Do your parents try to get you "out there"?

[HeadFace]

As in, do youre parents constantly try to get you to socialize, or try to get you out of the house? Or are they supportive and understanding of your anxiety?
Mine... Are the "oh my son is still normal" kind. My mom constantly tries to get me to hang out with people. And the few people that I am comfortable around aren't "goody goody" enough for them, so when I go out I always have to lie.
Other than that they always try to get me to goto social events and just outdoors in general. Hell my mom even tells me she'll take me somewhere with friends if I want but... Generally I don't want to.
When I ask just to goto somewhere in general for shopping or and errand then I won't get the ride. Somewhere with "friends" though? Sure, I'm free to drive you anytime.
And my dad constantly tries to sign me up for so much stupid bull**** too. Sooo... yeah... You guys?

 

[Rose_Red]

My mum always tries to make me go out.
She always complains I'm at home too much, and asks me why I don't have friends or why I don't do things 'normal' teenagers do (she used that term).

She isn't nice about it, and she doesn't understand me either. But we don't have a good relationship anyway, so she never tries to understand me and my 'problems' (as she calls them).

When the rare occasion came and I did get asked to hang out with someone, my mum never takes me and I never have a way into town. So how can I go out when I can't get anywhere.

My father, he tells me to stop being shy. He takes me places when I visit him, but it's out of sympathy.
My sisters are constantly critising me though. They always call me a loner and stuff that upsets.
One of them used to invite me to hang out with her and her friends when she went out.. she did that at primary school too, but it makes me feel incredibly embarrassed.
That's something the older sister would do, not the younger one.

 

[NathanielWingateSpaghetti]

The ast time I saw my dad he gave me some money, and when I said I probably wasn't going to use it, he said, "Hey, you're in college, enjoy yourself."

It would have been nice if he didn't add "Go buy some drunk hookers or something" at the end. I think this was my dads way of trying get me out there. He meant well?

hahahahahahaha! your dad really told you to go buy prostitutes? thats really messed up. Errr, sorry for laughing :/

 

[NathanielWingateSpaghetti]

I'm pretty sure he was joking...I hope. He tends to instill values by saying the opposite of what he means. Like "Smoking is so cool, I wish I smoked!" and many, many racist and sexist comments, usually of stereotypes (girls who play sports are lesbians, and can't drive, ect ect). I really hope he's joking about those.

jesus christ! :/ We can only hope he's joking. I played in a softball league in my younger years, so im a lesbian

 

[lurknomore]

Honestly, I kind of wish my parents had actually pushed me to "get out" when I was a teenager... neither of them seemed to mind or care that I was a loner who holed up in the garage with musical instruments or stayed in my room reading every weekend.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

The ast time I saw my dad he gave me some money, and when I said I probably wasn't going to use it, he said, "Hey, you're in college, enjoy yourself."

It would have been nice if he didn't add "Go buy some drunk hookers or something" at the end. I think this was my dads way of trying get me out there. He meant well?

I think he probably did. I'm sure he knows very well that you're not the kind of guy to go buying drunk hookers, although maybe next time you see him you should drop in a casual comment like "Oh and thanks for the cash, dad. Those hookers you can get in college towns are so much better than the ones you find around here."

To answer the OP's question, yeah my parents used to try to get me "out there" when I was a teen. I resisted. They got the idea eventually.

 

[twiggle]

My parents don't know about my SA. They see me as having a good social life and many prospects (even though they admit I'm not fulfilling my potential right now).
They've been great parents to me and I get on with them well, but if I told them about my SA, it'd break their heart. Even though I'd love for them to know/understand why I can be like I am sometimes (like the past 3 days when I've just hidden in my bedroom and not eaten much).

 

[HeadFace]

My mum always tries to make me go out.
She always complains I'm at home too much, and asks me why I don't have friends or why I don't do things 'normal' teenagers do (she used that term).

She isn't nice about it, and she doesn't understand me either. But we don't have a good relationship anyway, so she never tries to understand me and my 'problems' (as she calls them).

When the rare occasion came and I did get asked to hang out with someone, my mum never takes me and I never have a way into town. So how can I go out when I can't get anywhere.

My father, he tells me to stop being shy. He takes me places when I visit him, but it's out of sympathy.
My sisters are constantly critising me though. They always call me a loner and stuff that upsets.
One of them used to invite me to hang out with her and her friends when she went out.. she did that at primary school too, but it makes me feel incredibly embarrassed.
That's something the older sister would do, not the younger one.

Ha. Yeah. My mom complains that I'm on the laptop too much. Always. She also complains about how I dont go out as much as I should, or as much as anyone else does. Actually; An exact quote from her - just for you:
"Why don't you go out and hang out with your friends? I don't know any other teenagers that stay home all the time."

Honestly, I kind of wish my parents had actually pushed me to "get out" when I was a teenager... neither of them seemed to mind or care that I was a loner who holed up in the garage with musical instruments or stayed in my room reading every weekend.

HA. No. No you dont. And nothing wrong with being a lonely musician. In fact, that sounds like an ideal life to me.

My parents don't know about my SA. They see me as having a good social life and many prospects (even though they admit I'm not fulfilling my potential right now).
They've been great parents to me and I get on with them well, but if I told them about my SA, it'd break their heart. Even though I'd love for them to know/understand why I can be like I am sometimes (like the past 3 days when I've just hidden in my bedroom and not eaten much).

Ah. Yes, my dont either. I think some of my family members might think I'm shy - Or my parents think it but deny it.

And hey. sounds like my past few weeks. My mom asked me why I havent been eating dinner all week, actually.

 

[darkrider]

My mom always gets pissed off at me when I don't go anywhere. What pisses me off the most about it is that all my life growing up she was so overprotective and every time I made friends in school she'd be like "I really don't think you should be hanging out with those kind of people". But now she wants me to go places where I can meet all kinds of people and socialize with them?

I always blame my mother for my SA. Instead of encouraging me to go out and socialize she tried to grow me up like a nerd studying 24/7 and always giving me long boring lectures on "Going out late at night has nothing to offer"

 

[MsBuzzkillington]

I kind of wished my mom pushed me to go out more. She just let me avoid everything I was afraid of. Look what avoiding did? Kept me scared of everything for many years.

Basically, the way I see it... is you should embrace this opportunity, go out, take risks, face your fears. Absolutely nothing is going to get done or get passed without some really difficult steps.

 

[Rembrandt Broam]

I kind of wished my mom pushed me to go out more. She just let me avoid everything I was afraid of. Look what avoiding did? Kept me scared of everything for many years.

Basically, the way I see it... is you should embrace this opportunity, go out, take risks, face your fears. Absolutely nothing is going to get done or get passed without some really difficult steps.

Overprotective parents seem to be quite common for people with SA, and I agree that they do their children no favours. I think parents should try to encourage their children if they show signs of SA, but not push. It may be a fine line between the two, but rather than forcing a child into situations in which they are uncomfortable perhaps it's better to try to create an environment where the child feels they want to take that step for themselves.

 

[***deleted***]

My parents think I don't want friends.
I live with my grandparents, and If I do want to hang out with someone, they want to meet them first. I tried this once and they interrogated this guy for almost 20 min. I'm almost 20 years old, so now the thought of having to sit through another interrogation is enough to keep me unsocial.

 

[Kiwong]

My Mum encouraged me, it was a supportived kind of encouragment. It never really succeeded. I always preferred my own company.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

My parents have given me much independence. This has been a curse as much as a blessing. I'm grateful my parents don't ask me unless I bring it up about such things; but at the same time some forcing would do me well =)

 

[DespairSoul]

I kind of wished my mom pushed me to go out more. She just let me avoid everything I was afraid of. Look what avoiding did? Kept me scared of everything for many years.

Basically, the way I see it... is you should embrace this opportunity, go out, take risks, face your fears. Absolutely nothing is going to get done or get passed without some really difficult steps.

::I feel pretty the same. My mum was the same as yours as i see. If i said i fear it she let me avoid everything. Not forcing to nothing. Well her attitude was pretty overprotective yup.
She always said words like don't do that coz u hurt your self, don't do that i will do it better for u etc., don't do that because is dangerous..all the time some complaining but let me avoid totally everything,school...she was not wanting see me suffer i understand but i think was making me even more isolated and fearing overall. Forcing do stuff would help me much more better as avoiding.

@Headface=) Well now u may think your parents are doing wrong but i think they are amazing doing it this for u if is going about to help u socializing. Choice friends u have right yourself there i disagree with your parents. Be happy for those parents because have to much overprotective parent isn't good. U would fear do things even more.

 

[HeadFace]

My mom always gets pissed off at me when I don't go anywhere. What pisses me off the most about it is that all my life growing up she was so overprotective and every time I made friends in school she'd be like "I really don't think you should be hanging out with those kind of people". But now she wants me to go places where I can meet all kinds of people and socialize with them?

I always blame my mother for my SA. Instead of encouraging me to go out and socialize she tried to grow me up like a nerd studying 24/7 and always giving me long boring lectures on "Going out late at night has nothing to offer"

I can completely relate to your first paragraph. Growing up... If I had a friend they didn't like, they wouldn't even let me talk to them. I remember I had a good friend, and even though he was a little younger than me, I enjoyed his company. Guess what? They didnt like his parents. Once they told me that, I never saw him again. Even now, if I have a friend that isnt the same religion as them, or good enough background, they won't let me talk about them, or even to them. Actually, my last "group of friends" I had (quotes because I'm no longer friends with any of them) would've been bad from my parents standards. So I just told them I'm hanging out with completely different people. Funny, because it worked all the time. I just named some good-good friends they knew and they didnt care if I came back at 7 or 1am.

My parents have given me much independence. This has been a curse as much as a blessing. I'm grateful my parents don't ask me unless I bring it up about such things; but at the same time some forcing would do me well =)

Aha. I wish I was you. Trust me, do you really want someone constantly scolding you for being alone and saying things like
"How come you aren't doing normal teenage things?
Go get some friends./Go hang out with your friends.
Why dont you get out and do something"
etc.
They generalize staying home as "doing nothing". So if I decide I'm not going somewhere, or if I stay inside, they'll tell me I'm wasting my time doing nothing all day.

 

[Phoenixx]

My parents don't even know about my anxiety, they just know I'm "extremely shy". My dad really doesn't even try to get me "out there" since he's pretty much a hermit himself. But my mom would ask me once in a while why I don't go out and hang with friends or why I don't want to go anywhere. They're not too nagging about it, and I like it that way. If anything, my brother nags me about it worse than my parents do.

 

[Nanita]

My mom sometimes suggests that I should "apply to that school" or she gives me an add about a job or a class. It´s really annoying, because it´s not that I don´t know how to get information about... things and possibilities. I just CAN´T function in those possibilities... so lay off, mum, you´re not helping at all!!!

 

[Zav]

My parents never really gave me trouble. They just sorta let me do what I want. When I was in high school I still went out, I was just still super quiet when around anybody other than my couple closest friends. So to them I appeared to be "social" enough.
It's kinda funny - now I am in college and been moved out for years now but more isolated than ever, and they have no idea, and they never seem to inquire about it.