Explaining my SA to my boyfriend

[punklove]

Don't get me wrong my boyfriend's absolutely amazing. I love him so much. It's just sometimes it can be difficult for me to explain to him certain things like why I don't want to eat infront of him or go outside with him. He wants to take me out to the movies and stuff and I know that eventually he will want me to meet his parents. I'm scared though. I just don't feel comfortable at all with that and I don't know if I ever will feel comfortable. I just really wish there was some kind of way that I could show him exactly how I feel. I've sent him youtube videos and articles about social anxiety disorder but I just don't think he fully understands.. and maybe he never will. It sucks though because a part of me just wants to be a normal girlfriend because I never want to lose him. He's the only boyfriend I've ever had who completley accepts me for who I am, I just wish he could understand how I feel. Maybe I'm just hoping for too much. Does anyone else have a girlfriend/boyfriend that there having the same problem with? How do you deal with it?

 

[awkwardamanda]

Perhaps you need to explain it to him face to face. I'm sure the articles and videos can be helpful too, but he probably needs to hear it from you if he's going to take it seriously.

 

[WhatTheF]

Personally, when I talked to my girlfriend about it I did it in the dark at night. I still had a problem verbalizing some of the things, but not having to look her in the face while I did it definitely made it possible for me to talk about it and I don't know if I could have done it other wise.

 

[Falkor]

I understand how that feels, meeting parents, eating in front of your boyfriend, the feeling that you wanna be heard about social anxiety..

You should do it step by step, and maybe it will go great? you never know!
I know how it feels to be so uncomfortable, i have exactly the same problem around people, And I wish I could *zooffff* that away, like use magic.
But it's really hard, we have to experience positive experiences, so that we see that things can go right too. And we have to learn ourselfes (i think thats the most important thing) to feel relaxed around people. Yesterday on this board people told me to ''focus on the other person'' while being around him or her. That's a great try, right? we could always try
And we should try anything to make ourself feel relaxed,, take deep breaths, breathe out slowly, talk slowly, maybe that helps too.. That will make yourself feel calm. Being relaxed is the key.... So focus on being relaxed, and the other person.

 

[punklove]

Thank you all for the advice. I finally feel like I can start to open up to him about my struggles with SAD.