I only keep my page so I can stay in touch with old friends.

 

[Qurion2]

http://www.facebook.com/mirrei

i use facebook now only for the small little game apps, friends usually ignore me or my whining... or when i have thoughts i want to share, i removed everybody i dont know and the number of people on it reduced from 150+ to 37

you dont really need facebook actually, if you study thou it might be usefull to get it temporarely, its not a that big fuss to make an account

lastly, what i did notice is, do you know as what facebook is known? as the social community with 100000000 friends of which you only really know 5....

http://www.facebook.com/justin.y.wei a friend of mine.... he has 362 friends on facebook, he might only really know 30-50 of them due to school/study

and i can also add you as a friend if you want :3

I don't have a FB account, not cause I'm afraid but cause I don't see any point to it. I don't like to read nonsense from people I don't know and I would never have anything of interest to post.

its simple... remove them, i had some dude that did that too much, almost every post came from him, then i asked him politely to stop spamming his feed, he replied very rude, i blocked him ; problem resolved

 

[KiaKaha]

I was having an argument with someone regarding my disdain and dissatisfaction about the current leader of my country - she said that my comments were remarkably stupid and that it was "no wonder I only have 30 friends on facebook"

Class lady. You don't know what you are talking about. I just dont dig right wing beliefs - its how I rolllll....my apparent online unpopularity has nothing to do with it.

Besides - I only add people that I have actually met. I dont use it to post every nuance of my existence on it.

 

[Qurion2]

I was having an argument with someone regarding my disdain and dissatisfaction about the current leader of my country - she said that my comments were remarkably stupid and that it was "no wonder I only have 30 friends on facebook"

Class lady. You don't know what you are talking about. I just dont dig right wing beliefs - its how I rolllll....my apparent online unpopularity has nothing to do with it.

Besides - I only add people that I have actually met. I dont use it to post every nuance of my existence on it.

i was member of a political faction, or still am a member of one, iam not going there becouse of sp, why? i am too smart for my own good, i once wrote a complete honest opinion about hitler.... he might have been brutal and his methods were extreme.... but he still was capable of bringing a country from one of the poorest to one of the richest countries, which i respect, becouse there arent many leader which would be capable of doing such.... netherless this message came wrong to them, then i commented a few and they said i take a few things too personal.... and i was like wtf :/ politics needs to be taken serious/personal, but it might be that i misunderstood something... netherless, i wont go there ever again. apparently this human world isnt ready for honesty....
also i hate the jewish gouvernent.... they are bringing west and asia to the brink of war :/ if i were to lead this country i would tell them to stfu and stop demanding weapons from us just becouse of something that happened in the past, we live now, not in the past. Just nobody cares

 

[KiaKaha]

^^^ I have zero respect or admiration for the likes of Hitler or any other despots. I dont care about any of their so called "achievements." Humanity comes first...always.

And that is all I have to say on this matter.