Does identifying yourself as an SAD sufferer help or hurt how you cope?

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crazypants

Well-known member
I'm very new to identifying myself this way, which is why I ask.

I've always known I had issues, but I never put a label on it until just a few months ago, as strange as that seems. When I was young, I was always called Shy, and although I knew that word was just too simple to describe what I was going through, it stuck, and I just figured I was some kind of weirdo - but I sure didn't think I had some kind of PHOBIA or DISORDER! Yikes!

I just knew that my behavior was always causing problems with my family and friends (mostly my family) and they just didn't know why I couldn't get my act together and do what normal people are supposed to do. I figured, I'm an intelligent person; I can reason my way through this. (Talk about the opposite of intelligent!)

So I was laid off from my job of 12 years about a year ago. As time went on and my unemployment came closer to ending, I began to panic at the idea of going on job interviews. After leaving 2 job interviews in tears and frustration at my own stupid anxieties - and the fact that I couldn't stop sweating! - I realized this isn't some minor personality quirk anymore - there's something going on in my head that I can't control no matter how hard I try.

A few months ago, I finally began to research social anxiety. I don't even remember what made me do it; maybe I always knew in the back of my mind. I took a test on-line, and it was like the biggest Aha moment of my life. So THIS is what's wrong with me!!! And other people have it!!!

Anyway, what I'm wrestling with now is, I love the fact that I've begun identifying certain behaviors as SAD related. But I don't want it to become my excuse for not doing things I don't want to do.

So does knowing you have SAD help you to deal with things, or do you sometimes feel that you're using it as an excuse? I'd love to hear from you all since you seem to be so in touch with your SADness! :)

[Sorry for the long post! It's kind of a relief to be able to chat with people who know what the heck I'm talking about after keeping it corked up for 40 years!]
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
the value in understanding how my mind works - how and why i respond to the world - is using that knowledge to work through the situations that might otherwise hold me back or cause me despair, so that i can achieve the things i set out to do and find peace in my day to day existence

it would be a real shame for us to come to an understanding of what motivates or limits us and then not use that information to do something about it other than sit and complain
 
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crazypants

Well-known member
coyote said:
the value in understanding how my mind works - how and why i respond to the world - is using that knowledge to work through the situations that might otherwise hold me back or cause me despair, so that i can achieve the things i set out to do and find peace in my day to day existence

it would be a real shame for us to come to an understanding of what motivates or limits us and then not use that information to do something about it other than sit and complain
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I would like to see it this way as well. But I can't lie, there's a part of me that wants to send an e-mail to my whole family titled "Why I won't be coming to anymore stupid birthday parties or weddings or holiday dinners ever again."

I love your Anais Nin quote :)
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
I do have Social Anxiety Disorder. I have taught myself that it is an interesting part of my mind, and I have to adapt my life to it but I will not allow it to rule my life.

I'm also old enough to have seen how it changes, giving me hope that one day I would have defeated it, but I don't think I will ever destroy it.
 
MrSunday

MrSunday

Well-known member
Well it allows me to understand why the hell I freak out in public places. Then I can take remedies to rectify the situation.
 
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dyingtolive

Well-known member
I actually dont identify myself as a SAD Sufferer, haven't really for a while. I did for a while when i first learned about it. Now, im back to 'this is just me'.
 
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Sup Phyl

Active member
I completely understand where you're coming from. I have a job that's very people involved and for 5 years it's been horrible not being able to do things everyone else can for reasons previously unknown. But now I know it's a disorder I feel better about it but if anyone asks I would make up a reason because I don't want them to think I'm making that up as I'm suddenly bringing it up 5 years later. What really got me though was applying for postgrad degrees and anxiety is listed as a disability which I had to disclose in my applications. So now I'm wondering if I have job interview or anyone asks if I have a disability; would I in truth answer yes?
 
Luka

Luka

Well-known member
In most ways it helped for me. Probably because when I experienced anxiety (when I was around people) I thought I was just weird and that I was the only person that struggled day to day life just to hold a simple conversation. Though sometimes I use social anxiety as an excuse to not go out and stay in my room all the time.
 
R3K

R3K

Well-known member
for me, coming out as a social anxiety sufferer to my parents and grandparents, and a few of my friends, has helped a lot. the main trigger for my anxiety was trying to live up to my parents' standards. finally one day i lectured them on SAD and forced them to accept that i had it, and it empowered me. for better or worse, wether they liked it or not, i was finally free.
 
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crazypants

Well-known member
Luka said:
In most ways it helped for me. Probably because when I experienced anxiety (when I was around people) I thought I was just weird and that I was the only person that struggled day to day life just to hold a simple conversation. Though sometimes I use social anxiety as an excuse to not go out and stay in my room all the time.
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That makes sense to me, probably because I'm in that beginning stage where I'm still amazed that it's not just me!

I can see that I've already figured out that I need to choose my battles. Since I'm job hunting right now, I'm having to power through all kinds of anxiety. I've got to go on job interviews, and there's no getting out of that unless I want to live in a cardboard box.

On the other hand, my friend invited me to a concert, and normally I'd torture myself by going, even though I'd be miserable the whole time. But now I say, No Thank You, and I don't feel guilty about it. Screw that!
 
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crazypants

Well-known member
Sup Phyl said:
I completely understand where you're coming from. I have a job that's very people involved and for 5 years it's been horrible not being able to do things everyone else can for reasons previously unknown. But now I know it's a disorder I feel better about it but if anyone asks I would make up a reason because I don't want them to think I'm making that up as I'm suddenly bringing it up 5 years later. What really got me though was applying for postgrad degrees and anxiety is listed as a disability which I had to disclose in my applications. So now I'm wondering if I have job interview or anyone asks if I have a disability; would I in truth answer yes?
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That's interesting - I mean I suppose an employer can't deny you a position and say it's because of your disability, but they can sure find a way to reject anybody if they really want to, and it would be so hard to prove it was because of your disability. It's a pickle!
 
A86

A86

Well-known member
crazypants said:
That's interesting - I mean I suppose an employer can't deny you a position and say it's because of your disability, but they can sure find a way to reject anybody if they really want to, and it would be so hard to prove it was because of your disability. It's a pickle!
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I know its morally wrong, but in today's dog eat dog competition over jobs, I tell employers what they want to hear (its all just bulls#$t protocol anyway). Its silly society has encouraged this, because at the end of the day it can be the difference between securing an income or not.
 
Hoppy

Hoppy

Well-known member
What every employer want is intelligent employees.

An intelligent employee knows what not to say.

As long as you can do your job right, your emotional status is irrelevant.
 
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Sup Phyl

Active member
crazypants said:
That's interesting - I mean I suppose an employer can't deny you a position and say it's because of your disability, but they can sure find a way to reject anybody if they really want to, and it would be so hard to prove it was because of your disability. It's a pickle!
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Employers may not be able to reject a interviewee based on disability, but it will never stop them doing it. Employers are supposed to be more understanding these days, and I'm sure some of them are, but in my workplace my boss doesn't seem to care or understand. I would leave but I don't feel I can do anything else at the moment and I worry my next employer will be as understanding (or less, if that is indeed possible) as my current one.
 
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