Does SA make you believe people talk more sophicated and complex?

[Moses199]

I'm not sure if i'm the only one with this distortion of reality. But sometimes i feel like SA makes me view people too sophisticated and superiorly complex for me to understand socially. Like if i see people talking it feels like they are speaking in a grander complex way that if i tried talking to them they wouldn't understand what i'm saying because i will sound alien-ish. Do you feel like this too?

I became aware of this distorted reality when my SA briefly went away for the first time from drinking alcohol (before i built tolerance ) The alcohol completely eliminated my SA and i saw everyone around me differently, as if they are VERY VERYYY simple to understand and not that sophisticated and superiorly complex. It made realize how people are to simple like the alphabet ABC, lol. But eventually alcohol stopped working so i moved to street drug called MDMA (i also did Meth few times) which i eventually quit because i felt it was going to make my life worst and get schizophrenia. I don't do drugs anymore, life is good not depending on substances.

So my question is, do you guys get this distorted reality that when you see people talking it seems more sophisticated and superiorly complex?

 

[Kiwong]

Not really, I see many people as dysfunctional cattle. Well that is actually being unkind to cattle. We are the most dysfunctional species on this planet. Yes people are complicated but they aren't superior, just full of shit.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Like if i see people talking it feels like they are speaking in a grander complex way that if i tried talking to them they wouldn't understand what i'm saying because i will sound alien-ish. Do you feel like this too?

Unfortunately, in a sense that may be exactly what's going on.

Lack of social experience and the resulting amount of social skill tends to go hand-in-hand with social anxiety.

It's also true that humans are basically irrational and primitive.

It's a lot like how certain animals have enormously complex, ritualistic mating dances. One misstep and it's a no-go. All they're really trying to do is boink but they have to go through all of the steps first. These animals are not really "superior" to other animals. They're just going about things in a more complicated way.

Much of human behavior is like that, except we have rituals and subtle signals and protocols for all sorts of things (including mating). Making it worse is the fact that these are not entirely consistent from group to group or even from person to person.

Inebriation may allow you to gain experience by temporarily numbing your fear and boosting your confidence, but it can also numb you to picking up on subtleties and retard the learning process.

 

[phobik]

I do not feel exactly like you do, but I do have similar problems. I have low self esteem and think that most people are above me, especially those who are wealthy, good looking and intelligent. I feel like I don't fit in, that I am different or weird, and dumb, and that people think this when I am talking to them.

It sounds like you found that you were fine when you had help (alcohol) with your anxiety, which seems to indicate that this problem is in your head: it is irrational. Humans seem to have a need to define or label problems. So, what you started out with- uneasiness or nervousness- had to be interpreted, and you began to suggest to yourself that you were inferior, or that "People are too sophisticated and complex for me to understand socially." I think a lot of this is just irrational, negative thought, although obviously some people do have inherent social interpretation difficulty.

Did you have these problems when you were younger?? Do you have any diagnosed social comprehension problems?? If not, then it is likely that you have irrational thought that could be treated with cognitive behavioral therapy.

A lot of us with SP feel inferior and have low self esteem. I'd guess with a good CBT therapist you would test your irrational thought and find it to be incorrect, and that people who now seem "sophisticated and complex" would no longer appear that way.

 

[Bronson99]

Lack of social experience and the resulting amount of social skill tends to go hand-in-hand with social anxiety.

Are you suggesting that if one of shy/nervous disposition nonetheless forces himself to go through the same amount of socializing as his peers (instead of withdrawing, as I did and many of us here did, probably).. the experience gained would diminish the likelihood of developing long-lasting SA?

 

[Zaki]

More sophisticated and complex? Generally...no. I just feel like other people have an easier time expressing themselves.

 

[Predacon]

I'd agree with that somewhat, because you're not used to talking, when you hear others and their conversations seem so free flowing, it can make you feel out of your depth, even if they're talking crap.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Are you suggesting that if one of shy/nervous disposition nonetheless forces himself to go through the same amount of socializing as his peers (instead of withdrawing, as I did and many of us here did, probably).. the experience gained would diminish the likelihood of developing long-lasting SA?

Well, I do know it's a vicious cycle. When you socialize less, you learn less about how to socialize. That means that on the rare occasions you do socialize, you're more likely to screw up and therefore more likely to have bad experiences...reinforcing your decision to avoiding socializing.

Progress can be made by plowing through the fear and weathering the physical symptoms in order to at least learn how to fake being/feeling normal. Whether that means the SA itself diminishes or it's just the symptoms, I couldn't say. I don't believe that either the causes or the severity are the same in every case, nor do I believe that the same methods work for everyone.

Normal people spend most of their waking hours socializing pretty much from birth. It's not entirely unlike a video game. If you don't adventure, you don't get experience points and don't level up.

I'd agree with that somewhat, because you're not used to talking, when you hear others and their conversations seem so free flowing, it can make you feel out of your depth, even if they're talking crap.

Yeah, it's not that the conversation itself is in some way deep or intelligent. Most often it's entirely the opposite. There are rules and stuff to it though, and the body language that goes along with the conversation is usually far more important than the subjet matter.

We're all just a bunch of dumb, crazy, emotion-driven apes. We mask our apish motivations and illogical feelings behind social rituals and words.

 

[Deco]

Alcohol helped me socialize when I was in my 20s. But after sometime it felt like social approval for many people was just based on my drinking habits rather than anything else. Like getting drunk in every party was needed for most of my friends approval.

Alcohol can help an introvert get rid of the overthinking or subconscious blockages. I had a good time, but I think that the hangovers and the impact on my health were not worth it anymore.

And I agree that we have too many unnecessary subtle things going on. Like NLP, pheromones and body
language only show how primitive we still are.
Some of wich are just unfair and only isolate good but awkward people while others like narcs can master it for social manipulation. Being honest and straigth to the point can actually scare a lot of people. And sarcasm is just like a must these days.

 

[Moses199]

Well, I do know it's a vicious cycle. When you socialize less, you learn less about how to socialize. That means that on the rare occasions you do socialize, you're more likely to screw up and therefore more likely to have bad experiences...reinforcing your decision to avoiding socializing.

Normal people spend most of their waking hours socializing pretty much from birth. It's not entirely unlike a video game. If you don't adventure, you don't get experience points and don't level up.

I agree with you somewhat. But i also think watching people talk on tv and talking to our family retains our social skills.

 

[Odo]

I used to think this whenever I was in a social situation. I would have a really hard time following group conversations and participating all seemed so far beyond my abilities... but it has nothing to do with my intelligence or complexity, and nothing they were saying was all that hard to understand in reflection... it was just hard to juggle my own thoughts AND the conversation, especially if I can't relate to what they're saying.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

watching people talk on tv and talking to our family retains our social skills.

Well no, not really. Watching TV doesn't give you any real experience. It's not interactive, and that's a big deal. The people involved are also acting out scripts, which gives a very distorted view of how interactions really work. I've known many people who lack experience to expect relationships (especially "romantic" ones) to work like they do in the movies. It doesn't turn out well.

Talking to your own family may help some, but most people have tons of experience on top of that. Your own family is a very limited number of people and the relationships are generally pretty static and even pre-ordained to an extent.

I used to think this whenever I was in a social situation. I would have a really hard time following group conversations and participating all seemed so far beyond my abilities... but it has nothing to do with my intelligence or complexity, and nothing they were saying was all that hard to understand in reflection... it was just hard to juggle my own thoughts AND the conversation, especially if I can't relate to what they're saying.

Anxiety does make it difficult to concentrate, which makes it difficult to follow conversations and social flow. It's also true that learning social skills has very little to do with intelligence. It just takes instinct and opportunity.

 

[Kiwong]

I agree with you somewhat. But i also think watching people talk on tv and talking to our family retains our social skills.

Not if it is Kochie and Sam on the morning sunrise show.