Scared Dreamer
Member
I feel really depressed. I broke up with my boyfriend of four years in December, lost all my friends, and I'm currently fighting with my mother. I graduated from art school two years ago and moved back home with my parents. I was lazy for two years and spent most of my time smoking weed. I did create art work but I realize now I hate the majority of it. I am proud of a couple pieces though. I quit smoking and for the most part drinking. I occasionally have a glass of wine but then feel guilty about it. I have been cleaning up my life, looking for a job, and I got an internship. I've been cleaning out my closet and giving all the things I don't wear to charity, which is why my mother is pissed at me. She thinks I'm doing it because I may be bi- polar. My mother spends too much money on me and constantly buys me clothes. I've told her to stop which she has but she's pissed about me getting rid of the stuff I don't wear. I don't understand it. She see it as throwing it out. I feel so lonely. I have absolutely no one but my ex boyfriend to talk to but it's really not a good idea for me to continue to talk to him. I want to meet someone who will really satisfy me and not settle and go back with him. Some days I don't see a positive future and just wish to die. Today I felt really positive and motivated to clean up closets and donate all the things my parents don't use like old books. Now after the fight I want to die again.