Do you ever feel like people take an instant dislike to you?

[UnOccupied]

Girls and guys are way different, and i can't even begin to imagine how to interact with fellow women. BUT, i do know that people sometimes will step on other when they're being overly nice. Being nice is great, but you also need to assert yourself at times. Even just once will show others you can hold your own, and it shows confidence as well.

Also, be sure that your niceness when you meet new people is 100% genuine! I can't stress this enough. If any part of you is just being nice to have others like you, others will sense your in-congruence in your personality. On the other hand, if you meet a new person and just say Hi, what's up? And, you give a small smile, as opposed to going overly nice, this can make a huge difference. Embody whatever emotions you are feeling, and act through that emotion.

 

[WishingICould]

I'm just so terribly self concious that i can't just smile and say "hi."

 

[UnOccupied]

Try taking an indirect method. Go out into the city or a mall. Whenever you buy something, say to the cashier, thank you very much, my name is (name), you were very helpful.

Next time, try asking cashier how their day was.

Next, ask random person in store their opinion on a dress you like.

The key here is to take action! You will never get comfortable in your own skin until you take action and challenge yourself. It doesn't need to be every day. But, i guaranty at once you try this, you will feel a high sense of self esteem and not want to stop. Sound good?

 

[anomicdeer]

I never understood people like that. I do feel the same way and somehow I feel more comfortable talking to males too. I really don't think it's an intimidation thing but maybe it is.

I would say, stop worrying about them and don't think of you being inferior but they are. If they treat someone like that it's probably because they wish they knew you or need someone to make fun of to feel better about themselves.

 

[HiddenGirl01]

Would u describe yourself as anti-social? I think you shouldn't put too much thought in the issue. Be relaxed. Maybe the girls who are rude to you can have a feeling ur so shy but it's no way for them to act rude 2 u. The rude girls know u have a better personality then them. If ur main concern is that you want 2 make more friends, be optimistic/patient that you'll find more people who is nice to u like the one in the workplace. I've been super shy (until recent), but where I guess Florida has nicer people than where ur from...

 

[ukmale]

that's the problem in life

I don't know where are people are from in the world but in the uk

Kids leave school at 16 and start clubbing and drinking at 18 don't get me wring they do it younger in the park

so everyone is loud out going all up and in your face most young lads go off for lads holidays there is this social idea to be normal you have to be out going fearless shag as much as you can look amazingly stunning or otherwise you don't fit in and when you don't fit in you stand out like your painted pink so then you become a target as they feel like they are bigger better and badder in there little group of friends

Sadly when your a flightless brid and can't fly with the rest the killer sharks at the bottom try and eat you at every chance they get in life all because they have problems that they don't know/understand so let it out on others

 

[Saga]

Wow, that's so rude. ._. And this is why I dislike people. -_- Well, not really, but so many seem to be SO quick to judge and form opinions of others, without really getting to know them first.
I feel that too, actually, though I have thoughts more along the lines of that my conversation will bore me, or that they think I'm weird, more than disliking me.

I feel exactly like you do in this post though;

''Yes, it sucks. I don't understand people at all. I know i'm a nice, caring person and would do anything for people i care about but people never seem to want to know me. The girl at work who was horrible to me ended up sleeping with a co-worker's husband and getting pregnant, forcing his poor wife to leave because she couldn't face seeing her yet THIS horrible, skanky woman has friends?''

I don't know anyone that horrible, but a lot of the girls in the popular group at my school always gossip and backstab and constantly seem to be switching friendships within the main group and I often wonder how they have so many friends... But then I think maybe they're not actually true friends. I'm going off topic, sorry. :c Anyway, I guess I'm just trying to say I can relate.

 

[Kiwong]

I seem to cause problems wherever I go. I finish up ****ting people who at first like me.

 

[WishingICould]

Would u describe yourself as anti-social? I think you shouldn't put too much thought in the issue. Be relaxed. Maybe the girls who are rude to you can have a feeling ur so shy but it's no way for them to act rude 2 u. The rude girls know u have a better personality then them. If ur main concern is that you want 2 make more friends, be optimistic/patient that you'll find more people who is nice to u like the one in the workplace. I've been super shy (until recent), but where I guess Florida has nicer people than where ur from...

Would I describe myself as anti social? No. I'm not shy I have social anxiety. There's a big difference.

 

[LRP]

I have the opposite problem but they end up not liking me or thinking I'm weird anyway. People have a tendency to want to befriend me and I will try to make small talk but soon I become anxious and withdrawn. It's frustrating because I want friends so bad but every time someone initiates, I end up withdrawing. I feel like a hermit. I peek my head out every once in a while and then snatch it back in.

 

[kilojoule]

People do, well all do, at times. I've met people and taken an instant dislike to them, we all do it. eg. just last night, I instantly disliked someone.

I was in the shop and I got to the cashdesk and an item wouldn't scan. I apologised out loud. The cashier left to go off and get a barcode. There was a queue. I felt like everyone was staring at me. It wasn't my fault, the item had no barcode and was the last one on the shelf and I needed it for cooking dinner, otherwise I would have left it. It was the store's fault, not mine and there was nothing I could have done, I couldn't run back and get another one, there wasn't any left. The woman (bout my age) behind stared at me and made faces and acted all impatient and sighed and made a big deal of it. Then she tried to cut into the next queue and they were all annoyed. They all started staring at me. Both lines were staring at me. I took a dislike to this woman for being so ill mannered.

 

[Kiwong]

There are people who have called me names and I've never spoken to them before. Perhaps rumours of my anxiety get around. It really hurts deeply to feel so disliked.

 

[KiaKaha]

There are people who have called me names and I've never spoken to them before. Perhaps rumours of my anxiety get around. It really hurts deeply to feel so disliked.

Indeed. Yes. It does hurt.

People have feelings. People want to be accepted and loved.

For some reason we seem to dislike others so quickly for the most silliest and trivial reasons.

Personally I think it all comes down to fear.
Everything.

 

[Kiwong]

Indeed. Yes. It does hurt.

People have feelings. People want to be accepted and loved.

For some reason we seem to dislike others so quickly for the most silliest and trivial reasons.

Personally I think it all comes down to fear.
Everything.

Yes, everyone desires some acceptance and love. Often for those who are bullied, torment and persecution is what they get. Love is just refused without them even asking for it.

I think it is communal gossip and peer group pressure that plays a part even in so called adults.

 

[jaim38]

There are people who have called me names and I've never spoken to them before. Perhaps rumours of my anxiety get around. It really hurts deeply to feel so disliked.

I feel the same too. I have become probably the most unpopular person at school due to this.
But now I try to tell myself that if they don't like me, it's their problem not mine. I didn't do anything to offend or hurt anyone so it's not my fault they don't like me.

 

[Syllogu]

I don't know if this is the SA talking or if it's actually reality but when i speak to new people or people i don't know very well i get this feeling that they secretly dislike me. Like, i try to be as friendly as i can and smile (eurgh) but it just seems like other girls my age take an instant dislike to me or look at me like i'm an alien. I have one genuine female friend who i met through work, that's it. I just find it impossible to make female friends and it hurts. For some strange reason i seem to find it easier to talk to guys and haven't had many problems talking to them (unless i find them attractive).

Maybe it's my awkwardness or the fact that they already have friends so they don't need anymore but, whatever the reason, it makes me feel like i'm inferior. When i was at college, my first day, none of the girls spoke to me and one of them actually said "do i have to sit next to her?" I was bullied badly because of my red hair and the fact i was quiet and didn't smile enough. It ruined college for me and i left in the end.

Now i'm working i see the same sort of behaviour. I'm like an oddity to them because i don't drink and i'm quiet. One of them told me i need to get a life. Frankly, i don't see what business it is of theirs what i do outside of work. I've tried my best to be civil to the bitchy ones but it hasn't helped. One girl from work added me on Facebook then one of her friends commented "LOL Her?" The one who added me seems nice yet she's best friends with that horrible girl. I don't get it. Should i just be horrible to be people see if i get more respect and maybe friends?

Ah... That's so horrible! Don't mind her though, she's just a stupid shallow cock eating monster. Not even worth a split second of your thoughts.

You want to focus on people who are not like that. Like the one who added you perhaps.

To answer your question, yes. I'm actually quite paranoid about it. But all of it is girls, they seem to have standards and ****. Don't give a damn 'bout reaching the freakin' standard. I want to get to know people, not wave flags.