Do you socialize as poorly online as you do in real life?

[shut_out_of_life]

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[shon]

Re: Do you socialize as poorly online as you do in real life

I do just as poorly on websites like SPW as I do in my own "real life" community. These forums are intimidating for someone who's older and more messed up than the typical SPW member. I still get the feeling of being judged harshly by people who are better off than me.

I can't even pretend to be someone else online. I just can't do it.

Most of the time, it just isn't worth it to come out of lurking.

Well, we're in the same boat. I get nervous and don't even know what to write on here and I also feel like I'm being judged. I don't have any friends at all...not since high school and that was years ago! I've known a lot of judgmental people and I can't help but think someone is always criticizing me instead of just accepting me for who I am. That has taught me how to empathize more for others. I think this site is great though. Most people are understanding.

 

[Ahmed]

its strange that i feel okay when i talk to people online on chat.

 

[sabbath92001]

I have a hard time socializing online also. Chat rooms form cliques and then I feel like an intruder. SPW is a difficult place to socialize, the chat is always empty. There are nice people posting here, too bad they don't chat here too. Occasionally I chat at www.socialanxietysupportchat.com , the people there are very friendly. Also I used to go to SAUK chat too, but when they talk about their meets and such I feel like an intruder again.

 

[4seasons]

I agree, every time i make a post i find it hard to make posts on here. Every time i make one i consider deleting it.

 

[Joey86]

I agree, I think while socialising online removes the physical aspects of social interaction like seeing, verbally speaking, etc, but other aspects apply just as much online.

I always worry that I shouldn't be posting any of this stuff, that people will judge what I say, and criticise me, which can hurt just as much as if it was said in real life.

For me, I do find socialising online because people can't judge me on things like my appearance, I can think things through while I type them, etc.

 

[im_no_superman]

Socialising online is a piece of cake, in fact it's the only way i can actually talk to people, there is even people i can talk to online who i could not talk to face to face.

 

[LovelyMissMadi]

On forums I tend to have a harder time socializing... but if it's just me and one other person, like IMing, then I do okay.

 

[spectator]

Guys...first of all a forum is where you should feel the most free, since you can say whatever you want without your identity being revealed. Worst comes to worst change screen names, and even that may be going too far, since there are plenty of members with plenty of opinions and getting a few to dislike you is only natural. But on top of that this is SPW!!! A forum for people who can relate with one another when it comes to SA! I'm young, but I certainly don't *judge* older people, if anything, I respect them the most for what they've been through and can only hope that things will go all right for them...and hell I'm going down the same path. younger members don't look at older members as "weird" or "out of place" but as people with the best advice, the most interesting stories, and valuable members...if anything it's one-on-one IM that scares me a bit, because every word is being analyzed so thoroughly by only one other...

 

[badassbuffguy]

YEs, kind of.

Not on chat rooms as no one has an idea of who I am and I could care less what I type.

 

[HexNoir]

Yeah, I'm the same guy online and in real life. I don't socialize poorly, but I always have a growing suspicion that somebody's waiting for me to screw up! Haha

 

[PhantomPod]

Not really. I think that I do a much better job of socializing online. However, I do still have the thoughts that people are judging my posts and are looking to call me out on every little thing I say. :lol:

 

[summer]

I do feel afraid to post on some other forums where there are close little comunities and you feel you are an intruder and will be critized but i dont feel that way on here as everyone seems so friendly and understanding.

 

[hippiechild]

I do feel afraid to post on some other forums where there are close little comunities and you feel you are an intruder and will be critized but i dont feel that way on here as everyone seems so friendly and understanding.

Definitely, I feel much more free to post on SPW than anywhere else on the internet. I like to read what people post because it's always kind and understanding. Most other forums would respond to someone who post as little as me with, "who are you again...fail!"
I have trouble talking online, but usually not nearly as much as in person.

 

[Doomed2Die]

I pretty much never posted because of the all too familiar feeling of SA. Though in the past year or so I have changed much, still, everytime I'm about to check for replies I still feel a moderate-large level of anxiety.

SPW helps lots though, because there is something we all have in common.

 

[Tryin]

YES.

I do. I know I can seem quite social in here... yet it's not the kind of socialness that's constructive... not the kind that I'm seeking. I am never really honest. I am faking all the time. And I am feeling not liked, not welcome, not appretiated, not good. It's layered stuff buth on internet and in real-time.

 

[shynobody]

I do feel afraid to post on some other forums where there are close little comunities and you feel you are an intruder and will be critized but i dont feel that way on here as everyone seems so friendly and understanding.

Definitely, I feel much more free to post on SPW than anywhere else on the internet. I like to read what people post because it's always kind and understanding. Most other forums would respond to someone who post as little as me with, "who are you again...fail!"
I have trouble talking online, but usually not nearly as much as in person.

actually i'm the opposite of you two. i have no problems at other forums. but this one, hardly anyone talks to me lol . no one has said anything bad to me though . i like forming smaller communities on bigger forums so you can show the big shots that you have friends. anyone want to be in my "outsiders club"? lol. just PM me and we will start a thread, just for us 8). i definately find it easier to talk online than off...you have more time to think what to say . the problem is...i want human contact...not "talking" through a computer. so the last couple years...i've refrained from making online friends. but, my offline life sucks once again :roll: ...so i'm back here again lol. hope to make some friends this time around...well i made 2 last time .

 

[recluse]

I feel inferior and inept even posting on forums. I also used to go on msn but i felt awkward and couldn't think of things to type fast enough, and just sat there staring at the screen.

 

[aj]

I find that SA doesn't affect me at all online. It's the anonymity... generally if you make a tit of yourself, you can always create a new account and start again, and nobody ever needs to know. In real life you can't do that, if you mess things up enough, there's no going back, full stop. That's what I find scary

Online I'm like I want to be in real life, if I could.

 

[alter_ego]

I don't go into chat rooms but for a different reason. It somehow doesn't seem right (for me anyway) to chat to people I don't know. If I'm emailing a friend (someone I know in real life) I'll ramble for ages!

As for posting messages on forums, I find quite often (ie my opinion on something or other) I'll be saying exactly the same to a friend, relative or colleague the next day.

I think I come across as more confident online but on the whole no, I'm pretty much me online and off.