Do you understand?

[Shauni]

So I've never been diagnosed but I've had symptoms of social anxiety all my life.
My family doesn't listen to me when I tell them my problem. They just call me shy or immature or even weird. But they just don't understand. Most of the students at my school think I'm weird and are uncomfortable around me. My anxiety has gotten both better and worse as I get older. I can now control my anxiety to an extent and understand that my fears are irrational. On the downside, I now have much more fears. I always get self-conscious when I walk and I feel like everyone is staring at me walk. I also have difficulty eating in front of others. If I am being forced to speak in front of a group I get really hot and dizzy and I start shaking and stuttering. I am terrified to go anywhere alone. (like to the store) I'm scared to go to restaurants because when I go I am too scared to order food and feel like all the people are staring at me. I'm even anxious around my family. The only time I'm mostly comfortable is when I'm alone but even then I get this irrational fear that maybe someone is there. Just maybe they're watching me. Even though I know no one's there I can't help getting the feeling. I am extremely uncomfortable in my classrooms, especially during tests. During a test when it is silent I get this fear that I might make a noise and embarass myself. I am scared to sneeze or cough or even move slightly in my chair. I have no idea how I even made it this far or how I even continue going to school. When I was in elementary school, some teachers wanted to put me in special ed. Some just thought I was immature. These days when I tell people about my social anxiety they either think I'm exaggerating or they'll say they have it to even though they really don't and are mistaking it for simple shyness. Anyway I just came here to find people like me. I only recently discovered this was a disorder. I always thought I was just mentally ill. I know you all will understand. (also please excuse my bad grammar. I am typing this very fast in a fit of passion)

 

[MikeyC]

Welcome to the forum, Shauni.

There's only a select few people that will understand what social anxiety is. You can explain until you're blue in the face but that won't change their mindset of "you're being difficult" or "get over it" at all. I don't think it's their fault that they think that way - just a lack of compassion and knowledge on the subject. (Although some people are downright inconsiderate.)

You made it this far, and you said your anxiety is manageable enough to get you by, so the more you work on it, the better it will become, and the more you'll realise your fears are unfounded.

 

[spider04]

We all here understand you, most of us here go through the same thing. It's good that you discovered about it, that's when you start learning more about yourself and get better.

 

[Shauni]

I understand how people don't understand. It's impossible unless you are afflicted yourself. My family is pretty inconsiderate though. I just wanted to share my experience with people who would understand...

 

[SilentBird]

I appreciate what it's like to feel intensely uncomfortable around people, and how frightening and confusing it is not knowing how to perform in social situations.

 

[Lou-s-Darkness]

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing!

I, as well as many people on site feel the same way/experience similar things. I know what it's like having your family just say you're being immature and exaggerating things, and even just flat-out crazy. I get told that a lot at home. No one understand and I will not explain anymore. My parents still want me to find a job while im in college and won't understand when I say I can't. So, you know what? I won't bother. And not only parents, but people outside the family circle won't understand even the slightest. Just bear with it and try your very hardest to get through anxious situations!

 

[Shauni]

Thanks! It's nice knowing there are other people going through the same things.

 

[jaim38]

My parents don't get me either. Sometimes they put me down saying things like "you're so scared, you're useless" but it only makes me more defensive.

During a test when it is silent I get this fear that I might make a noise and embarass myself. I am scared to sneeze or cough or even move slightly in my chair.

I can definitely relate to this. When I used to attend classes on campus I sit rigidly like a rock afraid to move or make a single sound. One of my biggest fears is farting in public, or making noises which sound like farts. Sometimes I am scared of opening my mouth because random squeaky noises will come out which sound like farts. I take frequent bathroom breaks and try to eat less. Everytime I go to somebody's house and they invite me to eat their food, I feel the urge to go but feel bad about using their bathroom. I would rather use the public restroom than, say, a friend's bathroom.

And sometimes my bones make popping sounds which probably some people think I farted which sucks.

 

[MikeyC]

My parents don't get me either. Sometimes they put me down saying things like "you're so scared, you're useless" but it only makes me more defensive.

No wonder you'd be defensive if your parents tell you you're useless.

 

[jc972]

Yes, I understand. And I'm sorry you are dealing with these things. Nothing is worse than multiple people looking at you at once, you don't want to attract any attention to yourself? I feel your pain. I'm glad you found your way to SPW.