Blue: if I was interested in someone, it wouldn't matter to me if she had alopecia or not... I know exactly what it is and I know how devastating it is... My mother has had it for about 10 years... She uses mens Rogaine on a regular basis. For me, it wouldn't be a turn off at all...
Now as far as having children. I cannot and will not have children. My reasons are I feel it is selfish to have kids. At least I feel that way looking at my own life. I didn't ask to be here, but my folks forced me to live a life I never wanted. I know for a fact I have first cousins that have very bad SA, depression, agoraphobia and other mental illnesses. My sister, mother, father all have bad depression, and auto immune disorders. Bad allergies, asthma, and there is no way I would ever want offspring to live through the crap I have lived through. Okay, I know I am sounding VERY VERY negative here. But I feel very strongly about it. I also view the world as being a very poor environment to be bringing in another life. I hate the over populated areas that are exponentially growing every year... I have seen areas that were once corn fields and mature oak woods, turn into housing developments where houses are literally 20 feet apart from each other darn near stacked on top of one another. That kind of growth is happening at an alarming rate. I think we are killing ourselves with too many people, and I don't see how the planet will be able to meet the demands and be able to continue producing energy for everyone. With all the emissions and warming trends... this world has become a very scary place for me, and I worry about our future. So much so that it makes me sick at times... This is a big reason why I can't and won't have children... I just can't do that to another life... Sorry...
I’m a mum and I can tell you that I don’t see myself as “’selfish” for having a baby. Although I struggle with my SA (there are a lot of situations that come with parenting that flare up your anxiety) I have always made a point of not letting it get in the way of being a good mother. You do put them in front of yourself and that pushes you through situations that are out of your comfort zone. It was suggested in this thread that becoming a parent is a socially acceptable thing to do, I know what was meant by that but really it does not make you suddenly socially accepted when you have a kid. There is a lot more judgement of you if anything. Parents can do a lot of bitching. As for passing on SA to your child, of course it is a concern but being aware of this illness can help prevent it too. My Lil girl is just a baby but so far she is nothing like her crazy mum. My daughter is full of smiles and self confidence. The world is far from perfect, but I don't think having a child adds to it’ s problems ( I took a bit of offence to that ).. my girl makes it a better place.
P.s I know everyone has their own opinion on this topic, I don't mean to attack anyone’s post – I love the honesty, just putting in my own![]()
And then I'd probably adopt instead of creating a new human. Overpopulation is destroying the planet and it seems like the Chinese are the only ones saying people should limit how many kids they have.
My childhood was full of trauma and pain. I don't want to repeat these parenting errors. I don't want to have kids and then never see them because I'm working all the time. Or have kids and then not be able to afford to give them a good education, health care, a place to live and grow.
And I don't want my kids to have to take care of me because I'm sick or old. Or have my life revolve around them because they are all I have.
I personally think at this point on earth there should be some kind of screening process on who can be parents. You have to get a license to drive but people can pop out complicated little human beings whenever they want? I don't think that is wise.
If everybody was to get screened to see who can be parents. I bet everybody on this site would be rejected probably because people with SA and other mental illnesses shouldn't be having children because we are apprantly not fit enough and everybody who has children most be happy and well adjusted.
I don't understand why some people here are guilting others into thinking it's wrong to have children. It's everyone's right to reproduce if they want to. Being a good parent has nothing to do with IQ and having any kind of screening process on something that is natural and innate to human survival is absolute lunacy. Overpopulation is not what's destroying the planet. What's destroying the planet is religion, politics, and money.
The post about overpopulation is a real laugh for me cause i used to live in the middle of no where. there was hardly a soul for miles and miles and miles and miles
Wrong, overpopulation does destroy the planet too. It takes away resources and there isnt enough for everyone. Just step into the ER, or a school or anywhere and see how crazy it is. Anyway, the whole IQ test to be a parent etc is a joke. But truthfully, this thread didnt really enlighten anyone. Its basically asking people why they want something but without putting thought into it. Most people have children because ts thought to be the right thing to do, but they often dont see the ugly side of it also.