Do you ever wonder why certain people are popular?

[WishingICould]

or just have friends in general? I mean, i've known some pretty shady people. I've known liars, cheats, bullies yet all of them had/have a large group of friends and a good social life. Do people not care if you have morals as long as you're outgoing and "fun"? It really sucks seeing people have a great social life when they don't deserve it. I know that i'm a nice person yet i'm alone most of the time with a pretty non-existent social life.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

or just have friends in general? I mean, i've known some pretty shady people. I've known liars, cheats, bullies yet all of them had/have a large group of friends and a good social life. Do people not care if you have morals as long as you're outgoing and "fun"? It really sucks seeing people have a great social life when they don't deserve it. I know that i'm a nice person yet i'm alone most of the time with a pretty non-existent social life.

Who cares about their social life. They're just with other bottom feeders. You don't want their company anyway. As they say, birds of a feather, flock together.

Maybe you should create a Meetup.com event in your area. Where a bunch of SAs can get together?.......See if you can meet a few people from this forum. I think it would be a healthy experience for you.

 

[anomicdeer]

I know what you mean. I just don't get it. Like my ex. No one sees it. They can't see he doesn't care about his children. He lies, but they don't live with him so they don't see it. They aren't in a relationship with him and don't try to put the pieces together. At least trying to put the pieces together wouldn't go very well because he doesn't make sense. He lie, he make excuses for everything.

 

[this_portrait]

Some people are also pretty good at manipulating others into liking them.

 

[BlueDays]

Some people are also pretty good at manipulating others into liking them.

^ This! :thumbup:

 

[BamanPiderman]

I always wonder that about really obnoxious, pushy, overbearing people. When I talk to their "friends" about them, they almost always say that no one actually likes that person, but they won't take the hint and leave them alone.

 

[dottie]

Some people are also pretty good at manipulating others into liking them.

this. buyer beware.

 

[WishingICould]

There was this one guy i used to like until i found out what a total creep he was. One of his supposed friends even called him a "dog" (he sleeps around and uses people) yet he was supposedly his friend. I don't understand.

 

[this_portrait]

There was this one guy i used to like until i found out what a total creep he was. One of his supposed friends even called him a "dog" (he sleeps around and uses people) yet he was supposedly his friend. I don't understand.

He might have been "friends" with him out of pity.

 

[WishingICould]

He might have been "friends" with him out of pity.

I don't think it's pity because the guy that called him that now lives in another country yet he invites him over there. It's not like he has to hang out with him. I think a lot of people don't care about their "friends" behaviour as long as it doesn't effect them.

 

[laure15]

I don't think it's pity because the guy that called him that now lives in another country yet he invites him over there. It's not like he has to hang out with him. I think a lot of people don't care about their "friends" behaviour as long as it doesn't effect them.

Maybe some people are so outgoing, "fun", and charismatic that they attract other people no matter how they behave. These people have cast a spell on other people, so to speak.

Also many people are afraid of being alone. They would rather hang out with the popular person with questionable morals rather than the quiet person who is friendless.

 

[WishingICould]

Do you think people can tell if you're friendless without knowing you? I sometimes wonder if people at work some how know how pathetic my personal life is even if i don't tell them.

 

[laure15]

Do you think people can tell if you're friendless without knowing you? I sometimes wonder if people at work some how know how pathetic my personal life is even if i don't tell them.

Yes, people somehow can sense that I'm a loner, even without speaking to me. When I lived on campus, I've had people called me a loner, more than once, even though they've never spoken to me. When people see a quiet person who isn't outgoing, they automatically assume that this person is unpopular and has no friends. At least that's what I think.

 

[Fanden]

Don't those people usually have only shallow relationships? I don't know.

 

[Lamb]

or just have friends in general? I mean, i've known some pretty shady people. I've known liars, cheats, bullies yet all of them had/have a large group of friends and a good social life. Do people not care if you have morals as long as you're outgoing and "fun"? It really sucks seeing people have a great social life when they don't deserve it. I know that i'm a nice person yet i'm alone most of the time with a pretty non-existent social life.

They probably have friends with similar qualities, charisma, or maybe even narcissistic tendencies. It's difficult to label as it's subjective.

Do you think people can tell if you're friendless without knowing you? I sometimes wonder if people at work some how know how pathetic my personal life is even if i don't tell them.

Not sure. Don't think the majority of people take the time to reflect that deeply upon others personal lives. Also depends how you come across; some may have a curiosity and make assumptions. For example, I can play off being bubbly when I want to, and if I feel the need to be left alone. The topic of socializing doesn't pop up often unless people are the prying, generally nosey type, in which that's none of their business anyway. lol

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

Maybe some people are so outgoing, "fun", and charismatic that they attract other people no matter how they behave. These people have cast a spell on other people, so to speak.

Also many people are afraid of being alone. They would rather hang out with the popular person with questionable morals rather than the quiet person who is friendless.

I think that is exactly it. If one is a jerk with no personality, then one probably would be a friendless jerk. The exception is the intimidating bully in high school because some kids fear the repercussions of not being that person's friend.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

Do you think people can tell if you're friendless without knowing you? I sometimes wonder if people at work some how know how pathetic my personal life is even if i don't tell them.

I don't think anyone can tell from a first impression. If they see enough times without anybody with you, then they can safely assume. I know I can't tell if someone is a loner when I first see them. I usually, though falsely, think people can tell that I am a loner. I think it's all in our heads though.

 

[coyote]

I don't think it's pity because the guy that called him that now lives in another country yet he invites him over there. It's not like he has to hang out with him. I think a lot of people don't care about their "friends" behaviour as long as it doesn't effect them.

Maybe some people are so outgoing, "fun", and charismatic that they attract other people no matter how they behave. These people have cast a spell on other people, so to speak.

Also many people are afraid of being alone. They would rather hang out with the popular person with questionable morals rather than the quiet person who is friendless.

people like to hang out with people of "questionable morals" so that they can live vicariously through them - they get to enjoy hearing about all the stuff that they wouldn't be able to bring themselves to do even though they might want to

 

[PGT]

Yes these people may have lots of friends, but what kind of friends are they?. These kind of people usually change friends on a regular basis, to me they have acquaintances not friends.
People like us on the other hand struggle to make friends but when we do its a proper friendship built on trust and respect and can last a long long time and not just be tossed away when someone more fun comes along.
I would rather have 1 good friend than 20 acquaintances.

 

[Roman Legion]

They're just with other bottom feeders. You don't want their company anyway.

Your comment made this pop into my head "Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company." - George Washington