Invisibleman
Well-known member
Indeed.I have severe OCD perfection and my therapist told me its a large part of my anxiety. And I know thats its obviously impossible to be perfect and it insanely bothers me.
Do you have to be perfect?
- Thread starter Flyingheart
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ridicule
Well-known member
I think you all are missing the basic underlying problem with this whole... concept. What the **** is perfect anyway? As I always like to say, there is no "right" way to live or "right" way to be, there's no manual for life. Ask 100 people what being perfect entails and you would most likely get at least 80 or 90 unique answers that are different from the others.
I like to think I'm perfect, not in the sense that I am at the final stage of the metamorphosis of being human, but that, based on all the information I currently have about myself, my environment, the world, and everyone else, I'm the best that I can be. Now tomorrow, I might find some new information that totally negates everything I know, but there is no way to tell what happens tomorrow.
So just calm down, at a 10 when you need to be at a 2, you are all pretty most perfect to yourselves or you else you wouldn't be the person you are. Unless you have a serious mental condition, that is.
I like to think I'm perfect, not in the sense that I am at the final stage of the metamorphosis of being human, but that, based on all the information I currently have about myself, my environment, the world, and everyone else, I'm the best that I can be. Now tomorrow, I might find some new information that totally negates everything I know, but there is no way to tell what happens tomorrow.
So just calm down, at a 10 when you need to be at a 2, you are all pretty most perfect to yourselves or you else you wouldn't be the person you are. Unless you have a serious mental condition, that is.
Thanks for the answers everyone. Actually I was referring to personality rather than physicalEverything you said is true, it's just working out a way to stop feeling like I need to be perfect, when trying to be doesn't result in my feeling any better as I'm sure is the same for everyone else here. When people are around me, I just get this inexplicable urge to be as perfect as I could possibly be, from everything I know about that person, I will mould myself to suit them (if that makes sense). I know it's wrong, so if I keep telling myself these rational, logical sentences maybe they will finally break through...
^I know what you mean. Its same with me. But perhaps the reason we feel this way is desperately wanting to be accepted by others. For me personally when I'm around people I would do anything to suit them.
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
Actually, I can't imagine anything more tedious than a perfect person, especially if it was someone who also demanded perfection from me.
Hugh Mackay
Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.
Lord Chesterfield
An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's.
J. D. Salinger
Hugh Mackay
Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.
Lord Chesterfield
An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's.
J. D. Salinger
Flyingheart
Well-known member
I think I mislead some people when I said "have" to be perfect I meant your goal is to be perfect, you need to do it whereas the reality may or may not be true. For me, I don't feel I'm perfect.
So here's a question, do you think telling someone about our problems would help? Like if someone else in our lives knew that we feel so insecure around others and want approval due to our low self esteems, do you think if someone was there to counter your thoughts that that would help? Or would you still disbelieve them? I sincerely hope that whatever they say would still touch me in some way and make me realise I'm thinking all wrong.
So here's a question, do you think telling someone about our problems would help? Like if someone else in our lives knew that we feel so insecure around others and want approval due to our low self esteems, do you think if someone was there to counter your thoughts that that would help? Or would you still disbelieve them? I sincerely hope that whatever they say would still touch me in some way and make me realise I'm thinking all wrong.
Im not sure if I have ever tried to be perfect, or felt I wasn't. In my oppinion if everybody was perfect everbody would be the same and boring
One thing about me is I find imperfections attractive, things that set people apart, whether physical or personality wise.
A lot of people I know are self conscious about certain things, those are usually the things I find attractive about them
One thing about me is I find imperfections attractive, things that set people apart, whether physical or personality wise.
A lot of people I know are self conscious about certain things, those are usually the things I find attractive about them
MaliceInWickedland
Well-known member
Honestly I am sort of a perfectionist sometimes, especially here on this site where I tend to get insecure about my posts, thinking I said something wrong or I see some sort of grammatical error or something that needs to be re-worded. Duly noted whenever you see "last edited at so-and-so time" underneath my posts ::
:chrisjurban
Well-known member
this is one of my demons! again. the urge to perform in social situations.....academic situations......leisurely situations..............lol. i usually have to bring myself to awareness to know that the urge is cropping up. then i'm able to confront it and expand the framework to which i'm restricting myself.
Flyingheart
Well-known member
Honestly I am sort of a perfectionist sometimes, especially here on this site where I tend to get insecure about my posts, thinking I said something wrong or I see some sort of grammatical error or something that needs to be re-worded. Duly noted whenever you see "last edited at so-and-so time" underneath my posts :
I do this as well! And then I think someone notices it and is judging me blahblah.
coyote
Well-known member
beautifully stated
da_illest101
Well-known member
What I realized is people liked me more when i'm just myself then when I try to be perfect so i stop trying to be something I'm not. No one is perfect end of story. Trying to be perfect at everything is simply dilusional
coyote
Well-known member
stated perfectly
EscapeArtist
Well-known member
This is what divides shyness and social anxiety from avoidance. Perfection! We want to be perfect either to be approved, or in the case that we are trying to be perfect in something we are doing for ourselves, because we are impatient. Hand in hand with procrastination, put it off until you're more perfect. Bah humbug, I despise perfection
Dead_on_Arrival
Well-known member
I am perfect in every way shape and form.
I am a hunk, with chiselled good looks.
A fine lover.
A great cook.
An intellectual.
Kind and considerate.
Strong willed.
Physicaly well toned.
Confident in myself.
Right then, who's the git that just woke me up from my lovely dream.
I am a hunk, with chiselled good looks.
A fine lover.
A great cook.
An intellectual.
Kind and considerate.
Strong willed.
Physicaly well toned.
Confident in myself.
Right then, who's the git that just woke me up from my lovely dream.
