Does it annoy you? ....Or do you agree?

[Gerdje]

Do people ever tell you that if you leave the house more often it will become easier and that if you're around people more often it will become easier?
Basically, exposure therapy.

Do you agree with this?
Or, Does it annoy you?

It annoys me.

People leave me these kinds of messages & comments ALL the time, on this site, & similar ones. They say it matter-of-factly, as if they know how my mind works & are certain that all I need to do is expose myself to these situations more often & then I will be fine & no longer have agoraphobia, or avoidant personality disorder, or social anxiety.

The problem is, exposure therapy does NOT work for me. The more I'm in the outside world, the more I talk to people, the more I "put myself out there" the harder it becomes to cope with even the smallest things. Doing these kinds of things make everyday tasks harder. It makes me panic & sends me into an emotional turmoil.

I've been doing a lot more lately, & leaving the house a lot more than usual & I'm becoming more & more of a nervous wreck as the time goes on. I just want to dig a hole & bury myself away from the world just to get away from it all. I don't think that I should have to go through all this. I've been even worse in the past when I was taking on campus classes & having to leave the house twice a week for school, plus leave to grocery shop & for appointments, etc. It was just tooooo much for me to handle.

Anyway, the reason I'm making this post is because I know there are a lot of people that exposure therapy does work for. It probably does work for most people, actually. But I know that there have to be some people, like me, whose condition(s) are only exacerbated by "exposing" themselves to scary situations (i.e. leaving the house or talking to people, etc.).

I just want to know other people's opinions on "exposure therapy," whether you've done it formally, with a therapist, or just on your own.

Do you agree that leaving the house more often & being around people more often will make you better? Have you tried it?
Or do you feel that it will make you worse.

In my case, I have tried it numerous times & all it ever does is make my mental condition much, much, worse.

I dropped out of my "therapy work" about 1.5 years ago, I had to do it for 4 hours/day, closely followed by a monthly visit to my psychiatrist. She kept holding on to this idea that, the more often you come out, the easier it'll become, the less stressful it will feel. Well, after nearly 2 years, and telling here the truth that all I can do when I get home from it is taking pain killers trying to fight the migraine and being completely exhausted to point of going to bed as soon as I get home, she didn't want to listen to all these signals, and they got worse week after week, when I visited her, she just sat there waiting for me to tell my great stories of how I still held it, when I pointed out all these things month after month, it was like I was talking to a wall, no single sign of reaction, nothing. The only times she really "woke up" and started panicking herself was when she saw I gained serious weight from just another drug she "tested" on me, and that people might see her prescribed drugs made me gain exceptional weight while in the same time I was barely able to look at food, let alone to eat. I am completely housebound for 1.5 years now, do I feel good now ? Certainly not ! Do I feel better compared to when I had to leave the house on a daily basis ? Certainly. Did the stress, anxiety, and complete exhaustion diminish over the 2 years I went out on a daily basis ? Not at all, quite the contrary.

Just my own 2 cent, I sincerely hope other people have different (better) stories.

 

[alanj]

Exposure with the same mindset will get you nowhere and even reinforce the fears. Someone with complete inner confidence and knowledge that ALL IS WELL are not attached to outcomes and just don't care what people may think or even if they make mistakes because they know ALL IS WELL always.

I believe people with SA need to gradually move towards that inner well being and away from fear and believing we are lacking somehow. Start believing you are not lacking anything and that no one is better than anyone else and you will feel differently.

 

[kihira]

exposure by itself did not work for me. only after therapy and meds. and it hasnt totally worked

 

[peps1]

graded exposure has helped me.....but I would never say it would work for everyone.

 

[just wanna b normal]

I don't think the answer is in simply exposing yourself to the situation which you fear.

I think the answer is in changing or eliminating the thought process which causes you to fear the situation.

amen to that coyote see you need to stop having negative thought & putting yourself down like these people are judging you. stop thinking like that. think positive you dont know what they are thinking so stop thinking like that. have a positive out look love yourself & accept yourself for who you are! thats our problem are these negative thoughts. its also the anxiety but there no reason to be afraid