Everyones next step

[faithnomore]

So i am beginning to get out of the house occasionaly. It is a real struggle because i feel so different to other people the same age (they all seem so cool and fashionable, and would probably judge and hate me).

What i want to ask is: What point is everyone else here?

If being able to leave the house is the 1st step, what comes next?

How far have you guys got, and how did you make progress?

Were there any setbacks along the way?

 

[Scrabbl]

When I'm around people I know, I wanna be able to to express my opinions, needs, wants etc instead of saying what they want / expect to hear.
Also I want to not be so perfectionistic

 

[Kinetik]

I'm tackling two fairly big steps simultaneously right now. I'm trying to become at least semi-comfortable on the phone (I've taken calls from two different companies in the last few days) which is pretty major considering that for the past couple years, I only used it to talk to people I know. The other thing is that I'm starting to drive again for the first time in three years. Both are going pretty well, I've yet to experience any setbacks, though I know that it's important to keep doing these things over and over until they don't faze me anymore. I've learned the hard way that the moment you stop, your progress ceases and from there it's very easy to go into reverse, which makes everything seem really daunting all over again.

 

[mikestar]

going to the shops and making freinds

 

[Avery]

It would be getting a job for me. I've only had one part-time job in my life, and that was over two years ago. I'm not going to say I liked it, but I certainly liked it a lot better than doing nothing: when I got off work Friday afternoons I felt good because I was flooded with feelings of independence and self-sustainability, even if these were exaggerated. It's completely different from college, which always winds up making me more depressed.

The challenge is that I've got an overload of classes this fall, and I don't have half the energy that most people seem to have, so both work and school might be a bit much.

The other challenge is that approaching clerks and managers in stores for possible jobs is awful to me. I guess no one likes it, but I get really, really nervous, and I invariably take the inevitable rejection personally, even if I logically know there was nothing personal about it. Over the past year I've worked up the courage to try maybe two dozen places, and so far no bite, which is really depressing. I'm not good enough to stock shelves, apparently.

 

[kayelle]

For me, the next step is moving out. I rely almost completely on my parents, and if I moved out I couldn't be that way anymore. Unfortunately I have no money and no job, because if I did have money there are old friends moving here that I would be comfortable moving in with, who plan on finding somewhere quiet in the suburbs to live, which would be perfect for me. I'm going to do the lotto every week from now til September just in case!!

 

[fedupoffear88]

Kinetic
Good job, keep movin forward slowly and u'll feel better..
kayelle
Don't move out until u've got a steady job and if possible someone to live with...
For me, i go out the house for some reason or other everyday, i do all the normal things, hang out couple of times, tho can't hang out much due to mah parents. The only thing i gotta do is learn to believe in myself and be confident, but again my parents r the problem....U'll know what i'm talkin about once u read my thread on bad parenting.
http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/bad-parenting-cause-of-your-social-phobia-19536/

 

[faithnomore]

I'm tackling two fairly big steps simultaneously right now. I'm trying to become at least semi-comfortable on the phone (I've taken calls from two different companies in the last few days) which is pretty major considering that for the past couple years, I only used it to talk to people I know. The other thing is that I'm starting to drive again for the first time in three years. Both are going pretty well, I've yet to experience any setbacks, though I know that it's important to keep doing these things over and over until they don't faze me anymore. I've learned the hard way that the moment you stop, your progress ceases and from there it's very easy to go into reverse, which makes everything seem really daunting all over again.

I used to be afraid to answer the phone, or it would ring all the time, and i wouldn't have the energy to answer. For some reason i'm ok with it now. Only on a few occasions do i get anxious.

Keeping things going is tough, but is supposedly the way to get over anxiety/fear. I'm really trying to keep going out of the house, but it's really hard as i am reminded of my status compared to others.

I used to be able to work, but was never comfortable when i got invited anywhere outside of work/college. A job now would be good for my progress.

Thanks for the posts so far everyone! It's comforting hearing each others problems, and their efforts to get over social anxiety. If we work hard, hopefully we can get over it.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

I'm tackling two fairly big steps simultaneously right now. I'm trying to become at least semi-comfortable on the phone (I've taken calls from two different companies in the last few days)

you r doing very well.i am trying to handle the phone thing too.i dont talk to companies and staff but i said that i must answer it every single time it rings and not ignore it cause it makes my fears grow.i usually leave it ringing and then i get anxious thoughts looking at it,i am gonna try answering it immidieatly

The challenge is that I've got an overload of classes this fall, and I don't have half the energy that most people seem to have, so both work and school might be a bit much.

.

i am looking for a job too to combine it with the college.what stops me sometimes is that if i find one i will have ti be always at least at an emotonial point where i can work.but i am so depressed sometimes that i think i wont be able to make myself go to work and i'll be fired.i have experienced working one summer.And i must say it does give u a feeling of being indepedent

 

[freestylemonster]

For me the next step would be to speak my mind more while I'm not drunk lol

Lately I`ve been able to force myself to say something but it`s after a lot of thought, and I wanna get to the point where I don`t think about it and just say it with no worries

 

[PhantomPod]

I have been working on filling my time doing fun activities. I mostly just hang around my house and go on the Internet or watch movies. Like I never do anything after work or on the weekends. But I have now started golf lessons and I have been going every Wednesday night. I have also started piano lessons, which I am taking on Thursday nights. I have been wanting to learn both golf and piano for a long while now, so it is about time that I started going to lessons! So I have been very happy with my lessons.

I have also been trying to get more comfortable using the phone. If I have to make a call in work I would usually take an hour to get my courage built up and I would write up a script filled with every possible question I might ask them, every questions they might ask me, and every answer I will give to these potential questions. But now, I have cut down the time it takes to psych myself up and i just write up a few brief bullet points of what I want to say instead of an entire script. Also, I am currently trying to rent out my condo, so I put an ad on craigslist. So that is something that I really have to answer the phone for, otherwise the people usually don't leave a message. So I've been doing a good job at actually answering the phone of numbers I don't recognize, instead of just freaking out and letting it go to voicemail.