Do you think You really have SA or maybe its not

[popolala]

I think SA people are more genuine and more honest in their feeling, that they show it, rather than pretend. They a visual person compare to confident people, confident people can act, it does not mean they are a nice or happy person. Its because they just confident enough, that they can put on a character of their choice.

I also prefer people who are genuine, who show real feeling instead of acting. I tend to feel intimidated by alot of people, and rarely confident around anyone, because i feel they are better than me.

& i agree with you DespairSoul that we should smile, be nice.. even if its an act, its better than a frowny face.. i dislike people who give dirty look.. so rude and no need to..::

 

[Hottie]

We all have a range of different personalities. This means that one may react differently to a situation, on the inside and on the outside.

So imo it depends on your personality. I have been told i am confident when i dont even feel confident. But like i have said b4, i think deep down i am confident. I feel like i have much to give, it is just hard for me to give it!

But saying that, i drink to excess, is this for confidence or simply to remove the anxiety. Maybe both. But if i was without SA i could be myself, and with SA i cannot be myself.

If you took away SA, would you be the same person?

 

[popolala]

We all have a range of different personalities. This means that one may react differently to a situation, on the inside and on the outside.

So imo it depends on your personality. I have been told i am confident when i dont even feel confident. But like i have said b4, i think deep down i am confident. I feel like i have much to give, it is just hard for me to give it!

But saying that, i drink to excess, is this for confidence or simply to remove the anxiety. Maybe both. But if i was without SA i could be myself, and with SA i cannot be myself.

If you took away SA, would you be the same person?

Well, im very SA.... i definetly tick the box of all the criteria to meet requirement of SA...

maybe you suffer from confident issue, if anything what really help SA is our own thinking, we can see therapy, councellor... but they wont work if we dont take the action to really go for it and change for the better.

I think if someone really want something... they will do whatever it takes.. and nothing will stop them... what is holding you back from being confident?... i notice you mention it a few times, that deep down you are a confident person.

would i be different without SA? Yeah, i guess. But i think i am naturally a shy person with no originality... i learn from others to build up who i am as a person... i just pick up and adopt personality and apply it in myself, but only in my mind.. lol ... which is sad ::

 

[killertubbie]

You know I have to agree and psychologist say oh you change for them ah no I am a human being and not a follower and I do not work well in anything in a team of more then two people so I have to change for them screw that "I yam what yam and thats all the I yam" -Popeye the sailor man he even says but these psychologist want us to be like everyone else. lets all stick together and say screw you guys we are awesome I am acting right now if I had to say that right now in person I would run so yes you can act confident but being confident is being confident in yourself that is the difference.

It's true I think overall, when you can feel confidence genuilely, that's what matters!! It's a work in progress!

 

[killertubbie]

Killertubbie

Yes i dream about world where everyone should befriend. I know is impossible wish. Logic i know this won't never happened. But i don't understand why not to befriend as enemies? I think is much better. Why not give respect to any human being with nice smile and greeting for example? Why look dirty on others with hate and ridiculing? I don't understand world at all. Yes i find it sad to pretend who i'm not but u know where i'm now? I'm not able pretend anymore. I don't have powers anymore pretend. Well i'm not gonna scream out there "Helloo i have SA ya know" but i just put head down because i can't put my head up and pretend all the time, i'm instead pretending rather escaping from situations. I guess so u are right a lot of people is pretending confidence while they feel miserable. I just don't know who do it so and who not? I never met someone with so severe SA as i have Thank u for your reaction on my message.

No problems Despair, thank you too I guess
I guess that's the problem and there is no signs written on our forehead which said who has SA and who doesn't. The way I see this, it's that people can use their SA to their advantage. If you decide to meet new people and being able be yourself, you know these people are worth to be in your social network.

I guess it's better that way than pretending and pretending, you'll never know who's real and who's not when everyone is acting nice around you. I guess having some sort of conditions, will eliminate toxic people around you.

Sorry if I don't make any sense...I'm trying to explain the best I can.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Don't think I have SA. I think I have strong AvPD-behaviour with trace amounts of SA spurring from perceived inadequacies, social and other, coming true as an after effect of the isolation

 

[MidwestGal]

It all depends on our definition of SA. People's are different.

I had a weird social phobia thing going on because I was sort of emotionally cold due to hypothyroidism. So to try and relate to people on a smaller scale, where they would expect you to smile and be warm and reciprocating was awful for me because people would think I was weird or a jerk and i'd have to play it off like by saying i had a really bad day or was stressed, that's why i was acting weird. What they didn't know was that it wasn't my fault - it was lack of thyroid hormone (and some others) that was preventing me from feeling normal about this situation. I knew what my body was doing and my mind was saying wasn't rational or normal, but i could do nothing to change it.

I'd go over it in my head a thousand times, and wonder why I couldn't bring myself to smile. But I just couldn't. However, having a couple drinks made it easier for me to force the smile, which was good because then I could atleast socialize while having a drink.

I could, however, easily speak in front of hundreds of people completely sober, because there was no expectation to be warm and friendly on a personal level.

Now that I'm completely better, I can relate to people easily and warmly and don't freak out or get upset or shut myself in the house because I can't stand the thought of going out in public and facing others all frowny-faced and being judged.

Did I have a social phobia? well, yes, it was socially-based and it was a phobia that prevented me from leaving the house at times. You may argue I did not have a true social phobia because I was "cured" and true social phobias cannot be cured in that way. But how many people are fully aware of what the root cause of theirs is? For whatever reason, my thyroid test read normal, so you can't simply say get a full physical work up because things don't always show up.

The only thing we can do is try every avenue to get better... counseling, nature's remedies, share stories on the forum, go to the doctor, and whatever else we can possibly think of.

 

[MidwestGal]

Hottie - I am NOT at all the same person now as I was with my hypothyroidsm-caused SA. Definitely not the same at all. My whole outlook on life is sunny; before it was bleak. I was trapped inside a body I could not reason with or control.

 

[Hottie]

Well, im very SA.... i definetly tick the box of all the criteria to meet requirement of SA...

maybe you suffer from confident issue, if anything what really help SA is our own thinking, we can see therapy, councellor... but they wont work if we dont take the action to really go for it and change for the better.

I think if someone really want something... they will do whatever it takes.. and nothing will stop them... what is holding you back from being confident?... i notice you mention it a few times, that deep down you are a confident person.

would i be different without SA? Yeah, i guess. But i think i am naturally a shy person with no originality... i learn from others to build up who i am as a person... i just pick up and adopt personality and apply it in myself, but only in my mind.. lol ... which is sad ::

What is holding me back from being confident? Well, when i am around people, i tend to be quieter and more reserved. I am quieter and held back because i dont want attention on me. I dont want attention on me incase i have a blushing attack.
That is why i think if i take away the blushing that happens me in SA situations, my confidence would be given some time to shine!

I am very ambitious. I have a future plan. I want to get my degree and then my masters. Get a job, make some good money, maybe move abroad to get a job (as there is very little choice in the area of crime here in Ireland).
In my job, i want to move up the ladder and have respect in the work i do. But... i dont want to do any of those things with SA/blushing. So my confidence in doing them things, wont be the same unless i dont have SA/blushing.

You say you think you are naturally shy, well on the other side of that, i think i am naturally confident. But i can never be sure unless i magically cure my SA. Does that make sence?

Hottie - I am NOT at all the same person now as I was with my hypothyroidsm-caused SA. Definitely not the same at all. My whole outlook on life is sunny; before it was bleak. I was trapped inside a body I could not reason with or control.

It is really good for you that now you have a new outlook on things and have found yourself in a good place now. I hope one magic day i can say the same.

 

[popolala]

Hottie: i think if you keep doing it, you wont get the blush attack.. its natural to be shy at first time, but im pretty sure you wont blush all the time right? .. maybe you will, but you got to try.. its the only cure of SA, is trying.. if your naturally confident, you should bring her out. :: .. Just Do It!

 

[AGR]

Well I am not diagnosed or anything,but I think I may have bdd,but maybe its not bdd if its real,in turn it made me really have anxiety,anyway it ruined my life so bad that I was so lonely that now its how I turned out,my entire "being" turned out this way that now I dont feel so bad being lonely and it actually is strange to be around people or form relationships with people,yeah I dont understand a couple things either,but maybe its because its impossible to me,then it makes impossible to understand.

 

[popolala]

Well I am not diagnosed or anything,but I think I may have bdd,but maybe its not bdd if its real,in turn it made me really have anxiety,anyway it ruined my life so bad that I was so lonely that now its how I turned out,my entire "being" turned out this way that now I dont feel so bad being lonely and it actually is strange to be around people or form relationships with people,yeah I dont understand a couple things either,but maybe its because its impossible to me,then it makes impossible to understand.

you can fight bdd, by not caring hw you look so much.
communication is the key for everything, looks is so little..
and if your happier person, you look good anyways.. because your be smiling
everyone looks good when they smile!

 

[AGR]

you can fight bdd, by not caring hw you look so much.
communication is the key for everything, looks is so little..
and if your happier person, you look good anyways.. because your be smiling
everyone looks good when they smile!

Thanks for the positive message and advice,but each case is different and in my case its hopeless,as I said if the thought is real maybe its not bdd at all.

 

[SPV]

You don't really understand SA then. I can be sincerely confident and witty with some of my friends, and then later that day be petrified, with heart pounding, by my door by the thought of meeting anyone when I step out to get the mail.

I wish I was shy honestly, to the point where I would not be able to appear falsely confident and outgoing in groups. Then maybe I wouldnt weird people out with the "confident one moment, mute at the slightest personal moment" - and maybe an outgoing girl would find me interesting

Yes, I know exactly how you feel. I've been that way a couple of times before when I used to have friends. Just acting confident requires a lot of self conscious effort, and I can't seem to be able to put up with it that much, I even experienced panic attacks every night dreading about the next time seeing them. Those were one of the most stressful times in my life.

 

[JosephG]

Hmm I don't think it is important to categorize sometimes. Social Anxiety etc is a spectrum and affects each sufferer differently. Some people can get up and deliver a presentation to a whole room of people without a problem yet when it comes down to the small talk around the water cooler they struggle.. and vice versa.

What I know is that everyone here has problems with socialising and that it is good that we have all come to this forum to learn about them and support eachother

 

[SPV]

Hmm I don't think it is important to categorize sometimes. Social Anxiety etc is a spectrum and affects each sufferer differently. Some people can get up and deliver a presentation to a whole room of people without a problem yet when it comes down to the small talk around the water cooler they struggle.. and vice versa.

What I know is that everyone here has problems with socialising and that it is good that we have all come to this forum to learn about them and support eachother

Very well said. I too believe that Social Anxiety is different for everyone and it is not our place to judge a persons condition to determine whether their Social Anxiety is "valid" or not. As you said, in the end, we're all suffering one common problem which is the fear of interaction.

 

[Snowdrop]

I think you are right when you say There are different degrees of social phobia, and probably, not all of the symptoms are necessarily the same as others.
I am one of those people who can "act" like I don't care what other's think but I believe social phobia can be pinpointed on the inside of a person - what's going through their minds. I stiffen up around people, I hardly speak etc.etc. but when spoken to, I will force myself to act like it's no big deal talking to the other because I am so concerned about how I 'appear' to others...which is another symptom of social phobia. I don't know whether this was very much help, but I just described how I feel

 

[hoddesdon]

It all depends on our definition of SA. People's are different.

I had a weird social phobia thing going on because I was sort of emotionally cold due to hypothyroidism. So to try and relate to people on a smaller scale, where they would expect you to smile and be warm and reciprocating was awful for me because people would think I was weird or a jerk and i'd have to play it off like by saying i had a really bad day or was stressed, that's why i was acting weird. What they didn't know was that it wasn't my fault - it was lack of thyroid hormone (and some others) that was preventing me from feeling normal about this situation. I knew what my body was doing and my mind was saying wasn't rational or normal, but i could do nothing to change it.

I'd go over it in my head a thousand times, and wonder why I couldn't bring myself to smile. But I just couldn't. However, having a couple drinks made it easier for me to force the smile, which was good because then I could atleast socialize while having a drink.

I could, however, easily speak in front of hundreds of people completely sober, because there was no expectation to be warm and friendly on a personal level.

Now that I'm completely better, I can relate to people easily and warmly and don't freak out or get upset or shut myself in the house because I can't stand the thought of going out in public and facing others all frowny-faced and being judged.

Did I have a social phobia? well, yes, it was socially-based and it was a phobia that prevented me from leaving the house at times. You may argue I did not have a true social phobia because I was "cured" and true social phobias cannot be cured in that way. But how many people are fully aware of what the root cause of theirs is? For whatever reason, my thyroid test read normal, so you can't simply say get a full physical work up because things don't always show up.

The only thing we can do is try every avenue to get better... counseling, nature's remedies, share stories on the forum, go to the doctor, and whatever else we can possibly think of.

So how did you find out that you have hypothyroidism, since your tests came back normal? What treatment did you get for hypothyroidism?