Execising the brain to become more social.

[Quietguy11]

Hey guys, well in my Journal thread I mentioned a little bit about the brain being a muscle, and that it can be shaped and developed in a way that can enhance social skills. This is something that just came to me the other night when I was out playing D&D with a group of people. My mind was blank, as it normally is, and I couldn't think of anything to say, which was making me feel like the pressure to talk was on me. This all changed when I took that moment (while feeling blank) and searched deep for a thought to use in conversation. It didn't matter how much I said, I just wanted to break free from that mute-like feeling and get my voice out there so I exercised a certain part of my brain (not sure what part) to develop a thought and then pushed through the anxiety, and spoke it, and I actually got positive reactions from people when I spoke!

What we need to realize is that the heaviness felt in the mind (normally physically felt around the forehead area) is a deception. It may appear like there are no thoughts at all to speak at the time, but if you challenge your mind, and exercise your brain like any other muscle, you will be able to dig deep enough to find a thought that you can speak.

So after speaking for awhile, I then started feeling blank again, but this time I viewed it as a normal thing instead of an abnormal thing. I viewed it as I was simply finished speaking, and had nothing more I wanted to share with anyone. Where before I would be questioning myself as to why I burnt out so quickly.

Anyway the next time you are in a social situation and your mind is blank, try challenging yourself to say something regardless to how much you feel you may have to force it out. Search for a thought, because there are more thoughts going on in there than you think, and say it confidently without care as to how you sounded or how you were perceived.

 

[Scandic123]

This is definitely true. Challenging the brain and pushing yourself is probably vital if you want to be more social and feel less anxious. However, I think it has to be a good experience with positive reactions, because otherwise the anxiety will be reinforced.

 

[spider04]

Been doing this for a while.

 

[vickiekitties]

Sometimes in awkward silences I'll just monologue about some topic I'm familiar with that the listener might not be. Is this kind of what you're referring to? Guess I'd rather seem random than boring :b

 

[jaim38]

Easier said than done. I'm ok with speaking up in a small group, but I have more trouble in larger groups. Plus my voice is naturally faint so if I do speak up, I have to sound like I'm partially yelling.

 

[Quietguy11]

I feel I could have explained all of that a little more clearer. The brain is like a muscle that can be exercised. Unless your mind is exercised you will continue to have the same thoughts reoccurring through your mind over and over and will never be interested or even capable from a cognitive perspective to change the way you perceive things like how you may perceive yourself or others in social settings. I have actually been able to reach a newly discovered area of my brain that has to do with the way I now perceive things socially. My illness was centered around talking or not being able to talk enough around people. I would obsess over wanting to have a conversation like normal people do and it got to the point where it was becoming a mental illness. Without taking away my natural shyness and anxiety, I have been able to grab hold of my thoughts a lot more easier and speak more "freely" and "confidently." I just stopped caring what other people think, and interpret my anxiety has nothing more than the way my nervous system responds to information. Basically my thoughts have been enriched and corrected. I view things normally now instead of obsessing over what's wrong or off about myself. I would like to note though that I am taking Celexa. I feel that the chemicals I received from that antidepressant helped me get to this point where I'm at. But I also believe people can do it on their own using the power of the mind alone, and may not need the support or aid of an antidepressant/psychotic.

 

[jaim38]

^Thanks for the clarification. You are right that the brain is like a muscle. You have to keep using it or it will deteriorate. When I lived away from home, I was very lonely. Aside from my brother, I had virtually no one to talk to. I could go the whole day without speaking to anyone. Over time, my voice has gotten raspier and throat more phlegmy. Speaking became very unnatural as I have adapted to the silence. When I moved back home, I started speaking more, to myself and my parents, but realized how sucky my verbal skills were!

 

[Quietguy11]

I still have that problem with the raspier voice and phlegmy throat (I don't know what those terms mean but they seem like they define what I mean.) But I realized that is the way the mind and ears are hearing it. To people who are listening to us talk, our voice is not strange in anyway. What helped me overcome the feeling that my voice sounded strange to other people was not letting it get to my head. Knowing that my voice is perceived as being normal is all I need to know and has given me all the confidence I need to continue talking with people.

Areas I feel I need to work at though is creativity. As you know I play D&D with a group of people and I am finding it hard to be creative with the roleplaying aspect of my character. Basically I will abuse spells and try to kill stuff as quickly as possible. But I won't actually get "into" character, and be more expressive in what may character is going to do. Like when we solve puzzles in Dungeons, I never know what to talk about lol. I just wait for someone else to come up with an idea, then add my opinion on what we could else we could do using his or her idea.

 

[Kiwong]

I see my mind as a radio, with thoughts as the frequency. Which frequency you tune your thoughts to, influences your mood noticeably.

 

[Quietguy11]

I see my mind as a radio, with thoughts as the frequency. Which frequency you tune your thoughts to, influences your mood noticeably.

Very good description of the mind. That's what it's like for me, too. There has been a lot of static in my thought life, that I had to clear away. Developing the brain based on perception, thought, and feeling information has significantly helped me overcome much of the illness I had for so very long, but WITH the help of medication in my case.