Does it ever end ???

[Hottie]

Im so tired of social anxiety and what it brings. I know i have to stay positive and reinforce the positivity but it is so hard to do when there is no result.

I feel that this is my life... Isolate myself - hate then being lonely, do some tasks - be anxious, medicate with drink - then feel twice as anxious, put on a smile and try to pretend im happy and comfortable - when inside im sad and full of nerves, want a relationship - cant relax so cant happen, want to enjoy college - impossible with SA, go through therapy - no use, want to feel close with my friends again - back to isolation....... the list goes on and on and on...

Just feeling run down and i have no energy to even try anymore. Life goes on i suppose...

All my friends i feel when im around them are judging and making comments about me, so i cant be out with them. Im losing the sence of who i am. Im not the some old confident, out-going and funny person i used to be. I dont know how much more i can take... Will i ever get myself and my life back? Will i ever actully enjoy anything anymore? Will i ever see an improvement? Will i ever feel good going somewhere? Will i be like this for the rest of my life? If not, i dont know where ill end up...

sorry for the negativity in this...im just losing hope...and need to vent...

 

[barfly]

i guess your biggest problem is your confidence...
i don't know your friends so i cant really talk about it but i don't think that they are judging you constantly. your lack of self confidence seem to be making you a bit paranoid i say this because i felt the same way some years ago...
I know life has a way to get us depressed. it is easy to be negative if we don't really have anything positive in our lives but if we don't make a change no one will make it for us...
the first thing you need to do is get your confidence back. this may sound stupid but buy some new clothes and change your hairstyle. clothes don't make you a different person but if you feel pretty you will be more confident.
also try not giving a **** about things other people think of you. i know this is difficult but when you don't feel the pressure of pleasing other people you will be able to take a better look at yourself and decide FOR YOURSELF what you would like to change about yourself and if you like who you are you will like yourself better.

remember: you are not the center of the world you are one out of billions if other people don't have anything better to do than talk about you it is probably because their own lives are ****ing empty and they don't know what to do about them so they look at other people and try to put defects on them in order to feel better about themselves

 

[deleted user 1]

Something that might under-pin this is how you define yourself. The initial problem to dent my confidence was a result of me misplacing my selfworth in something external and therefore out of my control. If you place your value in people or other external factors you can never achieve emotional stability or security. This sounds like nonsense I know, thought I'd offer it anyway.

Dosvedanya

 

[Isola]

I feel the same.
I isolate myself, yet I feel lonely and I want to have friends.

I do enjoy my own company tho, I like to be alone sometimes.
But this feeling of loneliness... I hate it.

People always say : "C'mon, go out there and meet some people, it's easy to make friends'"

Maybe, but I don't want a superficial friendship.
I want to have friends who I can trust, share my deepest thoughts and secrets with.

Oh well...

Just know that you're not the only one going through this.

 

[Kiwong]

Maybe you can turn the volume down on anxiety over time. So it is no longer like shouting demanding your attention, but more like an innocious whipser. The last week or so my thoughts have had a less hard edge about them.

 

[twiggle]

Im so tired of social anxiety and what it brings. I know i have to stay positive and reinforce the positivity but it is so hard to do when there is no result.

I feel that this is my life... Isolate myself - hate then being lonely, do some tasks - be anxious, medicate with drink - then feel twice as anxious, put on a smile and try to pretend im happy and comfortable - when inside im sad and full of nerves, want a relationship - cant relax so cant happen, want to enjoy college - impossible with SA, go through therapy - no use, want to feel close with my friends again - back to isolation....... the list goes on and on and on...

Just feeling run down and i have no energy to even try anymore. Life goes on i suppose...

All my friends i feel when im around them are judging and making comments about me, so i cant be out with them. Im losing the sence of who i am. Im not the some old confident, out-going and funny person i used to be. I dont know how much more i can take... Will i ever get myself and my life back? Will i ever actully enjoy anything anymore? Will i ever see an improvement? Will i ever feel good going somewhere? Will i be like this for the rest of my life? If not, i dont know where ill end up...

sorry for the negativity in this...im just losing hope...and need to vent...

I'm exactly the same as you.

I used to feel quite popular.

Now I just feel like I've distanced from everyone and I don't relate to them anymore.

I just want to go away and be cut off from everything and everyone right now.

 

[JamesSmith]

People always say : "C'mon, go out there and meet some people, it's easy to make friends'"

These people have no clue what it's like to have SAD. For people with SAD, it's so much harder for us to make friends. If it were that easy to just go out and make friends, we would have already done that.

 

[krs2snow]

JamesSmith, have u been clinically diagnosed w/SAD?

 

[Bustn Justin]

I def don't have the self confidence to be outgoing with others. Right now I am trying to love myself before I can enjoy being around others.

 

[JamesSmith]

JamesSmith, have u been clinically diagnosed w/SAD?

One of my counselors did a test on me, I forget what it was called, but it confirmed that I have an anxiety disorder. I don't need some doctor to tell me I have SAD, I already know I have SAD. I've read about anxiety disorders and I have almost all of the symptoms.

 

[Hottie]

Thanks everyone for your replys... i share the pain

I was having a rough day yesterday. Just feel like no matter how hard i try (and i do try) nothing changes. I live life as best i can, but its not the same as befrore. Im begining to worry a lot that......this is it; this is what the rest of my life is going to be like.

I fully understand that there are people out there that are much worse than me. But within the last 3 years i have gotten so much worse. I rely on drink to meet my friends on the weekend...which in the long run is going to end up another problem. When i am out with them and im not drunk yet, the anxiety takes over and like you said Barfly, i become paranoid. My mind will start to play tricks on me. I try to brush them off but sometimes they are so strongly felt it is difficult to avert my attention away. I also rely on Xanax too for some tasks/dutys/events/responcibilities, and once again wont help in the long run.

People always say : "C'mon, go out there and meet some people, it's easy to make friends'"

It may be easy to make friends for some, but it is difficult to keep them when you dont like to siocialize. Well for me, i actully like socializing but i cant enjoy socializing due to anxiety...so my friendships i feel are fading with time. I feel i dont share the closeness i used to feel.

Aristocrat, i fully understand what you mean and no it doesnt sound like nonsence. I have always looked for value from other people. It is time to reckonize my own value and when i do this i will grow in confidence, by noticing my own value and worth. Its like they say... You cant love anyone else until you love yourself.

ENJOY or at least try to enjoy your friends. U go to school, u can do it, congratulations. How about a soul mate ? U have it ? Or had it ?
Ok reflect on that 3 things I talked about, most people with social pphobia have no life at all: no friends, dropped school/jobs, have no life partner. In one word: they have NOTHING.

Im sorry if i offended or made anyone feel bad who is in a worser situation than me. I just needed to vent. I do feel lucky that i have friends, that i have been able to go to college, im able to volunter, etc. And about soul mates, ive never had a serious relationship....want one....but i find haveing a normal conversation is difficult, never mind being intimite with men because of the anxiety.
I worry what the future will hold...if anything, as i only seem to be getting worse the last few years. My life seems to be shrinking away... Do people feel that this too is their life, and nothing will ever change?

Maybe it is time to do things for myself. Take control and do what i want in life (as challanging and anxiety producing it maybe). Life will continue no matter what struggles are ahead so i think i need to reckonize this and stop worrying abour the future and live in the present. One phrase i like is - yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, thats why we call it it present. I need to live in the present moment and begin to accept that this is who i am, this is where im at....might as well make the most of it.

P.S. just to clarify Renegade_Reload, i finished college a year ago and i have applied to go back again next year. And yeah, i see the challange it took, but i did it and i can do it again (the little anxiety voice inside me says "no, i wont be able to"!!). Im full of worries and doubts

 

[krs2snow]

One of my counselors did a test on me, I forget what it was called, but it confirmed that I have an anxiety disorder. I don't need some doctor to tell me I have SAD, I already know I have SAD. I've read about anxiety disorders and I have almost all of the symptoms.

Oh, I was just wondering. U seem pretty informed about it and I wondered if u'd been to counseling or something. Anyway,

 

[JamesSmith]

Oh, I was just wondering. U seem pretty informed about it and I wondered if u'd been to counseling or something. Anyway,

Yes, I've been to five different counselors. Me and my last counselor mutually agreed that I was wasting my time with counselors because I know what I want out of life and don't need anyone giving me advice. We agreed that I'm going to do what I'm going to do, which is practice muscle relaxation and try to make relaxation a habit. I think our (people with anxiety issues) main problem is not being relaxed. Most people think our main problem is just that we aren't around people enough, but what these people fail to recognize is why we aren't around people as much. It's because we are more tense than the average person. We are subconsciously uncomfortable before we even are around people. I think that a person with an anxiety disorder will always have problems with their life until they learn to relax all of the time as a habit. A relaxed body is a relaxed mind.

 

[eek]

I don't know if it ends, but in my case at least there is progression.

 

[Hottie]

I don't know if it ends, but in my case at least there is progression.

Im glad to hear that your having some progression...im happy for you! Keep up the progression and who knows what opportunities will come you way.

what is everyday like for you ???

 

[eek]

Im glad to hear that your having some progression...im happy for you! Keep up the progression and who knows what opportunities will come you way.

what is everyday like for you ???

mundane