Exercising making me more Angry? (Suspect anxiety related in some way)

[Orion's Hound]

I recently started getting in shape. Walking, Working up to running. They say when you are mad to go exercise. Makes it go away. Lately, I noticed that about ten minutes into my exercise I begin fuming. Normally, I am almost impossible to make angry and am not an angry person but exercising brings out unsettling thoughts of petty, childish vengeance usually directed at people I haven't thought about in ages (like a friend on Facebook who suddenly stopped responding to my messages or a girl who looked at me odd when I tried smiling at her for example).

The odd thoughts are vast in scope and bizarre, normally glorifying some violent or heinous action on my part like breaking someones legs, burning places down, blowing things up, viciously smashing a head open with something heavy, etc. Needless to say, they are disturbing me because they pop in without warning and only ever while exercising. For more background, exercise has never been something I associate with anything negative, really. I wasn't punished with it.

Anyone else ever have this? Any ideas as to what this could be? Could it be related to my shyness and anxiety/mistrust of people? It seems backwards from how it should be based on what people say about exercise actually making anger go away.

I recently joined the forum and looked for a post concerning this specific issue as per the rules of this place but didn't find it. Apologies if I missed it somehow.

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Hi, I have only an opinion but can't really relate to your post. It seems as though exercising brings out all of your angry thoughts, perhaps because you are feeling strong, and feeling strong brings out an emotion of wanting to confront things you were previously unable to; whereas in that moment you feel powerful enough to finally do this. There needs to be a concerted effort to bring your thoughts into a relaxed come-down, especially since you have built-up (repressed, perhaps) angry emotions. Many people end their exercises with yoga or some sort of meditation. Maybe this would help you?

 

[R3K]

first of all, what kind of exercise are you doing? is it something sports/martial arts related, or are you just doing lifting treadmilling jargon? i'd recommend getting a bodybag for punching and kicking if you don't got one. i found a used one at a sporting goods place for like 70$ that works awesome for me.

what i do is try to teach myself what i see the ufc fighters doing or watch vids on youtube on taekwando kicks and stuff. if you can focus your rage into a martial art then maybe that will help your situation. cause if you're confident you can defeat a person your size in a fight, then you'll automatically feel better, even about past beefs i've found.

 

[doubtmyself]

Exercise channelled my anger so I could get rid of it with say a 10km run, followed by 1km swim, 20km cycle and then weights...finally a yoga session.
The last session is important to calm yourself down.
I slept like a baby after that!!

 

[gustavofring]

I've had some of these feelings before.

Because you carry such a weight on your shoulders of people who have hurt or your own low self-esteem, when you start working on your self, these thoughts come back from underneath the surface and it's like you're literally physically "fighting" your demons. I also start thinking during exercise, maybe not to such extend, but it's definately confronting somewhat.

I would say continue with your exercise, maybe it helps if you write down your "evil" thoughts afterward. It's helpful to understand them and try to resolve them. In many cases it's irrational bottled up anger.

 

[Orion's Hound]

Thanks for the responses. I walk for about 45 minutes at a fast enough pace to cover just over two miles. Working my way up in increments so nothing hardcore or what I would have considered aggression inducing.

PowerfulThoughts: Actually, I was researching that and I was about 350lbs (ended up on an oral steroid for two years following some surgeries on my stomach to heal up) and I have walked myself down to 290lbs. It started at 300 and, according to research I have done, losing weight may increase testosterone in males, especially if they are overweight by a large amount. Testosterone drives aggression. The will to fight and all that could be increasing so you maybe on to something.

R3K: I am still a bit big to do anything to martial artsy, but as I work my way down I was considering adding weights into the cardio and doing some boxing like I used to do when I was much younger. Thanks for the vote of confidence - I like to get other perspectives before blowing money on something that may not work so if it worked for you I will give it a run.

doubtmyself: Get tired just reading it. Maybe eventually. You must be a supreme athlete to pull that every day (or most days) out of the week. It is impressive.

gustavofring: Sounds like you have the same then. Nice to know I am not crazy or something. It is very irrational anger. Part of what made it so scary. I will try writing it down too. Writing didn't even occur to me in the slightest - I had considered fighting sports and meditation but maybe writing will help me out.

Thanks for the responses, everyone.

 

[Iluv]

The odd thoughts are vast in scope and bizarre, normally glorifying some violent or heinous action on my part like breaking someones legs, burning places down, blowing things up,

You should try boxing if you already haven't !
But on a different note sometimes small memories that we hold back come out through something that can vaguely remind us of it. Sometimes we don't even realize it since our subconscious herds these kind of angry memories. Now I'm not saying thats the source but it could be. You never really know with all the different ways our minds work and cope. Anyways sometimes worked up anger pushes us further.