Emotions go from 0 to 100

[Bronson99]

My emotions swing badly, and it takes only a small trigger. The worst is envy, when for instance I think about how I'm so behind in everything in life, and envy those who just get it done. When this happens, my mood can swing from "neutral" all the way to extreme anger or sadness, or both, and it feels like the world is collapsing and I'm absolutely worthless, just good for nothing! This feeling is terrible and it can last for hours--and if there is something in life that I'm fixated on, and I'm envious about it, it can last for days, coming in waves.

This "0 to 100" on the emotion scale is serious stuff. The typical image of what I'd like to do when it occurs is bang my head against the wall repeatedly, although I never do that. It's been sometimes bad enough that I entertain the idea of cutting myself, although of course I never do. Sometimes I will punch objects, but it doesn't seem to help much.

There's a hundred different things broken with me now, and I'm so easily overwhelmed by it all. The point is, just telling me to fix my life and the "bad feeling will go away" is the advice a naive simpleton would give me, and I don't want that here.

I'm sure other people experience something like this, so I need perhaps a strategy to defuse it before it goes off the rails and I start feeling worthless compared to others. That is just the worst feeling for me, and it's the root of any and all suicidal thoughts I've ever had. Are there any techniques or ideas or anything to do about this?!?

The bad feeling came back tonight after reading someone's post elsewhere about how they're moving on and attaining their dreams. I find the more I read in these forums about people "and their great accomplishments", the more the feeling occurs. Perhaps a logical fix is to stay off the forums, but, this occurs without them too. Anyone!? Please don't just ignore this post because of my obvious desperation, I know it's a turn off, but put up with it this time and help.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

These aren't your emotions.

 

[sahxox]

Yes I spent years depressed due to these emotions. I was so sensitive to everybody around me and would get jealous of their success, especially at their lack of social inhibition. The most trivial things could send me spiralling. Sometimes I still get them - most recent example was someone who used to work at my work comes in, and everyone is all over her. I am new and didn't know who she was, and immediately became jealous and my self-confidence plummeted. I thought "I can't do anything right" and everyone must hate me because they don't treat me like that.
I think it's called emotional reasoning, and is one of the big causes of anxiety. I noticed my emotions and thought from a logical perspective, before reasoning how stupid they were
1. She has worked their ages ago
2. Nothing at all to do with me - their exchange was because they were long-lost colleagues, not because poor little me was working away in the corner.
3. If I returned to my old school/family reunion or something, I'd probably be partaking in a similar encounter.
How to Stop Worrying: Self-Help for Anxiety Relief
Found this link this morning actually.
I think it's about the onus we put on our thoughts and retraining the levels of emotional attachment we have to different ones. I believe us with SP tend to dwell on the negatives and take these as truths, so I found this knowledge refreshing in putting me back on track. Good luck.

 

[jaim38]

I know what you mean. When I see all those pictures of people traveling abroad and having fun with their friends on Facebook, I feel jealous, worthless, etc. But I also feel so ashamed of myself because I should be happy for those people who are living their lives but instead I am feeling jealous.

I've been thinking about this yesterday. One possible "cure" is to stop comparing yourself to other people and have lower expectations for yourself. I used to compare myself a lot with others. Facebook is a big comparison trigger, so I'm no longer active on it. Get rid of the comparison triggers. Another thing is to lower your expectations. Let's face it, we will never become Bill Gates, Mother Teresa, or Superman. Maybe 1 in a quatrillion chance, but it's a fat chance. Let's be realistic and set realistic goals for ourselves. Think of low-hanging fruits. I realize that when I set my standards low and achieve low hanging fruits, I become a bit more confident.

 

[Dark angel]

Hi Bronson99. After reading your post I couldn't feel anymore identified with everything you said. This happens to me everyday as well. It's scares me. One moment i'm perfectly fine and 30 minutes later I'm angry, sad and feeling like my life isn't worth any penny. When I was a bit younger I despise those who express feeling envy towards others instead of feeling happy for their accomplishments. I couldn't understand how it was possible to harvest such a consuming feeling until recent years when I started to experience the emotion myself. Now, I can even look at myself at the mirror without recognizing who am I anymore. And because I despise the idea of such emotion, it is needless to say that I'm at a point in my life where it is safe to say I hate myself even more. I never thought I could experience feeling envy for those who I love. It isn't right. I know it isn't but is an uncontrollable feeling. On Friday I got to a point where I even consider suicide. It is a consideration that's always there but after coming home from work I got quite desperate and the thoughts where even louder. I came even closer. Something stopped me from doing so. Probably fear. But it was the first time I was glad of being afraid. Because it stopped me from doing something I wasn't supposed to.

I guess what's left is to try our best to keep on going. As much as I don't like myself at this point, all I got left is to hope that things will get better. I may not be the most appropriate person to say it. Emotions will keep on coming and overwhelm us but you got to find a way of blocking out the bad thoughts. Getting a good night sleep, reading a book, taking a shower or simply breathing. Breathing is the tangible proof that as long as we are here we had the chance of changing the course of our lives. All we need is to take one step at a time and one day at the time to find a way out. If you need anyone to talk to feel free to send me a message or anything. I could use a little bit of chat as well.

 

[Bronson99]

I've been thinking about this yesterday. One possible "cure" is to stop comparing yourself to other people and have lower expectations for yourself. I used to compare myself a lot with others. Facebook is a big comparison trigger, so I'm no longer active on it. Get rid of the comparison triggers. Another thing is to lower your expectations. Let's face it, we will never become Bill Gates, Mother Teresa, or Superman. Maybe 1 in a quatrillion chance, but it's a fat chance. Let's be realistic and set realistic goals for ourselves. Think of low-hanging fruits. I realize that when I set my standards low and achieve low hanging fruits, I become a bit more confident.

At the same time we need to be realistic, to say to ourselves that low-hanging fruits are the only fruits we should look for, it is a good way to deny ourselves the possibility of a more desirable life. When you strip yourself of all blissful idealism, I find it removes the idea of dreams, which for me are a necessary lubricant to keep life interesting enough.

If perhaps I was to look at my past of utter academic collapse and failure, even in the least demanding classes I just gave up, and look at the way I had trouble functioning at even the lowest-level jobs available (for instance, crappy retail jobs that pay less than $10 an hour), then I might make a logical conclusion that there is nothing better for me out there, and I should not even try for it, and just accept the demoralizing view that I belong to the lowest caste in Western society--someone who cannot function properly at the lowest level of expectation.

I have sometimes entertained the idea of being a bit cognitively disabled, as even the slightest demand on my cognitive functions causes overdrive and I get exhausted; then there's the fact that even after living in the same place for all my years, I barely know the street names, and I don't have the confidence to go anywhere with a lot of traffic; I also have trouble doing simple things like folding shirts or filling up a car at the gas station. Doesn't mean I can't do them, but I sometimes screw up.

Looking at all this, I could say I might only be fit for bussing tables or stocking shelves and accept that I'm crap in society's eyes; or I could say there's something better out there possible if I could just focus my anxious, inattentive mind. I prefer the latter, or at least people around me want me to believe it. But on my most depressed days, I believe the first, and yet won't accept it. Perhaps that explains my almost blank resume, y'know? Not willing to accept crappy jobs as my perpetual goal; not willing to reach for anything better, because my defective neurology won't let me.

 

[theslowesthand]

For up till i was about 30 yrs or so, i had major problems with what i call "yo-yo syndrome". I was either COMPLETELY SUPERIOR to others, or COMPLETELY INFERIOR, and never anywhere in-between. So that always caused major mood swings, if i were in the appropriate people situations. I'm much better nowadays, 10 years later, most likely due to my beliefs & expectations about life gradually changing. So for myself, for many many years i just couldn't seem able to budge at all my reactions & this yo-yo self-esteem. It has required many many years to change such things (not eliminate, but greatly minimize the frequency of). I am still prone to such stuff, so i have to watch my thoughts like a hawk, when certain situations occur.

From what i have learnt via my experiences, and from studying much self-help stuff, is generally:
• 1) Cure: Whenever you get into such an exaggerated emotional state, you need a QUICK method, which WORKS, to immediately get you out of the worst of it. Personally, i always have used my own way of anlysing-to-death the events in my mind, writing down my thoughts/reactions/ideas, working on them. But i think the BEST way to deal with such urgent emotional emergencies, would be to try something like "tapping" (see thetappingsolution.com), as it is meant to affect IMMEDIATE results with your mood
• 2) Prevention: As i have found, most of my emotional reactions were due to deep-seated beliefs i have, & the associated thought-patterns that triggered them. So, as soon as you are able, i would suggest that you start looking into stuff about the "beliefs" you have about life, as i believe that changing them is the KEY thing to do, in order to overcome your problem with "0-100" mood swings. I'm currently investigating a few sites that deal with our deep/core beliefs; they all seem to cost as far as i know .. but i could give you some links, as you can at least get a good overview of what i'm talking about here concerning these beliefs

 

[Bronson99]

For up till i was about 30 yrs or so, i had major problems with what i call "yo-yo syndrome". I was either COMPLETELY SUPERIOR to others, or COMPLETELY INFERIOR, and never anywhere in-between. So that always caused major mood swings, if i were in the appropriate people situations. I'm much better nowadays, 10 years later, most likely due to my beliefs & expectations about life gradually changing. So for myself, for many many years i just couldn't seem able to budge at all my reactions & this yo-yo self-esteem. It has required many many years to change such things (not eliminate, but greatly minimize the frequency of). I am still prone to such stuff, so i have to watch my thoughts like a hawk, when certain situations occur.

From what i have learnt via my experiences, and from studying much self-help stuff, is generally:
• 1) Cure: Whenever you get into such an exaggerated emotional state, you need a QUICK method, which WORKS, to immediately get you out of the worst of it. Personally, i always have used my own way of anlysing-to-death the events in my mind, writing down my thoughts/reactions/ideas, working on them. But i think the BEST way to deal with such urgent emotional emergencies, would be to try something like "tapping" (see thetappingsolution.com), as it is meant to affect IMMEDIATE results with your mood
• 2) Prevention: As i have found, most of my emotional reactions were due to deep-seated beliefs i have, & the associated thought-patterns that triggered them. So, as soon as you are able, i would suggest that you start looking into stuff about the "beliefs" you have about life, as i believe that changing them is the KEY thing to do, in order to overcome your problem with "0-100" mood swings. I'm currently investigating a few sites that deal with our deep/core beliefs; they all seem to cost as far as i know .. but i could give you some links, as you can at least get a good overview of what i'm talking about here concerning these beliefs

If you could give me some non-commercial links on "tapping," I would be happy to read them. I just don't have the impetus to follow advice gained from a site begging you to pay.

 

[theslowesthand]

My apologies for the delay .. i haven't been here for last 2 days, been too busy

If you could give me some non-commercial links on "tapping," I would be happy to read them. I just don't have the impetus to follow advice gained from a site begging you to pay

I haven't properly tried tapping myself, but i have collected some links & pages on it. However most of them cost. But i did manage to find a few links where you can get information & how-to's which might suffice, or at least get you started on it:
EFT Tutorial Center - Navigation - EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
Free EFT Videos. Learn Tapping here at EFTuniverse.com - Navigation - EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
Learn EFT - Tutorial - EFT Tapping - Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) - The Tapping Solution - About (free videos)

Other ways to felt better quickly could also be:
- Certain music (eg calming; to calm & pacify; music speaks directly "to the soul")
- Incense or oils (as scents centre of brain directly connects to emotional centre)
- Alcohol (eg have a beer or two; reduces conscious thinking, thereby greatly reducing the heightened feelings)

Ps: The way i've always handled extreme anxiety/emotional episodes was via "muso-alcoholism", which i don't really recommend, but that was often the only thing that could "pacify" me (booze & loud/hard/fast rock/metal music sessions). I'd usu start with a quick glass of spirits, then start on the beer (& music) ... and keep going for several hours like that ... drinking, loud/aggro music, and also recording & working on my feelings/issues on the computer. But that was me! lol

 

[Bronson99]

slowesthand, thanks for your response. But I tried alcohol in the past and it worked a bit too well, and with my addictive personality, I quickly became a hidden alcoholic, drinking too much every night by myself.

At a certain point the pleasant feelings from alcohol went away, and I started getting negative effects of all kinds. Even spending several years with hardly more than 3 glasses of wine, per year (seriously), the bad effects have not gone away. Even a single beer makes me feel weird. It's like I developed an allergy or somehow my body developed reverse-tolerance.

 

[theslowesthand]

At a certain point the pleasant feelings from alcohol went away, and I started getting negative effects of all kinds. Even spending several years with hardly more than 3 glasses of wine, per year (seriously), the bad effects have not gone away. Even a single beer makes me feel weird. It's like I developed an allergy or somehow my body developed reverse-tolerance

Perhaps you got liver damage from it? I know that sometime while i was drinking heavily i developed extreme toxic overload .. unsure if was due to alcohol, or if was due to damp/moldy house, teeth infections, food i was eating, chemicals in house .. perhaps a combo of all of these. Now i am fine, having rid all those things.

I tried alcohol in the past and it worked a bit too well, and with my addictive personality, I quickly became a hidden alcoholic, drinking too much every night by myself

I also have an addictive personality. Not sure if bacame "addicted" to alcohol itself (ie alcoholic), but i was addicted to the habit or routine of drinking alone at home every night. I relied on alcohol as my main ay to feel better, & was also my attempt at addressing deep-seated issues such as lacking various (most or all) of my emotional needs as a human; alcohol allowed me a "release" of all that stuff, and gave me a chance to "connect" with such stuff, when normally i was "light years" away from them - i just often felt bad or not-at-ease in various ways.

Nowadays i habitually try to avoid drinking at all. Perhaps i just know now that its not really that good an idea. I'm trying other, better, healthier ways to feel better.

 

[theslowesthand]

I may have found possibly another good option, for handling urgent emotional situations. On socialphobiaworld i have seen some threads/posts mentioning "grounding meditation". It perhaps might be good for your issue?

Here's some links:
The Tree - A Grounding Meditation - Fragrant Heart
Guided Meditation Audio - Listen for free (eg "Guided Visualisation for When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed")

 

[Bronson99]

Perhaps you got liver damage from it? I know that sometime while i was drinking heavily i developed extreme toxic overload .. unsure if was due to alcohol, or if was due to damp/moldy house, teeth infections, food i was eating, chemicals in house .. perhaps a combo of all of these. Now i am fine, having rid all those things.

Suggesting I might have liver damage is not a good way to calm someone down. In any case, I've had many blood tests done since that time, and my liver function numbers are normal. As I understand it, if you don't have cirrhosis or another serious liver condition, the liver will heal itself over time.

If you have a better understanding of how alcohol affects the liver, go ahead and enlighten me.