Do you get the feeling that people don't like you?

[Diend]

I AM trying to be friendlier. I AM trying to be more open with others. But sometimes I see a look in their eyes like "Dude, what the heck?" as if I'm doing something wrong and I don't belong here. It's probably my fault that I go to the extremes of trying to be helpful and trying to tie together a class of stoic classmates. It hurts when I try something and it fails. It doesn't make me want to try again. I was told in high school that I was too quiet and reserved. They were right: I didn't feel confident being myself in the classroom. I felt extremely anxious just sitting in my seat. But now, I'm trying to be Mr.Loudmouth in the class in my college, volunteering as much as I can, and getting labeled as "the weird guy". Getting labeled as that isn't good. It creeps people out. But I feel that it's better to be labeled "the annoying loudmouth prick who doesn't know the correct way to behave in society" than "quiet guy".

The ironic thing about my life as a college student is: I am relatively vocal and annoyingly obnoxious in class, but I have barely made any friends on my own - that is, without somebody initiating the "hey there". Casual relationships scare the heck out of me. I feel bad for the people who try to reach out to me, and be friendly but get no response. I'm too scared! I feel intimidated and inferior when I try to make friends with people my exact age. I don't get that anxiety when I'm trying to befriend people younger than me or older than me...but I get an overwhelming anxiety when I'm trying to get to know people MY OWN AGE. What does that mean?

Thanks guys for reading, all of ya's.

 

[MikeyC]

I am relatively vocal and annoyingly obnoxious in class
I feel bad for the people who try to reach out to me, and be friendly but get no response. I'm too scared!

Just a guess, but maybe the people trying to talk to you see you as this talkative, extroverted individual and think you would be cool to hang out with, and when they try to initiate conversation you go all quiet. I guess that could be misinterpreted as you disliking them because you're so loud otherwise.

Also, being "obnoxious" isn't always a good quality. ::

Overall I would say that you shouldn't try to be loud and noticed if it's not who you are. If you're a quiet guy, you're a quiet guy. Nothing wrong with that at all.

 

[MrJones]

You are trying and that's good.

Anyway I don't suggest that you should keep trying to become someone different. Be yourself and try to be friendly. Try to talk but not as a loudmouth.

You don't have to change yourself to satisfy others, just try to be more open and talkative while remaining your own persona.

 

[MercySparx]

Sometimes people simply just don't like you. Stop worrying about it. Its usually for traits that other people would find appealing. I've learned that if people don't like me, I usually don't like them either. I put people off because I'm rather blunt and confrontational. My humor is very sarcastic and dark, and alot of people don't realize I'm joking. People find themselves to be threatened or intimadated by me. I consider those people to be idiots. I think I'm awesome, so screw the people who don't agree.

 

[MercySparx]

Srsly, theres this one girl in my social circle who hates me because she really believes that I was serious when I said abortion is awesome because you get free drugs and that everyone should start smoking because its cool and Fonze did it.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Not everyone is friendship material however, there are some who are and i'm sure you would be a great friend! Also something to think about, do you really like everyone yourself? Like if a drug dealer came up to me wanting to hang out and talk, i would be eh uncomfortable. On the other hand you could probably get a long with almost anyone knowing that person more and more but it takes awhile, so much effort lol.

 

[Ms Cloud]

I feel intimidated and inferior when I try to make friends with people my exact age. I don't get that anxiety when I'm trying to befriend people younger than me or older than me...but I get an overwhelming anxiety when I'm trying to get to know people MY OWN AGE.

I was like that too. The obvious solution is to hang out with people who are not the same age as you. If they make you feel less insecure, then why not? (stopping short of cradle-robbing of course). My first and only boyfriend was 47 when I was 20, and he was awesome. I didn't specifically go looking for an older man, but I couldn't deny how comfortable I felt in his presence, relative to how I felt around people my own age. I don't even know why it was so, it just was.

Srsly, theres this one girl in my social circle who hates me because she really believes that I was serious when I said abortion is awesome because you get free drugs and that everyone should start smoking because its cool and Fonze did it.

Most people like their humor a little more safe, sterile and socially sanctioned. I have the same issue... I crack myself up with my own jokes, but my sense of humor does not enjoy a wide appeal.

 

[Predacon]

If you know you're being obnoxius, surely it can't be that hard to tone it down a bit. If your attempt to befriend people is turning them away its definitely time to reconsider how you're coming across.