Bronson99
Well-known member
My emotions swing badly, and it takes only a small trigger. The worst is envy, when for instance I think about how I'm so behind in everything in life, and envy those who just get it done. When this happens, my mood can swing from "neutral" all the way to extreme anger or sadness, or both, and it feels like the world is collapsing and I'm absolutely worthless, just good for nothing! This feeling is terrible and it can last for hours--and if there is something in life that I'm fixated on, and I'm envious about it, it can last for days, coming in waves.
This "0 to 100" on the emotion scale is serious stuff. The typical image of what I'd like to do when it occurs is bang my head against the wall repeatedly, although I never do that. It's been sometimes bad enough that I entertain the idea of cutting myself, although of course I never do. Sometimes I will punch objects, but it doesn't seem to help much.
There's a hundred different things broken with me now, and I'm so easily overwhelmed by it all. The point is, just telling me to fix my life and the "bad feeling will go away" is the advice a naive simpleton would give me, and I don't want that here.
I'm sure other people experience something like this, so I need perhaps a strategy to defuse it before it goes off the rails and I start feeling worthless compared to others. That is just the worst feeling for me, and it's the root of any and all suicidal thoughts I've ever had. Are there any techniques or ideas or anything to do about this?!?
The bad feeling came back tonight after reading someone's post elsewhere about how they're moving on and attaining their dreams. I find the more I read in these forums about people "and their great accomplishments", the more the feeling occurs. Perhaps a logical fix is to stay off the forums, but, this occurs without them too. Anyone!? Please don't just ignore this post because of my obvious desperation, I know it's a turn off, but put up with it this time and help.
This "0 to 100" on the emotion scale is serious stuff. The typical image of what I'd like to do when it occurs is bang my head against the wall repeatedly, although I never do that. It's been sometimes bad enough that I entertain the idea of cutting myself, although of course I never do. Sometimes I will punch objects, but it doesn't seem to help much.
There's a hundred different things broken with me now, and I'm so easily overwhelmed by it all. The point is, just telling me to fix my life and the "bad feeling will go away" is the advice a naive simpleton would give me, and I don't want that here.
I'm sure other people experience something like this, so I need perhaps a strategy to defuse it before it goes off the rails and I start feeling worthless compared to others. That is just the worst feeling for me, and it's the root of any and all suicidal thoughts I've ever had. Are there any techniques or ideas or anything to do about this?!?
The bad feeling came back tonight after reading someone's post elsewhere about how they're moving on and attaining their dreams. I find the more I read in these forums about people "and their great accomplishments", the more the feeling occurs. Perhaps a logical fix is to stay off the forums, but, this occurs without them too. Anyone!? Please don't just ignore this post because of my obvious desperation, I know it's a turn off, but put up with it this time and help.